


Monday

by SPowell



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: First Time, M/M, Modern AU, dub con, stalking by ex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-17 23:36:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPowell/pseuds/SPowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for kink_me Merlin prompt: moody!Merlin being cheered up by the handsome stranger who always goes out of his way to do nice things for him! You can even have Arthur tell Merlin this quote, and have him add on something about Arthur having a crush on Merlin.</p><p>Just off a bad two-year relationship, Merlin is hesitant to begin another. But Arthur is sweet, persuasive, and so much better than Merlin's ex (Mordred) in every way. However, skittish Merlin decides he must play the field, and Mordred seems to pop up everywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything's Going Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: dub-con, slight sexual violence, recovery of domestic (emotional) abuse (past relationship), stalking and manipulation by an ex.  
> Arthur/Merlin are the main relationship. All others are either in the past or dalliances. I truly believe in happy endings.
> 
> Disclaimer: The characters here belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.

 

 

Merlin utterly and completely despised Mondays.  That Monday in particular seemed to be going down in history as the most stupendously rotten Monday _ever_ to grace the calendar. His calendar, anyway. He began to list all that had gone wrong so far (and it was only eight o’clock in the morning, for God’s sake!) in a kind of monotonous mumble as he re-entered Freya’s password to the computer after she’d locked herself out for the fourth time—“Sorry, but these are new fingernails!”—he soon stopped, however, when he found he was depressing himself even further.

“Thank you, Mr. Emrys!” Freya said with a bright smile, and Merlin tried hard to make his answering smile at least half as genuine.

“You’re welcome. Please do it slowly this time, okay?” Merlin rolled his eyes as soon as his back was to the girl.

Maybe if he wasn’t just so damn sick of his job. He’d been managing the same office for five years straight, and it didn’t look as though he’d be moving up in the corporation any time soon. Even Will had been promoted to accounting…of course, Will had applied for the new position. Merlin hadn’t exactly made any attempts to better his situation. He’d known about the opening in advertising for a month before it was filled, but he hadn’t been able to get up the courage to apply for it.

With a sigh, he rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses (ripping his contact lens that morning had been the second thing to go wrong after his alarm failing to go off) and headed for the elevators. “I’ll be right back,” he told Cenred, who barely nodded before continuing to play Angry Birds on his iPhone.

On the third floor, Merlin headed for the coffee lounge. He normally drank his coffee downstairs in their lounge, but the coffee maker had broken that morning. (That was bad thing number six—after cutting himself shaving, running out of hot water in the shower, and taking fifteen minutes to catch a cab.)

Mentally cursing to find the room fairly full of executive-types from the top floor, Merlin tried to make himself as unobtrusive as possible as he squeezed around a woman with long dark hair talking to a blond man that Merlin had noticed a few times before. He would’ve noticed him regardless, because the man was fucking _gorgeous_ , but the first time he’d been so kind as to hold the door open for Merlin when he’d been carrying a heavy box, even though Merlin had been at least twelve steps behind the blond and had to accelerate his pace to get to the door before the man could develop a cramp from holding it.  The second time Merlin had encountered him, the man had paid for Merlin’s pastry from the cart in the lobby when Merlin found himself embarrassingly short of cash. He’d simply smiled and told Merlin to have a nice day and gotten on the elevator.

Merlin found himself wondering if the guy was perpetually happy as he watched him throw his head back and laugh—a fairly delightful sound, Merlin had to admit—before kissing the woman on the cheek and moving toward the counter to doctor his coffee.

Merlin filled his own disposable cup with the aromatic brew and turned to get some cream only to find the blond man studying him. The room had emptied out somewhat.

“Cheer up, mate,” the man told Merlin with a smile.

“Huh?” Merlin said, a little distracted by a bloke reaching around him for a coffee stirrer.

“You’re frowning,” the blond told him. “It’s a beautiful day today, and only a quarter past eight. What’s to be so down about?”

“Plenty,” Merlin grumbled, pouring cream into his cup and stirring a little too vigorously, for hot coffee spilled onto his hand. “Shit!”

The blond grabbed some napkins with one hand and Merlin’s arm with the other, mopping up the coffee. Merlin found the man’s touch a little disconcerting, especially when his handsome face looked all concerned and solicitous. Merlin tugged his arm away with a hurried “thanks” and wiped the table clean with another napkin.

“I’m Arthur,” the man introduced himself.

“Merlin,” Merlin said a bit shortly, inwardly wincing. When had he become such a rude bastard? He suspected he knew precisely when, but he didn’t want to go there.

Arthur smiled, making his attractive face even more appealing. _I do not need this,_ Merlin thought.  

Arthur leaned his fit body dressed in an impeccably tailored suit against the counter, cocked his gorgeous head, and said, “I know today is Monday and you assume it’s going to suck, but according to statistics, there will be over 5,000 weddings, 10,000 childbirths, and 42 million hugs occurring today throughout the United States. Also today, there will be at least 4 people that will win the multimillion dollar lotteries, 600 people will get promotions at work, and 3,000 people will lose their virginity. There will also be 600 dogs adopted, 35,000 balloons sold, and 800,000 skittles eaten. Plus, the words 'I love you' will be said over 9 million times. So again, I know today is Monday and you assume it’s going to suck, but just smile, because according to statistics, it should actually be a really nice day.” 

Merlin could only stand wide-eyed and open-mouthed after this unexpected speech, watching as Arthur picked up his coffee, gave him a rather constipated smile, and left the room. _What the hell?_

He contemplated this weird event as he made his way back down to his floor, dodging Cenred, who chose that moment to abandon his game and get up from his desk. If Arthur hadn’t kindly placed a lid on Merlin’s cup, he would have found the entire contents spilled down the front of his dress shirt as Cenred nearly plowed into him.

 _What the hell kind of person memorizes something like that in order to quote it to people?_ Merlin wondered with a shake of his head. _A totally barmy person,_ he decided, and headed for his desk.

By lunch time, Merlin’s day hadn’t gotten any better; in fact, an atrocious headache had been added to his list of reasons he just wanted to go home and crawl back into bed. With a sigh, he put down the charts he’d been looking at for the past hour and stared at the sunny streets outside the window populated with people who seemed to be glad to be alive, even if it was Monday. Perhaps a walk down to the delicatessen would do him some good, rather than ordering in, as he’d at first thought he’d do. He pulled his mobile out of his pocket and speed-dialed Will, listening to the elevator music Will insisted on using for a ring as he shuffled through his desk drawer for some pain reliever.

“Fancy lunch out?” he asked him.

“Can’t, sorry,” Will answered, his mouth sounding full. “Ordered in so I could finish things up. I want to leave half an hour early today. Have a date.”

“Who with?” Merlin asked, curious. Will hadn’t dated anyone in a rat’s age.

“Bird up in management. Name’s Morgause something-er-other. It took a right long time to get her to agree to go out with me, and I have a magnificent evening planned. I’ve been saving up for months.”

“Well, ring me when it’s over and let me know how it went.”

Merlin hung up, swallowed his pills dry, and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair, sliding it over his shoulders.

The day was brisk and clean-smelling, with a slight scent of wood-smoke in the air that made Merlin think of winters in his home town of Ealdor. He purposely slowed his brisk walk in order to enjoy the day, thinking he really didn’t have to be in such an awful hurry. He found himself almost smiling when he pushed open the door to the deli and walked in.

The tables were all full, so Merlin ordered his lunch to go and returned to the plaza outside, taking a seat on a bench and hungrily digging into his food.

“Didn’t skip breakfast, did you?” a familiar voice asked over his shoulder. Startling, Merlin almost choked on his sandwich. He looked up to see Arthur standing a foot away, a carry-out bag from a chip shop in his hand. “Mind if I sit with you?” Arthur smiled.

Merlin had rather eat alone, but what could he say? He scooted over a bit on the bench and caught a delicious aroma of spicey cologne as Arthur took a seat. Merlin found himself breathing in again just to detect the scent of clean skin under the cologne and maybe a hint of shampoo, too. He was a sucker for nice-smelling men. He quickly returned his attention to his sandwich, reminding himself that he was on the rebound.

“You look a bit happier,” Arthur commented, taking a sip of whatever was in his styrofoam cup. “I’m glad.”

Merlin didn’t know what to say to that. He took a drink from his water bottle and considered. “Don’t think it was that incredibly trite baloney you quoted to me this morning that did it,” he found himself answering. Arthur only grinned. _Did the man not get affronted at anything?_

“Do you find yourself memorizing Hallmark cards, too?” Merlin pushed, a little chagrined at his apparent determination to be the biggest ass possible to the nicest man he’d ever met.

Arthur flicked him a look. “Only if they’re particularly witty or inspiring,” he replied, leaning back and stretching his long legs out before him. He closed his eyes, tilted his head back, and let the sun fall on his flawless face. Merlin found himself desperately wanting to lick along the expanse of Arthur’s neck, and bit his lip hard.

“I suppose things just improved, and getting out of the building helped,” Merlin admitted after a moment, looking down at the remains of his food.

“That’s why I try to get out for a bit every day,” Arthur told him, not moving. Merlin ventured a look at him again, focusing this time on the intricate shape of Arthur’s left ear and finding he wanted to lick that, too. He cleared his throat.

“I guess I’d better get back.” He wadded up his trash and threw it into the receptacle beside him.

Arthur turned his head slightly and opened one eye. “What’s the rush?”

“No rush,” Merlin frowned.

“There it is again.” Arthur sat up. “A frown is a damn shame on a mouth like yours.”

Merlin’s heart sped up. He wondered exactly what Arthur meant by that comment—it seemed an obvious come-on, but surely it wasn’t. Whoever this man was, he was certainly out of Merlin’s league. With that suit, he had to be an executive. Plus, the fact that Merlin rarely laid eyes on him spoke of the upper offices where the head of the corporation was housed. He began to wonder if he was some company psychiatrist hired to boost employee morale and prevent imminent suicide.

“You’re still doing it. Frowning,” Arthur said, his deep blue eyes fixed on Merlin’s mouth in a way that made Merlin want very much to kiss him. He stood abruptly.

“Er, well, I have an awful lot of work to catch up on. See you around, yeah?” Merlin took off down the street at a speed walk. It had been rather rude, but the feelings he’d experienced under Arthur’s unwavering gaze had confused him.

He spent the rest of the day huddled over his desk immersed in work.

When Merlin entered his flat that evening, he greeted his cat, Lolly, and filled her bowl. Then he began systematically undressing until he was in his undershorts and there was a trail of clothing from the kitchen to his bedroom. He wondered how Will’s date was going. Flopping down on the bed, he noticed the light flashing on his answering machine. Leaning over, he pressed the button.

“Merlin, I was hoping you’d be home by now. I’d really like to meet with you tonight. Talk. Maybe drinks at The Griffin?”

Merlin sat up straight in bed when he heard the voice. What on earth would Mordred want to have drinks for? He’d thought they’d said everything they’d needed to say to one another two weeks ago during the epic break-up fight. The message had been left two hours ago—Merlin had worked later than usual to finish a project so he wouldn’t have to get up at the ass crack of dawn the next morning. He blew air out his lips. Mordred had surely realized Merlin wasn’t going to call back by now—but a moment later the doorbell dispelled the notion that his ex had given up on the idea of talking.

Pulling himself up off the bed, Merlin padded down the hall and opened the door a crack. Mordred stood there looking typically boyish and unsure. This, Merlin knew from experience, was a total façade, yet still it worked on his carefully constructed defenses.

“I only just got home and got your message,” Merlin told him, opening the door a bit wider. He felt Mordred’s gaze rake over his body and cursed himself for not having at least pulled on a robe.

“You’re not going to invite me in?” Mordred asked, his eyes all puppy-dog big.

Merlin sighed and stepped back, allowing him entrance. “What exactly do you think we need to talk about?” he asked him.

Mordred walked in and turned around, leaving very little space between them. Merlin found himself backed up against the door. “I think we made a mistake ending things.”

Merlin placed a hand on Mordred’s chest and pushed a little, forcing him to take a step back. “I think we did the right thing.”

Mordred pouted. “Merlin…I love you.”

“No, you don’t,” Merlin laughed. “You love manipulating me. You were always cheating on me, then doing your best to convince me you weren’t.” He reminded himself that Mordred only ever used those words when he wanted something.

“That isn’t true! I tried to tell you, you have it all wrong.”

“For Christ’s sake, I saw you with Gwaine at that party! Your tongue was half-way down his throat!” Merlin snapped, annoyed that the recollection still hurt.

“I was trying to make you jealous,” Mordred said, running a finger down Merlin’s arm and pausing at the waist-band of Merlin’s boxers.

Merlin felt his traitorous dick snap to attention. It had been a while, and after lunch with Arthur that afternoon, Merlin was horny as hell. He could probably get turned on by just about anyone at that point. Not that Mordred wasn’t sexy; he was. But that ship had sailed, and the things Mordred had put him through had effectively cancelled all of Merlin’s feelings for him. Well, most of his feelings. He was working on it.

Merlin pushed off the wall and brushed past Mordred, heading for the living room.

“I don’t want to re-hash the past,” Merlin said resolutely.

“God, Merlin, you are so hot,” Mordred surprised him by saying in a gravelly voice that sent a shiver down Merlin’s spine. _This would be a very bad idea,_ Merlin told himself, feeling his cock growing harder.

He stopped in the middle of the room and felt Mordred come up behind him. “Maybe we can be friends?” Mordred suggested, breath hot on Merlin’s ear. “With benefits?” _A bad, bad idea. So bad._ Merlin’s cock throbbed, trying to poke its way out of the slit in his boxers. Mordred’s hands came up to rest on Merlin’s waist. _Shit._

Merlin knew Mordred could hear how his breathing had picked up. Could sense how he wanted this. Mordred had always been the aggressor in their relationship. Had always topped. And Merlin liked that, he did. Although sometimes he’d found himself wanting to reverse the roles, and the fact that Mordred wouldn’t allow it had been part of their problem. Merlin had only fucked a man once in his life, and that had been a one night stand eons ago.

At that moment, though, none of that particularly mattered as Merlin was so hot he was willing to do just about anything to get off. Mordred prodded him toward the couch, managing to inch Merlin’s shorts down in the process. The next thing Merlin knew, the shorts were off, and he was draped over the arm of the couch. He sensed Mordred lowering himself to his knees, and Merlin’s breath accelerated even more at finding himself in this exposed position—completely nude, bent over the couch with a fully clothed man kneeling behind him. Hands parted his cheeks and Merlin sucked in a breath at the feel of a wet tongue flicking at his hole. “Oh---yeah,” he moaned against his will. The tongue lapped over him, teasing and prodding. Merlin felt himself being opened up and warm spit running into his rectum. He shivered, pumping his cock against the coarse material of the couch.

“I’ve missed you, Merlin,” Mordred said silkily, inserting a wet finger into Merlin’s ass. _Missed this, you mean,_ Merlin thought even as he groaned loudly. “You want it, don’t you? Want me to fuck you here and now? Ask me to. _Beg me_.”

And they were back to this. Mordred couldn’t have sex without making Merlin submit in some way. Another part of their problem. Merlin’s body stiffened at the words, but Mordred accelerated the slide of his finger, and Merlin found himself lost again. “Say it, Merlin.”

Merlin’s cock had taken over his thinking. “Y-yes. Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please. Oh! Please f-fuck me, Mordred. Fuck me!”

Mordred got to his feet, none too hurriedly. Merlin suspected he purposely took his time unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants, Merlin’s dick throbbing out the long seconds along with the clock on the mantel.

“You’re such a little slut, Merlin,” Mordred said, as Merlin knew he would. He inevitably did.  Merlin heard the condom wrapper opened, sweated through another long pause as Mordred sheathed himself. “A little, fucking _slut_.” Mordred emphasized the last word by slamming his dick into Merlin. Merlin let out a yelp of surprise and pain. He hadn’t been prepared properly, and fuck, it hurt! Tears sprang to his eyes, even as Mordred poked his prostate, sending a shiver of desire through Merlin’s body. His dick throbbed again. He couldn’t believe he was subjecting himself to this after he’d promised himself he wouldn’t, but _God!_ It felt so damned good. Merlin cried out as Mordred fucked him relentlessly, muttering obscenities as he was prone to do during sex. Merlin couldn’t ever remember having made love with Mordred in the way he’d always assumed two people in a relationship would do. Mordred liked it hard, fast, and dirty. Merlin’s cries grew louder as Mordred rutted him against the sofa, slamming into him so hard, Merlin knew he’d be sore for days. And then he was finished, withdrawing abruptly, leaving Merlin gasping over the couch, high and dry. As he always did unless Merlin came on his own.

Mordred staggered to the couch and sat down as Merlin straightened, his dick thick and long, as angry and red as Merlin was certain his face was at that moment. Mordred’s lips quirked at the corners. “I guess you’d like a little relief, yeah?”

Merlin bit down hard on his lip. He knew what Mordred wanted. He wanted to be begged again. He wanted Merlin to beg him to blow him. Well, Merlin wasn’t going to do it. He bent down, retrieving his shorts, and slipped them on, shame coursing through him.

“Come on, Merlin. All you have to do is ask, and you know I’ll wrap my tongue around you.”

“Get out.” Merlin said, his voice raspy.

“What?” Mordred frowned. “Come on. It’s late. I’ll stay over tonight.”

“Get OUT!” Merlin shouted. “GET OUT! OUT! OUT!” Merlin stalked over to the door and opened it, the heat of shame suffusing his face. Mordred looked about a little uncertainly before standing. 

“Well, thanks for the ride,” Mordred told him, and actually leaned in to kiss Merlin. Merlin stepped away, unable to meet his eyes. He pointed out the door, and Mordred chuckled as he walked through. Merlin closed it and slid down in a heap on the floor.


	2. Mucking It Up Some More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a visit from his ex, Merlin is filled with shame. Things don't go much better for him at work the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter.

 

 

The shrill ringing of the phone prodded Merlin out of his stupor. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting on the floor, his face pressed to his knees, but he was cold and thirsty. Carefully, he hoisted himself up and grabbed the phone.

“Hello.” _God, his voice sounded awful._

“Merlin, are you all right? You sound funny, and why haven’t you picked up your mobile? I’ve been ringing for an hour and finally tried the house phone.” Will’s voice sounded worried and more than a little freaked out.

“I—it’s just…” Merlin couldn’t finish. His brain wouldn’t function.

“I’ll be right there.” Will disconnected, and when Merlin reached to hang up the phone, he realized he was shaking. He crossed to the sink and filled up a glass with water, drinking it all down in one go. His eyes moved through the open area over the sink to the living room. And the couch. Shame and humiliation filled him again. He couldn’t believe he’d let his dick rule his head and allowed Mordred to screw him. He’d _begged for it,_ for Christ sake! Sickened, Merlin leaned over and threw up into the sink.

He’d just put the cleaner and sponge away when pounding on the door sent him to answer it. Will looked like he’d dressed in the dark—his shirt was on inside out, and he wore pajama pants and flip flops and no coat, even though it was cold outside. As soon as Merlin widened the door, he barreled in and swung Merlin around. “What the hell’s going on? You look even worse than you sounded on the phone!”

“I’m okay,” Merlin said. “You didn’t have to come all the way over here.”

“Merlin, I’ve known you forever, and you are not okay.” Will pulled Merlin into the living room, but when he tried to maneuver him onto the couch, Merlin jerked away and took the chair instead.

Merlin swallowed at his friend’s relentless stare. “How was your date?”

Will scowled. “Forget that! Tell me why you look like a zombie! You’re sitting here in your boxer shorts shivering, for Christ’s sake. Did something go wrong at work?”

Merlin shook his head. Running a hand through his dark hair, he licked his lips and summoned up his courage. He’d done something incredibly stupid and didn’t need Will’s two cents on the matter, but there was nothing for it; he knew his friend wouldn’t give up until he told him everything.

“Mordred came over tonight.”

“That fucker! What the hell did he want?”

“Sex, apparently.”

Will studied Merlin’s face. “Merlin, you didn’t…”

Merlin nodded miserably. The horrible shame he felt must have shown, because Will didn’t start yelling. “Just tell me everything.”

Merlin did, in a small voice that he was careful to keep free of emotion. When he was finished, Will’s hands were fists and the vein on the side of his neck pulsed crazily.

“I know what you’re thinking, Will,” Merlin sighed. “After what it took for me to break up with him…I never would’ve thought I’d do this. But—fuck, I haven’t been with anyone else, and after today, I was horny as hell, and he started in with the—“

Will held up a hand. “What do you mean, ‘after today’? Did they show a porn flick at work, and I missed it or something?”

Merlin shook his head, the corners of his mouth quirking. “No, idiot. I had lunch with this bloke, and he’s just so fucking gorgeous and fit, and…”

Will leaned forward. “What? But you asked me to lunch…”

“I ran into him outside the deli. Anyway, I was just hot and bothered after that, and Mordred showed up at my door wanting to ‘talk,’ and next thing I know, he’s got his hands all over me, and, well…”

“He treats you like dirt!” Will exclaimed. “I swear, Merlin, if I have to move you out of here and in with me to get you away from that sonovabitch, I will!”

“It’s not going to happen again. I told him to leave. I even did it before he got me off, which wasn’t easy! I already feel like all kinds of shite for doing what I did, so can we drop it?” Merlin stood up. “I’m sorry you had to come rushing over here in the middle of the night, with work tomorrow and all.”

“I’ll just crash here, if you don’t mind,” Will stated, slipping his shoes off and putting his legs up on the couch. “Not because I think you’ll let him back in,” he hastened to add, “but because I’m tired.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “That Morgause is a real tigress.”

“So it went well?” Merlin asked, handing him the throw from the back of the chair.

“You could say that,” Will replied smugly. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. We’ll have lunch. You sure you’re okay, Merlin?” he asked seriously. “You really gave me a scare.”

“Yeah, well. It shook me up. I’m okay, though. Goodnight, Will.”

 

The following morning Merlin was able to put on a cheerful face, mainly owing to Will and the fact that he fixed breakfast and told non-stop jokes on the commute.  When they entered the building, Merlin bought a strong coffee off the cart and parted ways with Will when he got off the lift.

“Remember, lunch!” Will called to him and Merlin held up a hand in acknowledgment as he made his way down the hall. It was early, and not many people were there yet. Freya’s purse was slung over her chair, so Merlin deduced she must be in the ladies room. He went over to his small office and turned on the light, booting up the computer and setting his briefcase on the desk. Every time his mind wandered to Mordred, he got a physical pain in his chest. He fervently wished he could turn back time and erase the past eight hours.

It didn’t help matters when a dozen red roses were delivered to him mid-morning.

“Holy fuck, who’re these from?” Gwen asked when she brought him a file from upstairs he needed to sign. Gwen was Uther Pendragon’s secretary, and one of Merlin’s few good friends from work. When they’d first met, Gwen had flirted with him shamelessly until Merlin had finally had to tell her he was gay and had a boyfriend. Gwen’s subsequent embarrassment had been painful to see, but they’d been close mates ever since. Next to Will, Gwen was the best friend Merlin had, and he really preferred talking to her about his problems since she didn’t shout at him as much as Will did.

Merlin checked the card, although he knew who they were from. “Mordred,” he said, the name sticking in his throat.

Gwen’s mouth formed an O. “But I thought he was out of the picture.”

“He was. Is. I had a minor lapse in judgment last night.”

“Oh, God. That happened to me once.” Gwen sat on the edge of Merlin’s desk. “As soon as we’d done it, I regretted it entirely.”

“I kicked him out,” Merlin said. As much as he loved Gwen and told her most everything, he never got into his and Mordred’s dysfunctional sex life. It was too embarrassing to admit that he’d allowed it to go on for so long when it had made him so terribly unhappy. Will was the only one who knew the sordid details.

“Well, that’s good, then. What’re you going to do about these flowers?”

“Throw them out?”

“Oh, but they’re too beautiful for that! Want me to take them off your hands?”

“Sure. You can have them.” Merlin made a shooing motion with his hands, and Gwen picked them up. On her way out the door, Merlin heard her greet someone. The next thing Merlin knew, Arthur was on his threshold.

“Good morning!” Arthur greeted him, looking absolutely delicious in a grey suit, crisp white shirt, and red tie.

A little annoyed at Arthur for being the reason Merlin had given into Mordred—one of the reasons, anyway—Merlin scowled at him.

“Having another one of those days, are you? But it’s Tuesday, Merlin. I thought perhaps you only hated Mondays. Most people are in bad moods on Mondays.”

“Oh, would you give it a rest?” Merlin groaned, putting his head in his hand.

“Where were those lovely flowers going?” Arthur asked instead of leaving, as Merlin thought any normal person would do after being snubbed.

“I gave them to Gwen.”

“Oh—“ Arthur paused in the first moment of real uncertainty Merlin had ever seen from him. “So, you and Gwen?”

“No! God, no. Not that she isn’t a lovely girl—“ Merlin shook his head. “Why am I explaining this to you? Can I help you with something?”

“Oh, er, yes.” Arthur came forward and handed him a file. “I was on my way downstairs and my father asked me to give these to you. They’re the quarterly reports—they were left out of the batch sent to you yesterday, evidently.”

Merlin looked down at the file. Uther Pendragon. _Father_ , Oh, God. He’d really stepped in it this time. He looked up, his face losing its color. “You mean to say that you’re Arthur _Pendragon_? Oh, my God!”

“Just Arthur will be fine,” Arthur smirked. “Really, Merlin, you don’t have to look so freaked out. I’m just a person.”

“You’re my boss! And here I’ve been horribly uncivil to you! You should warn a person, you know that? Maybe wear a sign…”

“And a bell around my neck to alert people to my presence?” Arthur asked, shaking his head in annoyance. “Really, Merlin.”

Merlin stood up. “Well, I’m, uh…sorry I’ve been rude.”

“You weren’t sorry a moment ago,” Arthur pointed out, looking put out.

“Yes, well, that was before…”

“Before you found out who I was. I know.” Arthur turned and left the office.

 Merlin fell back in his chair. Now he’d done it. Insulted his boss and annoyed the happiest man he’d ever met in one fell swoop. Could things possibly get any worse for him?


	3. A Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin takes Gwen up on a suggestion, but things go wrong. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dub-con kissing? I appreciate the readers! I've never written a Merlin fic before. This is the last part for today.

 

By the end of the week, Gwen’s cubicle in front of Uther Pendragon’s office was filled with flowers.

“Persistent, isn’t he?” she said to Merlin as she picked up the bouquet of hot house lilacs on Friday.

“I wish he would leave me alone,” Merlin groaned. “God, I am such an idiot! Why did I ever let him into the apartment?”

Gwen gave a half-smile. “Why don’t you come out with me tonight?  Several of us are going to The Griffin for drinks at half past seven.”

Merlin nodded. “Okay, I may just do that. Better than sitting at home, and I wouldn’t put it past Mordred to stop by. He’s been texting me non-stop.”

“Have you replied?” Gwen raised a brow.

“No, but I’m afraid that just makes him more determined,” Merlin said. “He’s always loved a challenge.”

After Gwen left, Merlin skipped lunch and put extra work into clearing his desk. Since he’d found out who Arthur was, he’d been trying to make a good show of it. As much as he sometimes hated his job, Merlin needed to keep it. Not that he really thought Arthur would have him fired, but every time Merlin thought of all the unpleasant things he’d said to Arthur, he cringed. The man had only been trying to be nice.

He hadn’t seen Arthur even once since they’d spoken in his office Tuesday, and Merlin was beginning to wonder if the man was avoiding him. He used to at least see him around—on the lift or across the lobby. He’d even carried the flowers upstairs a couple of times for Gwen, hoping he might spot Arthur and perhaps make amends, but his office door had been shut. His secretary, a cross-looking blonde named Vivian, had given him the evil eye every time.

Merlin managed to leave by five, go home for a shower and a bite to eat, feed his cat and throw a load of laundry in the machine, and whisk back out to make it only a few minutes late to the pub. He found Gwen at a large corner table sitting with her current boyfriend, Leon. They waved him over, and he maneuvered his way through the crowd.

“Hello, Merlin,” Leon said jovially, “it’s been a while. Glad you could join us.”

Merlin took a seat, smiling at the tall man. He thought he and Gwen made a cute couple. “Thanks, mate. I’ve been staying in a lot lately. Gwen convinced me that getting out would be a good idea.”

“I hear you’re responsible for all the flowers in her cubicle. I almost had a jealous fit when I saw them this afternoon until she explained things to me.”

Merlin made a wry face. “Well, I was going to throw them out, but she wanted them.”

“They’re beautiful!” Gwen exclaimed. “No matter whom they came from.” She leaned over and kissed Leon.

Merlin excused himself to get a drink. At the bar, he recognized the bartender-- a friend of Mordred’s, but Merlin didn’t hold that against him. Lance was everybody’s friend, really. He was the type who’d never met a stranger.

“What can I get you, Merlin?” Lance asked, and Merlin ordered a beer. He looked about the bar, catching sight of Elyan, Gwen’s younger brother, making his way over to their table. Elyan was gay, and after Merlin and Mordred broke up, Gwen tried to fix Merlin up with him, but Merlin demurred. He didn’t think dating a friend’s sibling was a very good idea.

When he returned to the table with his drink, Leon was telling a story about something that had happened on the tube. Merlin zoned out and started thinking about Arthur and how he’d said, “A frown is a damn shame on a mouth like yours.” Merlin lifted his fingers to his mouth and traced his lips. He’d never had a man comment on his mouth before, and it made him feel wanted…sexy. Raising his eyes, he was shocked to find everyone else’s eyes pinned on him.

“What?” A bloke he didn’t know had joined Elyan, and Merlin nodded his head to him in greeting. Then he looked to the right and saw Arthur standing there.

“I just said hello,” Arthur said without his usual smile.

“Oh—sorry. My mind was elsewhere. Hello, Arthur, how are you?”

Arthur rolled his eyes, and looked away. Merlin frowned.

“Join us, Arthur?” Gwen put in.

“Yeah, sure. I’m going to get a drink first.”

Merlin slid out of his chair and followed him.

“So what was the eye roll for?” Merlin asked Arthur when they’d made it to the bar.

Arthur glanced at him over his shoulder. “Are you following me?”

“Looks like it,” Merlin said. “What’s happened to the happy-go-lucky guy I used to know and---well, tolerate?”

Arthur swung around. “That’s the point—you barely tolerated me. So what’s changed?”

“You’re mad because I’m being nicer to you?” Merlin wrinkled his brow.

“That’s right!” Arthur moved back to the bar and gave Lance his order.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Merlin said, taking the stool next to where Arthur stood. “I told you I’m sorry I was being so awful…”

“Yeah, you did,” Arthur said just this side of caustic. “That’s another problem, Merlin.”

Some bloke who’d had a bit too much to drink stumbled up to the bar and into Arthur, causing him to lurch onto Merlin. Merlin steadied him by putting his hands on Arthur’s waist, heat rising to his face at the contact. Arthur righted himself quickly, but not before Merlin had experienced having his nose pressed to Arthur’s chest. It was a singularly pleasant feeling, he decided.

“You didn’t like me, Merlin. You didn’t like me until you found out I was your boss.”

Merlin gazed up at Arthur, blinking confusedly. “I liked you fine. I was just rude to you.”

“And you’re not anymore. Because of who I am.”

“Well, if you want me to be rude to you, I guess I can do that, but it’s a little weird.”

Arthur shook his head. “No, you idiot. I don’t like you being rude to me, but I _really_ don’t like you only being nice to me because of my name. I wanted to ask you out, but now I can’t because things aren’t real between us anymore.” Lance handed him his drink, and Arthur took a large gulp of it. Merlin stood.

“You wanted to ask me out?”

Arthur gave him a sideways look. “Yeah. But then you started apologizing, plus you seem to have some other admirer who likes to send you flowers…Gwen told me.” He looked down sheepishly.

“Did she tell you it’s my ex?” Merlin asked, watching Arthur relax at his words. He couldn’t believe that this handsome man was actually interested in him. Had been going to ask him out. Him. Gangly, clumsy Merlin. He put his tongue out and licked his lips, amazed to find Arthur’s eyes tracking the movement. A flush of pure desire consumed him and for a moment he couldn’t breathe.

“Anyway,” Arthur said, seeming to lose track of his thoughts. “That was…before.”

“Arthur, I’ve just been in a really awful mood lately, that’s all.” How to explain things to him without telling too much? He really didn’t want to expose himself as the doormat he was.

“Merlin!” a familiar voice beckoned him from the side. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all week!” Mordred wrapped an arm around Merlin’s waist and pulled him close. “Did you get the flowers?”

“Of course I did,” Merlin said, irritated. “And would you stop sending them already?”

Mordred looked at him with his boyishly sad eyes. “You didn’t like them? I just wanted you to know how much the other night meant to me. And the fact that you’re willing to give us another chance.”

Merlin opened his mouth to speak just as Arthur put his glass on the bar and disappeared into the crowd.

“Mordred, I have no intention of getting back with you!” Merlin denied heatedly.

“You could have fooled me, the way you _begged_ me for it…” Mordred tugged Merlin closer.

“Get _off_ me!” Merlin pushed him away, heading back to Gwen and the others. He heard Mordred laughing behind him.

“Where did Arthur go?” Merlin asked when he reached the table.

“We haven’t seen him,” Gwen said. “What’s going on between you two, anyway? He asked me about the flowers yesterday, and when I told him they were yours, he got the strangest look on his face.”

“I don’t know,” Merlin sighed, running his hand through his hair and making it stand on end. “Honestly, I really haven’t a clue.”

“Is that Mordred over at the bar?” Leon asked, his arm wrapped about Gwen’s shoulders.

“Yes. He seems to think I want to get back with him,” Merlin said, drinking his beer and looking about the room for a certain blond head without any success.

Gwen looked affronted. “I hope you told him otherwise!”

“Of course I did!” Merlin said.

Will appeared out of the crowd, a tall woman on his arm. “Fancy meeting you lot here!” he said. “Everyone, this is Morgause. Morgause, this is Leon, Elyan, Brad, is it? And Gwen. Oh, and my very best mate, Merlin.”

Morgause looked as if she wanted to chew them all up and spit them out, but she managed a smile. Merlin wondered what exactly Will saw in her. She was attractive; there was no doubt about that, but she was sorely lacking in people skills. Catching his friend staring down the woman’s top, he supposed Will wasn’t really into her for the conversation. The two of them sat down. When Merlin’s beer ran out, he got up to get another, scanning the room again for Arthur. His heart sank when he realized that he’d probably left. He decided to have a smoke before another drink and detoured out a side door and into the alley. Shivering a little at the cold wind, Merlin fished his cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one in the cup of his hand.

“I’ve told you that’s a rotten habit,” Mordred’s voice came from the doorway, along with the noise from the crowd within.

“Would you leave me alone?” Merlin asked, exasperated.

“I will when you agree to come have a drink with me,” Mordred said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall. “We haven’t had that talk I’ve been wanting to have.”

“We don’t need to talk. Mordred, what happened Monday night was a mistake. I don’t want to get back with you.”

“I don’t think you’ve thought things through,” Mordred told him. “We’re good together.”

Merlin took a drag off his cigarette, welcoming the nicotine into his system in hopes of calming his nerves. “That’s just it, Mordred. We aren’t. I don’t like the way I feel when I’m around you. I don’t like the way you make me feel.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Mordred drawled, and Merlin pulled himself up straight.

“I don’t want to see you again,” he said firmly.

Mordred unfolded himself from the wall and moved toward Merlin, placing a hand on the brick wall on each side of Merlin’s head. “I’ll decide when we’re over.” He darted forward and pressed his lips to Merlin’s mouth. Merlin dropped his cigarette and tried to get his hands in between them to push Mordred away, but the other man had him pinned up against the building, his lips grinding into his, although Merlin refused to open his mouth to him. Grabbing Mordred’s shoulders, he tried to push him off.

“I don’t think Merlin appreciates your advances,” a steely cold voice said from over Mordred’s shoulder.

Mordred pulled away, and Merlin took a deep breath, shocked to see Arthur standing there in the alley with them. He gave Mordred a shove. “Damn right, I don’t!”

“Who are you, and what business is this of yours?” Mordred asked cooly.

“I suggest you leave,” Arthur told him, not giving up his menacing stance. He looked as though he was ready to throw Mordred into the dumpster, and Merlin didn’t doubt that he could.

Mordred’s expression suddenly changed from pugnacious to conciliatory. “This is between me and my boyfriend, mate. No need to worry—Merlin’s always a bit grouchy when he’s had a drink, aren’t you, love?”

Merlin bristled at the pet name. In all their time together, Mordred had never called him anything affectionate. “Bite me, Mordred,” he said through clenched teeth.

“If you ask nicely,” Mordred said, leaning toward him. He was immediately jerked backward, and the next thing Merlin knew, Arthur had Mordred’s face pinned to the wall.

“I told you to get lost,” Arthur said against Mordred’s ear. “Now, are you going to do so, or am I going to have to help you?”

Several long seconds ticked by while various expressions flitted over Mordred’s face. Finally he gave a short nod, and Arthur let him go.

“I’ll talk to you soon, Merlin,” he promised before walking away.

Merlin had no doubt he would.


	4. The Weekend Comes Before Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin goes to The Griffin and stuff ensues.

The next few minutes were very awkward, with Merlin stammering his thanks and Arthur refusing to meet his eyes.

“So that’s your ex,” Arthur finally said, staring at the ground.

“Yeah. Mordred.”

“He doesn’t take no for an answer, does he?” Arthur stated unnecessarily.

“Not if he’s set his mind on something, no,” Merlin answered. “I appreciate your help—really. He wasn’t going to let up.”

“Don’t mention it.” Arthur turned to leave.

“Arthur—“ Merlin’s pulse raced.

Arthur stopped but didn’t turn around.

Merlin licked his lips. He didn’t know what to say, only that he didn’t want Arthur to leave.

“Um, well, thanks again.”

Arthur nodded his head and walked away.

Merlin went home, after telling Gwen he had a headache. He spent the weekend holed up in his flat reading and avoiding phone calls, although he did pick up when Will rang, knowing his friend would just come over if he didn’t.

“Shit, Morgause is so fucking _hot_ , Merlin! You couldn’t believe what she can do with her tongue!”

Merlin wrinkled his nose. “I can do without hearing, thanks.”

“You’re just jealous!” Will scoffed.

“Will, I like men, remember?”

“Yeah, but you’d like one of them to have a tongue as talented as Morgause’s, I’ll bet.”

“Touché.”

“What was up with you and Mordred at the bar?” Will asked.

Merlin sighed. “He was being a bit of a prick. Cornered me in the alley when I went out for a smoke.”

“The douche bag. How’d you get rid of him?”

“I don’t know that I could’ve. Arthur came along and chased him away.”

“Arthur?”

“Pendragon. He’s the fit bloke I was telling you about before. The reason I’m a walking, talking hard-on lately.” Merlin pulled at a thread on the couch cushion.

“What? The bosses’ son? Oh, my God!”

“Well, I didn’t know that part until recently. And I seem to have gotten on his bad side.”

“Merlin, you really beat all, you know that?” Will huffed. “You date Mordred the Manipulator for two solid years, and the first bloke you’re interested in after the break up is a Pendragon. Can’t you just settle for someone mundane?”

“Evidently not.”

“Well, good luck with that, mate.”

Merlin arrived late to work on Monday-- because nothing ever went right for him on that day of the week-- hoping no one important had noticed. Cenred was playing Angry Birds again, and Merlin knew that as office manager he should say something to him, but it just wasn’t in him to do it. As he poured his coffee in the lounge, he wondered why he was even in a managerial job. His degree was in art, and that’s what he really wanted to do. What had happened to all the plans he’d made after uni? Leaning against the counter and sipping his coffee, he tried to think it through, but he was soon interrupted by three co-workers and their empty coffee mugs.

Merlin returned to his office and looked through his emails, valiantly not allowing his thoughts to wander to the night before and how Arthur had come to his aid.

How damn hot it had been to see him throw Mordred up against the wall.

He felt someone’s presence and looked up, surprised to find Arthur standing in his doorway, a Starbucks cup in his hands.

“I brought you some sugary coffee,” he told Merlin with a smile.

Merlin sat up straighter in his chair. “I was afraid I’d permanently wiped the smile from your face, but there it is.”

“Yeah, well, I thought about it and figured you’re just sorely lacking in social skills, and it’s my job as a member of the human race to teach you some.” Arthur came forward and handed Merlin the coffee. “To sweeten you up a bit.”

Merlin grinned. “Are you going to tell me how many cups of Starbucks are sold on a Monday? Or perhaps how many employees are fired for being a wanker to their boss?”

Arthur tilted his head and smiled softly. “I like it when you smile. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you do it before.”

Merlin blushed. “Come on, I’m not that bad, am I?”

“On Mondays you are. I’ve been watching you for a while now.”

Pleasure pooled in Merlin’s chest, and he took a sip of the coffee, licking whipped cream off his upper lip and watching Arthur watch him do it. “So, um, since you’re smiling at me again…does this mean you’re reconsidering asking me out?” His heart was hammering so loudly in his ears, he hoped he’d be able to hear Arthur’s reply.

Arthur hadn’t taken his eyes off Merlin’s lips, and Merlin felt himself break out in a sweat.

“Will you go out with me, Merlin?” he finally asked, raising his eyes to meet Merlin’s.

Merlin leaned back in his chair, considering.  He shook his head. “No, I don’t fancy it.”

Arthur’s mouth opened in surprise before he realized Merlin was teasing. His ensuing smile was huge. “You really are a wanker!”

Merlin laughed. “Just didn’t want your head to get any bigger than it already is. Okay, when would you like to go out?”

“Saturday night? I’ll pick you up.”

Merlin proceeded to give Arthur his address. Arthur’s phone vibrated, he looked at it, and announced he was late for a meeting. Merlin watched him leave, feeling his knees go watery. How was he going to get through the week?

As it happened, it was relatively easy because two computers went on the fritz and work began backing up. Merlin put in three late nights at the office, and barely saw Arthur. He received an email from him telling Merlin to dress casually and that Arthur would pick him up at six. Every time Merlin thought about it, he got light-headed and giddy. About mid-week he ended up in a crowded elevator with Arthur standing several people in front of him, and Merlin found his eyes pinned to Arthur’s ass, which was deliciously visible due to the fact that Arthur had taken off his suit coat. It was a delectably round ass—rather reminiscent of an apple.

One that Merlin would dearly love to take a bite out of.

When Arthur exited the lift, he turned and gave Merlin a look so scorching, Merlin was sure he somehow knew what he’d been thinking.

Finally Saturday arrived and Merlin took two hours dressing. He called Will twice and Gwen three times, consulting them on what he should wear. Gwen thought Merlin looked best in blue, but Will told him to wear red. He finally settled on a blue shirt with a red jumper and his most form-fitting jeans.

Arthur was right on time. He stood in the foyer stroking Lolly while Merlin turned lights off in his flat, leaving the dim desk lamp on.

“Ready to go?” Merlin asked, returning to his side. Arthur smiled.

“There’s something I want to do first.”

Before Merlin could ask what, Arthur leaned in and took his mouth in a succulent kiss that had Merlin’s toes curling in his shoes. Nothing felt quite like Arthur’s warm hand on Merlin’s jaw and his even warmer mouth moving over his lips. Merlin brought his hands to Arthur’s waist and held on.

“Wow,” he said when they’d parted. “What was that for?”

“That’s so we can enjoy our evening rather than wondering what the goodnight kiss will be like,” Arthur replied with a wink. He walked ahead of Merlin out into the hall, and Merlin tried not to stare too long at his retreating ass.

 


	5. A Night to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur have a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sex. a lot of it.  
> Thanks for the comments and the kudos! I've really appreciated them.

Arthur was gorgeous in jeans. Of course, Merlin thought he was gorgeous in everything, and he was positive he’d be even more gorgeous in _nothing_ —this train of thought made it difficult for Merlin to keep his mind on conversation. Trouble was, Arthur smelled almost as good as he looked. And the entire cab ride, Arthur’s thigh against Merlin’s felt like it was burning a hole through his pants. Merlin had to think about his uncle Gaius naked just to keep it together.

 They went to a movie—some foreign film with subtitles. All Merlin could think about was how Arthur’s hand felt in his and the way he was playing with Merlin’s fingers. Arthur’s hand was warm and dry, the skin just above his knuckles soft as a baby’s bum. Merlin wanted to kiss it. He wished they were somewhere alone, and he wondered if Arthur was really paying attention to the movie, because Merlin sure wasn’t.

“Did you like it?” Arthur asked when they escaped the dark theater and walked out into the night air.

“Er, yeah?” Merlin blushed crimson. He couldn’t have come up with the plot at gunpoint. Suddenly, Arthur laughed.

“Sounds like you were paying about as much attention as I was.” He smiled at Merlin, who grinned back. They headed to a diner and ordered burgers and chips and milkshakes, conversation suddenly coming much easier. Merlin found himself telling Arthur about his art major and how he wanted to do something with it but didn’t know what. Arthur told him about how he’d like to own a farm out in the country and raise horses.

“Really? I didn’t take you for a cowboy,” Merlin said, surprised.

“There’s nothing like a good, long ride,” Arthur said, then seemed to replay his words in his head, turning pink. He’d provided Merlin with a mental picture he wouldn’t soon be able to get out of his  mind, and before he knew it, Merlin found himself initiating a round of eye sex with Arthur that threatened to set the booth on fire. When the waitress came to refill their water glasses, she glanced at the two of them and almost dropped the pitcher.

Abruptly, Arthur paid the bill and ushered Merlin out of the diner.

“Mine?” he asked hoarsely, and Merlin nodded.

The cab ride to Arthur’s flat consisted of the two of them sitting side by side trying to control their breathing while the cabby made inane conversation. Merlin placed his hand on Arthur’s thigh and rubbed it gently, his pulse quickening when Arthur’s breath caught in his throat. Merlin could see the distinct outline of Arthur’s cock through his jeans, long and thick. Boldly, he slid his hand down and back until his palm touched the tip. Arthur gasped, and the sound filled Merlin with a heady sense of power. By the time the cab pulled up to the curb, Arthur looked wrecked.

Merlin paid the fare while Arthur was still trying to master eye-hand coordination with his wallet, and they climbed out onto the sidewalk. Arthur yanked Merlin by the arm and into the building, through the lobby, his finger stabbing impatiently at the lift button. Merlin noticed with a kind of satisfaction that more than once he missed it entirely.

Not that Merlin wasn’t just as wrecked as Arthur, but he’d never experienced the thrill of having power over someone before; it filled him with confidence and brought a new level of desire to his loins.

When the doors opened, Arthur shoved Merlin inside, making him forget momentarily that he had any control at all. And perhaps that was the draw, he considered with the tiny part of his brain that was still functioning as Arthur cornered him in the lift. With Arthur, he was able to be both yielding and controlling. An equal partnership. It made Merlin a bit emotionally vulnerable, which was scary, to say the least, after his recent long-term relationship with Mordred.

“God, Merlin!” Arthur exclaimed as the doors slid shut. He pulled Merlin into a filthy kiss. “This—this isn’t how I planned our first time…”

“You planned our first time?” Merlin grinned into the kiss. _Go_ d, Arthur’s tongue was soft, hot, and _amazing_! He tasted so good. Smelled so good. Felt so good…Merlin’s thoughts were quickly short-circuiting.

“Maybe a little,” Arthur chuffed, running his hands over Merlin’s back. “Okay, a lot. I wanted it to be special.”

“It will be,” Merlin promised, cupping Arthur’s cheek with his hand, amazed at –fuck, _everything_. He thought he could write sonnets about the feel of Arthur’s skin, and he was shite at poetry. Merlin kissed the corner of Arthur’s mouth, pleased at the vulnerable look that passed over his features at the gesture. The doors opened, and Arthur took Merlin’s hand, leading him down the hall. The apartment building was nicer than Merlin’s, although Merlin’s was comfortable. The carpeting in the hall was so soft, their footsteps didn’t make any sound as they hurried along to the far end where Arthur stopped. Merlin fidgeted as Arthur got his door unlocked and opened.

The inside of Arthur’s flat wasn’t at all what Merlin expected. He’d been imagining austere and understated, and what he got was cozy and comfortable. The walls of the living area were painted a deep red, and there were bookshelves full of books, and a colorful throw over a sofa that looked comfortable enough to sleep on, unlike Merlin’s old couch that only Will was brave enough to use for a night. One time he’d spent three nights on it and gone home with a crick in his neck that had lasted a week.

Behind the sofa was a huge window that took up most of the wall. London lay before them twinkling with lights.

“God, Arthur…what a view!” Merlin breathed.

“I only have eyes for you,” Arthur said, then winced. “Shit, that was corny.”

Merlin laughed. “A bit.” He turned and let his eyes wander over the man standing before him. “This view’s pretty hot, too.” He reached out and flicked the first few buttons of Arthur’s white shirt open, revealing a sprinkling of hair over pectorals to die for. He ran his fingers over them, and Arthur shuddered. Emboldened, Merlin undid the rest of the buttons, pulling Arthur’s shirt from his jeans. Stepping forward, he pressed his mouth to Arthur’s neck, tasting him. A groan escaped his lips as they met with soft skin, and Arthur answered with his own, along with an involuntary jerk of his hips. Merlin smiled.

“I think you enjoy torturing me,” Arthur remarked, running a hand through Merlin’s hair so softly that Merlin’s heart squeezed in his chest.

In answer, Merlin got down on his knees in front of Arthur and undid his jeans. He heard Arthur suck in a breath, felt him tremble against his arm as Merlin eased his zipper down. He placed a kiss just above the waistband of Arthur’s briefs before tugging them down, taking his jeans with them to mid-thigh.

Arthur’s cock was gorgeous—cut and thick and long, just the way Merlin imagined it would be. And he had imagined it; a moment just like this with him on his knees and Arthur at his mercy. Merlin felt like a kid on Christmas morning, unsure which gift to open first. He reached around with both hands and cupped Arthur’s ass…Fuck, it really was like an apple. Or a peach—a luscious, mouth-watering peach. He pressed his face at the juncture between Arthur’s thigh and groin, breathing him in. He smelled wonderful. Arthur’s hands were in his hair, soft and gentle. Merlin didn’t want to think of Mordred at that moment, but he couldn’t help note the difference. Merlin only ever went down on Mordred when Mordred wanted him to. He was never permitted to take the initiative. And Mordred’s hands had never felt like this when he did—caressing, gently directing.  Mordred’s always demanded, pushed. Sometimes Mordred would take the palm of his hand and push Merlin’s mouth down to the base of his cock, gagging him, bucking into him and smiling when Merlin’s eyes watered.

Merlin continued to squeeze and pet Arthur’s arse cheeks as he moved his face along his thigh. Arthur didn’t say a word, only continued to breathe like a horse after a race. Gently, Merlin nudged him back so that Arthur’s knees hit the edge of the over-stuffed chair behind him, and he abruptly sat. Merlin looked up at him. Arthur’s eyes were wide with need, a deeper blue than Merlin had ever seen. Merlin removed Arthur’s shoes and tugged his pants all the way off, pushing his legs open. Merlin knelt between them and lowered his lips to Arthur’s cock, aware of the other man’s gaze glued to his every move. Remembering Arthur’s fixation with his mouth, Merlin licked his lips before bestowing the head with a chaste kiss that brought a gasp and a jerk out of Arthur, along with a dribble of pre-cum. Merlin stuck his tongue out and licked it up. This proved to be too much for Arthur; he squeezed his eyes shut, leaned his head back, and let out a long, shuddering moan. Merlin took that as his cue and eased his mouth down, suckling on Arthur’s throbbing prick.

“Oh, oh, _fuck_ , Merlin!” Arthur sighed, his hips stuttering.

Merlin ran his hands over Arthur’s legs, his thumbs caressing his inner thighs as he bobbed over him, doing everything he’d ever wanted to do to a man but had never had the opportunity, using his tongue and lips to give him pleasure until Arthur was almost sobbing with the need to come.

Taking his mouth off for a moment, Merlin turned his attention to Arthur’s tight sack, licking and sucking it, feeling Arthur’s legs tense beneath his hands. He returned to Arthur’s cock and sucked it in again, pulling it toward his throat, and Arthur came with a shout that hurt Merlin’s ears with its volume and intensity.

Sitting up, Merlin made a grab for his own cock, pulling it out of his jeans and squeezing it tightly. He knew his own eyes were blown with desire and need, and when they met Arthur’s, Arthur jerked him up and forward by the shirt, kissing him passionately while his hand pushed away Merlin’s. He caressed him until Merlin exploded, his cries drowned in Arthur’s mouth.

“What do you say we take this into the bedroom?” Arthur asked into Merlin’s hair.

“Good idea. As soon as my legs are working again,” Merlin groaned into Arthur’s shoulder. He felt Arthur smile.

“That was really something,” Arthur said, kissing Merlin on the head.

“I’ll say.”

“You have a really talented mouth.” Arthur ran his hand down Merlin’s back. “What I’d really like is to get your clothes off and feel you against me.”

Merlin raised his head. “That sounds fantastic.” He grinned. They shared a languid, wet kiss before helping one another up and walking to the bedroom. Arthur was already nude except for this open shirt and his socks. He finished stripping while Merlin watched hungrily, fumbling clumsily with his own jeans.

“Hurry, Merlin,” Arthur said, reclining on the large bed. Merlin’s mouth went dry at the sight. He hurriedly kicked away his shoes, pants, and boxers, pulled his jumper and shirt over his head in one go, and stripped his socks off, never once taking his eyes from Arthur. Crawling up on the bed beside him, he pulled Arthur to him, kissing him deeply. Arthur’s skin against his sparked his desire, and Merlin wrapped a leg around him, pulling him even closer.

“Merlin…”Arthur moaned, sliding against him. Merlin kissed him deeply, flicking his tongue in and out of his mouth. “Oh God, Merlin…I want you inside me.”

Merlin stopped and looked at Arthur, eyes wide. “You do?”

“Is that a problem?” Arthur asked, suddenly uncertain.

“No, no…not a problem. So you like to bottom, then?”

Arthur watched him. “I like to do both, I guess. I just—well, I just really want you to fuck me, that’s all. Don’t you want to?”

Merlin nodded slowly, suddenly  unable to form words. He pulled Arthur into another kiss, his mouth hungrily exploring while his hands moved down his body, gliding over his ribs and the planes of his back, touching him everywhere he could reach. After several moments of wet sucking and heavy breathing, Arthur pulled away and moved toward the nightstand, returning seconds later with a bottle of lubricant and some condoms. Merlin took it from him, watching as Arthur lay down in the middle of the bed. Merlin kissed him again, and then let his mouth trail down Arthur’s neck, nibbling and sucking. Arthur was half hard again, and Merlin was, too. He took one of Arthur’s pink nipples into his mouth and sucked on it, loving the way Arthur squirmed beneath him when he did it. After a few moments, Merlin wet his fingers and reached between Arthur’s legs, circling his anus. Arthur trembled then made an incredibly sexy noise when Merlin slipped a finger inside him.

“Oh, God…”

Merlin began to fuck him with his finger, watching Arthur’s face change as desire overwhelmed him.   Merlin added another finger and kissed Arthur, his tongue mirroring the movement of his fingers inside him.  “Now, Merlin!” Arthur pleaded, and Merlin hastened to get the condom on and lubricate himself. He got up on his knees, pulling Arthur’s legs onto his shoulders, and positioned himself. Meeting Arthur’s eyes, he eased inside of him.

It felt incredible. Hot, tight, so slick. Merlin took a deep breath and smoothed his hands over Arthur’s calves.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah. So good… Go on…”

Merlin began to pump, sensation driving him on.  Having this man succumb to him overwhelmed Merlin with feelings he couldn’t take the time to examine right then. Arthur writhing beneath him, making noises in his throat that were so fucking sexy, tightened Merlin’s balls and hardened his dick to a steel pole, and he was desperate for release. He looked at Arthur’s face -- so beautiful, Merlin found himself unable to look away—completely entranced.

Merlin sped up and Arthur called out to him to do it harder, please do it harder, grasping the bed sheets with his fingers. Sweat beaded on Arthur’s chest, and Merlin watched it trickle down over his ribs. He could feel his own perspiration glistening over his body as he pulled almost all the way out and then thrust in, hard. Merlin was inside Arthur and it felt bloody _brilliant_ , but he was still being careful not to hurt him. Merlin leaned down, pressing his lips to Arthur’s while he continued pumping into him with shallow thrusts of his hips that made Arthur whimper into his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful,” Arthur told him when Merlin gradually released his lips, Arthur’s face soft with wonder. Merlin felt his nose burn with imminent tears. Panting with his need to come, he watched Arthur’s eyes cloud over and his mouth drop open. Arthur’s body tightened around Merlin, squeezing his cock within its smooth walls and setting off an explosion of bliss throughout Merlin’s body. He shouted out Arthur’s name, coming so hard and so strong he felt dizzy with it.

When Merlin gently withdrew from Arthur, he rolled to the side, his chest heaving from exertion. He turned his head and looked at Arthur—his blond hair plastered to his head with sweat and his blue eyes dazed and dreamy. Merlin’s heart stuttered in his chest at the sight, and he closed his eyes, overcome with feeling.

Merlin was still in a sexual haze, but Arthur’s breathing  had evened out in sleep.  Merlin stared at the ceiling, wondering at what had just happened to him. He’d never enjoyed sex so much as he had with Arthur. He’d never felt such a connection, or been so overcome. It had been a surprise to have Arthur ask him to top, and Merlin had loved it. He suspected he would love being taken by Arthur just as much. The very thought made him tingle.

A buzz from the floor made Merlin sit up in bed. It was a text message alert from his phone. Merlin considered ignoring it, but then there was always the off chance that Will or Gwen might really need him. Will had once been stranded on the other side of town without money and had to walk home because Merlin hadn’t looked at his messages. He got out of bed, careful not to disturb Arthur, although he appeared to be out for the count.

Fumbling in his jeans, Merlin drew out his mobile and looked at the screen. Another text from Mordred, asking to see him. Merlin hadn’t been answering Mordred’s countless text messages since the night at the bar, but this time he did.

**Bugger off. It’s over, Mordred. I’ve found someone else.**

Perhaps that would finally get rid of him. With a smile, Merlin returned to the bed, pulling the sheet up over himself and Arthur, nuzzling close.


	6. Growing Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin thinks things through.

 

Merlin awakened to the scent of bacon frying. He’d slept well, although he’d never been completely unaware of the man beside him or forgetful of the fact he wasn’t in his own bed. He enjoyed sleeping next to Arthur. He was a cuddler-- that was for certain, pulling Merlin close every chance he got. It made Merlin feel cherished and wanted.

There was something very sweet about Arthur Pendragon.

Merlin rose and took a shower, finding a new toothbrush and a clean towel waiting for him by the sink. The shower stall was roomy with a built-in seat that gave Merlin all kinds of X-rated ideas. In the kitchen, Arthur was dishing food onto two plates.

“Wow, you cook, too?” Merlin exclaimed.

“You mean added to my amazing sexual prowess?” Arthur asked with a smirk.

“That’s exactly what I meant,” Merlin smiled. “I believe in giving credit where credit is due.”

Arthur leaned in for a kiss. “You aren’t so bad yourself,” he told him earnestly before sucking Merlin’s bottom lip between his, making Merlin breathless and a little weak.

They tucked into their breakfast, discussing bits of the newspaper and passing sections of it back and forth.

“I’ve promised to help Will fix his garbage disposal,” Merlin said when he’d washed up the dishes. The act of doing so while Arthur read the newspaper at the table felt oddly domestic for a first date, but he pushed the thought away that they might be moving too fast. He was sure it wasn’t the first time Arthur had had a bloke stay overnight, and he probably always cooked breakfast for them before they left. He turned to look at Arthur, who stood folding up the newspaper and looking a bit disappointed.

“I had a great time,” Merlin added, not wanting Arthur to think he hadn’t.

“So this is the old heave ho?” Arthur asked, deep blue eyes teasing, yet disconcertingly veiled.

“No,” Merlin laughed, pulling Arthur close and kissing him thoroughly, relieved when Arthur responded. “I hope to see you again. Outside the office, I mean.”

“You’ll have to ask me out, then,” Arthur told him, kissing his ear. Merlin shuddered. His ears were very sensitive.

“I’ll do that,” Merlin promised, and kissed him again before leaving.

Will spent the afternoon sitting cross-legged on his kitchen floor watching Merlin work under the sink and drilling him about his date with Arthur.

“Tell me again what you texted Mordred the Mongrel,” Will demanded.

“Christ, Will, I told him to bugger off! And now I’m telling you the same, because I’m sick of saying it over and over again.”

“It just made me so damn happy,” Will said with a dramatic sniffle. “Question is-- will he leave you alone now?”

“I think so,” Merlin replied, grabbing a wrench. “He has his pride, after all. He’s not going to let Arthur see him practically beg me to come back.”

“Oh, is that what he was doing?” Will teased. “I could’ve sworn he was seducing you back.”

“Shut up.”

“And aren’t you moving a bit quickly with this Pendragon fellow? Honestly, Merlin, you went from your mother to Mordred;  do you have to find another caretaker so fast?”

Merlin almost bumped his head crawling out from under the sink. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

Will stared at him seriously. “Isn’t it?”

Merlin looked down at his hands. “I don’t mean it to be. But fuck…I didn’t know it could be so…different.”

“What do you mean?” Will asked, and Merlin glanced at him to make sure he wasn’t making fun before he answered.

“Just—well, I’ve given you an idea of what Mordred was like. With Arthur it was much more give and take. He wasn’t so demanding. He was—sweet.” Merlin blushed. “Considerate. Loving. And I don’t mean only in the bedroom.”

“Be careful, mate,” Will warned. “He sounds great and all, but he’s not the only one out there that knows how to have a mature relationship. Don’t rush into things and fall in love.”

“I’m not falling in love, you wanker,” Merlin denied, although he wasn’t so sure about that. The thought scared him. “I’ve just gotten out of a long relationship. I’m not looking for another one.”

“Uh, huh.” Will said, getting to his feet and flipping the switch to the disposal. When it roared to life, he grinned. “Brilliant!”

Merlin stood. “You can pay me later with a drink. I’m going home—I’m knackered. Didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night.”

“Rub it in, why don’t you?” Will complained. “Morgause is out of town.”

“So, you two are an item?” Merlin asked, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel.

“Sort of. As much of an item as she can be with anyone. I don’t think she’s the type to settle down with any one person.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Merlin put a hand on Will’s shoulder.

“Definitely. I’m going to play the field just as you are.” He grabbed Merlin’s arm as he headed out the door. “Do you mean it about not getting serious?”

“Yeah, Will,” Merlin rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why you think I’m looking for a caretaker when I have you.”

Will grinned. “True, that. But listen…remember I mentioned my friend I could fix you up with? How about it?”

Merlin frowned. He’d had a pretty intense night with Arthur, but it was just one date. Truth be told, he really didn’t want to see anyone else, but hadn’t he just promised Will…promised himself…that he’d take things slow? Keep his options open?

“God, Will,” he ran a hand through his hair.

“Come on! You act like dating is some kind of hardship. It’s meant to be fun! The guy’s real nice, I promise. Let me set you up for Friday night, yeah?”

Merlin cringed. “O’kay. But if he’s some kind of nutter, you’ll pay for this.”

Will grinned. “He’s not. You’ll like him. In fact, I’m sure you’d call him very sweet.”

Merlin felt odd making a date after his night with Arthur but told himself that now he was available, he needed to see what was out there. Truth be told, he shouldn’t have jumped in bed with Arthur on the very first date, but their attraction had been so great it was inevitable. He wondered if perhaps now his dick would settle down when the man was around.

Will had said that Arthur was just an example of what normal relationships were. If that was true, Merlin couldn’t let himself fall for the first bloke who showed him some consideration and attention. He owed it to himself to keep his mind and heart open.

When Merlin entered his flat, confusion and the need not to think for a while sent him into cleaning mode. He got out all the supplies from the bathroom closet and started scrubbing, music from his iPod turned on full blast. He scrubbed the shower and mopped the bathroom floor before turning to the kitchen. Two hours later, when his flat sparkled and there was nothing else to be done, Merlin pulled off his clothes and took a long shower. Making a sandwich and taking it to bed (something Mordred had never allowed him to do) with a good book, he picked up his phone and scrolled through his messages.

The first one was from Arthur and made him smile.

**Thinking about u. Bed is lonely and sad.**

Merlin texted back.

**Tell bed I miss him, too.**

Merlin looked at his other messages.

Gwen’s said,

**How did the date go?**

Another was from Will.

**Thx again 4 ur help. Will buy u that drink soon.**

The final one was from Mordred.

**WE NEED 2 TALK.**

Merlin assumed from the all caps that Mordred was put out by his last text to him telling him he had found someone else and to bugger off. He sighed, wondering if he should ignore him. He asked himself honestly if everything had truly been said between himself and Mordred. They’d had a huge fight the day they’d broken up—Merlin had kicked Mordred out, since the flat had been Merlin’s to begin with. There had been a lot of yelling and gnashing of teeth. But he and Mordred hadn’t talked about exactly why Merlin was fed up, and he wondered now if he owed that to him. All of the bitterness had built up within Merlin for a long time, but maybe it had all come as a big surprise to Mordred. Why else would he have been trying so hard to get back with Merlin, unless he really thought he had a chance? Perhaps he needed some closure.

There was no way that Merlin would have him back to the apartment after what happened the last time. It wasn’t that Merlin didn’t trust himself around him—he knew he wouldn’t suffer a weak moment again. But he felt their meeting should be somewhere neutral. Before he could change his mind, he hit reply and sent Mordred a message.

**Ok I guess I o u that much. Meet me 2morrow 6PM @ The Griffin.**

He sighed and put the phone on the nightstand. It vibrated before he swallowed his first bite of sandwich.

The message was from Arthur.

**Bed sends his love. ‘night.**

Merlin smiled, wondering if he should text back. He decided not to, since he didn’t want to give Arthur the idea that he was hung up on him after one night.  He turned to his book.

Monday, for once, didn’t seem all that bad. In fact, everything seemed better to Merlin when he got to work that day. Cenred was actually studying a report on his desk. Freya seemed to be logged in correctly on her computer, too, and Bors, Kathy, and the others were all there and accounted for. Merlin even found himself humming a tune as he entered his office, which earned him more than one odd glance and raised brow behind his back from the others.

The morning slipped away quickly as Merlin took care of several projects that had been lingering on his to do list. He was frankly amazed at how much work he got done when his outlook wasn’t sour, although he wouldn’t admit to that on pain of torture, particularly to perpetually cheerful Arthur. When lunch time rolled around, Arthur showed up at his door with his Monday smile in place.

“I’d ask you out to lunch, but I promised myself you’d have to issue the next invitation,” he told Merlin, leaning casually against the doorframe and looking very appetizing in a dark suit. Merlin’s dick perked up, telling him that Saturday night hadn’t calmed it a bit.

“Well, in that case,” Merlin closed his desk drawer and stood. A lunch date was harmless enough, and he found himself really wanting to spend time with Arthur. “Would you like to have lunch with me?”

Arthur’s smile grew larger and brighter. “I’d love to.”

Merlin chose a Greek place around the corner from their office building, and since it was a beautiful day, they ate outside.

“I could smell you on my sheets last night, Merlin,” Arthur confided as they basked in the sunshine.

“Did you have to strip the bed?” Merlin asked, and Arthur laughed.

“It was a good thing, twit,” he told him. “I slept like the dead.”

Merlin studied him for a moment before bursting out laughing. He shook his head. “You are going to have to work on your lines, Pendragon,” he told him.

“Oh, so now I’m Pendragon?” Arthur teased. He leaned closer to Merlin. “Would you think me terribly forward if I asked you over tonight?”

Merlin considered, taking a bite of pita dipped in tzatziki.  It was a bit fast, but oh-so-tempting. He thought about rolling around in that big bed again with Arthur and felt his groin tighten. His heart, too, if he was being honest. Fortunately, he had an excuse. “Sorry to say, I can’t. I’m meeting someone…my ex, actually.”

Arthur sat back in his chair. “That dick that was being so persistent at The Griffin?”

Merlin nodded. “I told you he’s been bothering me to talk to him, and I think I should do it. I owe him some kind of an explanation for ending things the way I did. He’s an arse, but he’s also kind of thick when it comes to relationships. It occurred to me that perhaps he doesn’t understand my feelings and I should explain.”

Arthur looked away. “And if he does understand?”

Merlin shrugged. “Well, then it’s all good.”

“You’ll get back with him then?”

Merlin started. “God, no!” He shook his head. “Arthur, there is nothing that could convince me to get back with Mordred.”

Arthur met his gaze for a long moment. Reassured, he nodded and took a sip of his drink. “Be careful, Merlin. I’ve known men like your Mordred. They don’t play nice.”

“He’s not _my_ Mordred. Not anymore, anyway.”

They continued eating, and Merlin wondered if he should say something about the two of them. Arthur seemed to want to pursue the relationship, but Merlin didn’t know exactly what that meant. Before he’d figured out exactly how to bring it up, they were out of time and heading back to the office.

Merlin was late to see Mordred because of a last minute phone call, and his heart was beating fast when he entered the pub. Mordred was adamant about punctuality. Merlin found him waiting at a back table, his face dark, but as soon as he spotted Merlin, his expression changed to one of pleased relief. Merlin realized Mordred had thought he wouldn’t show and was perversely pleased.

“Merlin,” Mordred smiled boyishly as Merlin sat down. “I took the liberty of ordering your drink.”

“Thanks,” Merlin said, tempted to order something different just to be mean. He took a sip of the martini. “Sorry I’m late—work was a bitch.”

Mordred nodded. “I’m glad you’re finally giving us a chance to clear things up.”

Merlin looked at Mordred steadily. “I want you to know from the onset here that I am not getting back with you, Mordred. I just felt I owed you an explanation.”

Mordred frowned, but didn’t reply.

“I’ve been thinking  a lot about it.” Merlin licked his lips, contemplating. “We got together too fast…I had only been with a handful of men before I met you. And just never got to…well, to stretch my wings, so to speak. And I don’t think we’re good for each other.” He looked at Mordred. “We fight all the time. That couldn’t make you happy.”

“Merlin, you’re five years younger than I am. I realized from the get-go that you had some growing up to do.” Mordred took a long drink of his rum and coke.

Merlin frowned. “If you’re implying that my immaturity is what made us fight, I’d have to disagree. You’re quite overbearing, Mordred.”

Mordred’s brow shot up. “You require a bit of direction.” He shook his head as though to dispel the oncoming argument. “Merlin, we’ve been together two years. You must know how I feel about you—don’t throw it all away because of an itch.” He placed his hand on Merlin’s and looked at him through soulful eyes. “Think of the good times.”

Merlin sighed. “It’s not an ‘itch,’ Mordred, it’s the way I feel. I don’t love you. I’m sorry.”

Mordred’s mouth set in a firm line. “You don’t know what it is you feel. You’ll change your mind, Merlin, and I may not be around waiting for you by then.”

“That’s a risk I’ll have to take, I’m afraid.” Merlin stood up. “There’s really no point in going round and round with this. Goodbye, and thanks for the drink. Perhaps one day we can be friends.”

Merlin walked off, feeling better than he had in a long while. As he strolled down the street, not in a big hurry to get home, he thought about phoning Arthur and seeing if he still wanted to get together, but he vetoed that, reminding himself that he didn’t need to go too fast. His mobile buzzed in his pocket, and he fished it out. The number was unknown.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Merlin?”

“Yes…” Merlin frowned. He didn’t recognize the voice.

“My name’s Percy. I’m a mate of Will’s, and he gave me your number.”

Realization dawned. The bloke that Will was fixing him up with. Merlin tried to insert some cordiality and interest into his voice.

“Right, Percy. Will did mention you.”

“He told me you’d like to go out Friday night. Would you like to meet me at The Abingdon…I made a reservation after talking to Will. Six o’clock?”

“That sounds terrific,” Merlin said. _The Abingdon. Wow. That was an expensive place._

“Brilliant! I’m looking forward to meeting you.”

Percy sounded like a nice enough bloke, Merlin admitted as he continued walking. Still, he found himself wishing it was Arthur he had the date with.


	7. Merlin meets Percy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin has a date with Percy and a taste of playing the field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found I forgot the condom in the last chapter! Tsk, tsk...must have safe sex. I added it in.

When Merlin got home, he took a shower and slipped into some comfortable pants. The light flashed on his mobile, and he picked it up.

**All right?**

It was Arthur, evidently worried about how things had gone with Mordred. It made Merlin’s insides turn all mushy.

**Yeah. Went well, thx.**

Merlin made a bowl of soup before checking the phone again.

**Good. Glad 4 u**

His mobile rang, the name Arthur appearing on the screen.

“Hey,” Merlin greeted him, spooning some soup into his mouth.

“So he’s going to lay off? I was a bit worried.”

“You shouldn’t have been. He doesn’t always come on as strong as the night you saw him. I think he’d had one too many.” This wasn’t exactly the truth, but Merlin found himself embarrassed to have Arthur know he’d been in a relationship so long with such a wanker. “I think so. I explained my feelings, and he didn’t want to accept it, but he has no choice, really.”

“I’m proud of you, Merlin. That couldn’t have been easy.” Arthur’s voice was soft.

“Thanks.” Merlin found himself smiling. “I’m rather proud of myself.” And he was.

“You should be. How about we go celebrate Friday night? I’ll take you somewhere really nice.”

Merlin swallowed. Even though he knew he and Arthur hadn’t made any commitments, he couldn’t help but feel badly about going out with someone else. “I can’t Friday night, Arthur, I have plans. But maybe Saturday?”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a moment, and Merlin waited, his stomach knotting up. “I guess that will work just as well,” Arthur finally replied. “I’m supposed to help my sister Morgana with something that afternoon, and I don’t know how long it will take, so how about sevenish?”

“Sounds great,” Merlin said, relieved. “I’ll see you at work before then, though.”

“Sure. See you, Merlin.”

When Merlin hung up, he couldn’t help but feel he was mucking up something really good.

***

Gwen attempted to have lunch with Merlin three times that week, and all three times something prevented it. The first was Uther calling a last minute meeting. The second time something went wrong in Merlin’s department. And the third, Merlin cancelled because he couldn’t possibly eat due to nerves. He simply wasn’t looking forward to his blind date that evening, which wasn’t very fair to Percy. After all, the guy might be terrific. Only Merlin couldn’t imagine being with anyone but Arthur. All that day, he popped antacids and looked at the time, growing more and more alarmed at how quickly it was passing.

An hour before Merlin was to leave, he suddenly found himself alone on the elevator with Arthur. Someone had stepped off, and Arthur stepped on, and the lift doors closed leaving them face to face. Merlin felt his knees go weak. Being in such close proximity to Arthur made him want to do crazy things, all of them involving a lot less clothing. Arthur hadn’t texted him in days, and Merlin had only caught glimpses of him now and then around the building. He’d missed him.

“Hello, stranger,” Merlin said, fighting the urge to crowd Arthur into a corner for a snog.

“Hi, Merlin. How has your week been?” Arthur looked scrumptious in his suit pants and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, showing off the muscles in his arms.

“Pretty good, actually. Yours?”

“Tolerable. I’ve had a lot of work on my desk.” Arthur’s look seemed to be questioning, but Merlin couldn’t figure out what the question was.

The lift doors opened, and Arthur stepped out. “Have a good time tonight,” he said to Merlin as the doors started to close, his face a little downcast. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Merlin smiled, but it was forced. _God._ He felt like he’d kicked a puppy.

“You’ve got a perfect right to play the field,” Will told him later on the phone as Merlin applied deodorant and changed shirts. He had him on speaker so he could finish changing for dinner.

“I know, I know,” Merlin grumbled, pulling his jeans on and hopping about like a rabbit when they got stuck. “What’s this Percy fellow like, anyway?” He fell back on the bed and yanked them on.

“Oh, you’ll like him. He’s a musician—plays the bass. He’s a big guy—really tall. He loves animals. He’s a dog trainer in his spare time. He’s really looking to settle down.”

“And I’m _not_ , as you keep reminding me,” Merlin said testily.

“Well, you deserve the right to choose among a lot of worthy blokes, Merlin,” Will said. “In fact, I might have another one lined up for you. Surprising how many gay men I know, yeah? Call me as soon as the date’s over.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Merlin pressed End and finished getting ready.

At the restaurant Merlin realized he didn’t have any way of recognizing Percy. As he looked about the dim interior, a maître d’ approached him and asked if he was there to meet Mr. Percival Danvers.

“Yes,” Merlin replied, and he was led into the bar. Percival stood when he appeared, offering a hand to shake. Will had been right---he was tall. Very. And he had huge, muscular shoulders, and big arms and a massive chest…thighs like tree trunks, and a warm, shy smile. Merlin was impressed. Who knew Will could pick a good man?

They sat down at the bar and ordered drinks, making small talk. There was no doubt that Percy was handsome, but Merlin didn’t feel any spark. He chided himself for the thought-- He hadn’t given the man a chance yet. Conversation turned to Will, whom Percy knew through mutual friends. “He really talked you up to me,” Percy told Merlin. “He thinks a lot of you.”

“Same for you,” Merlin replied, taking a sip of his drink. “I’ve just come off a relationship, and as soon as I did, he had your name on his lips every time I saw him.”

Percy laughed, a deep, soft chuckle that Merlin found appealing. “Will knows I’m looking for someone nice. He tells me you’re the nicest bloke he knows, and you’ve been with a real tosser.”

Merlin tried not to scowl at Will spreading this bit of news around. He took another drink and talk turned to sports, of which Merlin knew little, but Percy evidently knew a lot.

When their table was ready, they went into the dining room. Merlin wasn’t used to places quite that fancy and was a bit uncomfortable when the waiter placed his napkin over his lap for him. He wondered how much money Percy could possibly make training dogs. Did he always take his dates to places like this? Merlin thought about Arthur. The Pendragons had millions, but he’d only been to regular places with Arthur. He liked that about him, along with the fact that, although Arthur’s flat was posh, it wasn’t over the top.

And what was he doing thinking of Arthur while on his date with Percy, anyway? Merlin drug his mind back to the man sitting across from him, who was relating a funny story about one of the dogs he’d been training. Percy was nice looking. He was friendly and considerate. He seemed to be genuinely interested in Merlin’s life and what he had to say. So why wasn’t Merlin more interested? Why was he basically counting the minutes until the date would be over?

He told Percy about his mother in Ealdor, and about his uncle, Gaius, and his comic book store. He told him a bit about how he and Will grew up together and some of the things they’d done that had gotten them into trouble at school (all Will’s fault, of course.) Percy related his ‘coming out’ story, which was actually quite funny, and Merlin found himself relaxing and laughing.

“You have a nice laugh,” Percy commented. “I really love your smile.”

Merlin sobered a little. “Thanks.” He knew he was blushing. Percy was a nice guy. Really nice. If he’d met him earlier…before—Merlin stopped that thought. He couldn’t trust himself to know this early how he really felt. Percy deserved a chance.

As they finished their meal, Merlin felt the other man’s eyes upon him as he ate. Percy was studying him, and Merlin wondered what he saw.

It wasn’t that Merlin thought himself ugly or anything. He knew he had striking features—had been told often enough by both men and women. But sometimes he wondered if he was worthwhile underneath. He knew Mordred wasn’t the nicest person, really. But he’d been with him two years, and he knew the man was highly intelligent. And Mordred had told Merlin often enough that Merlin wasn’t so smart, and that he wasn’t particularly gifted artistically, either. Anytime Merlin had spoken about doing something with his degree, Mordred had shot it down. And the trouble was, Merlin could often see the sense in Mordred’s arguments, even to the point of feeling grateful to him from saving him from a grievous mistake in his life. He came to rely on Mordred to help guide him. Gwen had once told Merlin that the fact that his father had left the family when Merlin was small had really done a number on him. She thought that Merlin sought male guidance and affirmation. Perhaps she was right.

So, even though Percy obviously admired his looks, Merlin felt ugly underneath and generally uncomfortable under his observation. As he speared his asparagus, he wondered why he hadn’t had those particular feelings with Arthur. He considered a moment while chewing, aware that Percy was saying something about his food but only half listening.

Arthur thought Merlin handsome. Merlin had often caught Arthur staring. But…something in the way that Arthur spoke to him—touched him—made Merlin feel different. He didn’t have quite enough experience with the man to put his finger on it yet. His stomach clenched, wondering if now that Arthur suspected he wasn’t the only one Merlin was seeing, he would back away from him or worse, begin seeing someone else.

Merlin chastised himself for these thoughts. Of course Arthur had just as much a right to play the field as Merlin did. And wasn’t that the way it was done? Seeing different people rather than jumping from one long-term, monogamous relationship to another?

When they’d finished the meal, Merlin found himself ordering dessert, not so much to prolong the evening as to avoid facing what might come after they left. Merlin had no intention of going to bed with Percy. Not then, anyway. As he ate his cheesecake, he got the feeling someone was staring at him a few tables over. He looked that way, but no eyes were turned on him. He thought he recognized an attractive woman with long, dark hair, but she was busy chatting with the man across from her—someone that Merlin definitely did not know.

Percy put his mind to rest about what was to happen after dinner by announcing an early appointment the following morning with a new client and their Doberman. “I really have to get to bed at a decent hour. I’m sorry we can’t have a drink at my place or something.”

“Maybe another time,” Merlin said, wiping his mouth with the cloth napkin and setting it on the table. “To tell the truth, I’m knackered. It’s been a long week.”

They parted outside the restaurant, with Percy giving Merlin’s hand a squeeze and asking if he could call him again. Merlin found himself smiling and saying that would be nice. On the ride home, he bit his lip and looked out the window at the passing scenery, thinking that dating was more difficult than he’d ever thought it would be.


	8. Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sweetness, some drama.  
> Thanks to all who are reading and letting me know they are enjoying! I appreciate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Drunken animosity. A bit of violence.

Merlin slept late the following day, awakening only when his phone rang for the fifth time. Sliding partway off the bed, blood rushing into his face, Merlin snagged his mobile out of his pants pocket and struggled backward with it.

“This better be good,” he groaned when he’d managed to right himself in the bed.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know I had to have something important to say to call you,” Gwen’s voice sounded slightly irritated.

“I’ve had a busy week. Needed to sleep in.”

“I heard it from Will that he set you up with someone.”

Merlin rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah. He took me to The Abingdon.”

“Ooo! Nice! So he’s a big spender, then?”

“I suppose. Either that, or he was trying to impress me.”

“Did you have a good time?” Gwen asked.

“Sure. It was fine.” Merlin rolled over, snuggling into his pillow.

“Didn’t I hear you had a date with Arthur Pendragon recently, too? How did that go?”

“It was very nice, thanks. Gwen, why the sudden interest in my love life?”

“It’s not sudden interest!” Gwen exclaimed. “I’ve always been interested, but you were with Mordred so long, I already knew everything about the two of you, so I didn’t have to ask.”

 _Not everything,_ Merlin thought.

“So which one of them are you going to see again?” Gwen wanted to know.

“I’m seeing Arthur tonight. And Percy wants to see me again, too,” Merlin answered.

“Really? Which do you fancy the most?”

Merlin sighed. “Gwen…”

“Come on, Merlin, cough up the information. I’ve told you, if you’re going to be my best girlfriend, you have to tell me things. You must like one better than the other. Which is it?”

“I—well, I like Arthur better, but it might just be because I slept with him.”

“You WHAT?”

Merlin had to hold the phone away so as not damage his eardrum with Gwen’s screeching. He switched to speaker and set it on his night stand.

“Merlin, you slut! I can’t believe you slept with the boss! And on the first date!”

“Do you think it’s better to deny your boss?” Merlin snickered. “Anyway, it wasn’t like that. I don’t know; it just happened. We have a rather strong attraction.” His cock moved at the very thought of it.

“Do you like him as a person?” Merlin heard Gwen peeing in the background, and he grinned, sure she didn’t realize he could hear.

“Yes, I really do. But Percy’s nice, too, and Will says I should play the field.”

“Merlin! Don’t take love advice from Will! Does he have a girlfriend? No! Well, unless you count that Morgause person, and I don’t. Why would you play the field if you’ve found someone wonderful?”

“Did I say wonderful?” Arthur really was wonderful, but Gwen didn’t need to know that. Merlin was rather tired of her bossing him around. “Gwen, I want to try dating a while. I was in a relationship for a long time. You don’t know what that’s like.”

“Rub it in, why don’t you?” Gwen huffed. “You obviously don’t know just how awful dating is, but have it your way. Why don’t you come over for lunch tomorrow? I’ll make you something brilliant.”

“Okay. That sounds good. Can I go back to sleep now?”

“All right. ‘bye, Merlin.”

“Bye.” Merlin rolled over and closed his eyes.

Later in the day, when Merlin was up and showered, he texted Arthur.

**We still on 4 tonight?**

It wasn’t too long before his mobile buzzed.

**Yes, unless you want to cancel?**

Merlin was quick to answer.

**No I’m looking forward to it. C u then.**

Merlin tossed his phone onto the couch, got out his drawing supplies, and began to doodle-- something he hadn’t done in a long while. It wasn’t long before his simple cartoon turned into something much more elaborate. Time slipped away from him, marked only by the times Merlin had to stand up, stretch, and refill his glass of ice water. He made sketch after sketch, laying them out on the coffee table.

The knock on the door surprised him, and he felt fairly out of it when he opened it to find Arthur standing in the hall. Arthur took in his disheveled appearance and raised a brow.

“Oh, my God…” Merlin said, a hand to his head. “Is it that late already? I’m so sorry! I’ll just pop into the bedroom and get ready. Make yourself at home.”

When Merlin had changed, combed his hair, and brushed his teeth, he returned to the living area to find Arthur looking through his sketches. “Merlin, these are terrific!”

Merlin colored and came to stand beside Arthur. “Do you really think so?”

Arthur stared at him. “Of course! They’re magnificent! Why didn’t you tell me you were so talented? I would have moved you to advertising and design if I’d known!”

Merlin was shocked. “Really? You think I’m that good?”

Arthur put the illustration down that he was holding and turned, placing his hands on Merlin’s shoulders. “Merlin I assure you…I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

“Well, that’s…that’s _brilliant_!” Merlin’s smile was huge.

“So you would be willing to move to another department?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s something I’ve wanted to do, but I couldn’t get up the courage to apply.”

Arthur shook his head. “You really short-change yourself; do you know that?”

Merlin couldn’t stop smiling. “I can’t believe it! Say, would you like a drink, or are you eager to head out?”

“Actually, a beer would be good if you have it,” Arthur answered, taking a seat on the sofa. “I was hoping we could talk.”

Merlin went into the kitchen and returned with two open bottles of beer, handing one to Arthur and taking his to the chair opposite. He was a little nervous to hear what Arthur had to say.

Arthur took a drink before looking at Merlin. “Merlin, I—I really like you.”

Merlin frowned. “I like you, too, Arthur. Are you about to give me the brush off?”

“What?” Arthur appeared genuinely surprised. “No, no. I, well…I just want to say that what happened that first night we were together—I don’t usually start off that way. It’s just, well, I’m very attracted to you, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“I feel the same,” Merlin told him, meaning it.

Arthur smiled. “Good.” He swallowed and fiddled with his beer bottle. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. I haven’t dated anyone in a while. I get the feeling that you aren’t really looking for something…exclusive.” He raised his eyes from the bottle to Merlin, a question in them.

Merlin took a breath. “I haven’t told you too much about my relationship with Mordred, but…” he really didn’t like to talk about it, but he felt he owed Arthur an explanation. “We were together for two years. Mordred was a bit, well, possessive. I suppose you could call him sort of abusive—mentally and emotionally, that is. At least, that’s what my best friends say. It took me a long time to break away from him, and it’s all so new…I just think I should take it easy for a while. Not get into anything serious. Does that make sense?”

Arthur looked a little sad, and even as he assured Merlin that it was fine, there seemed to be something that he kept back. “So, if you want to take things easy, I guess we should slow down a bit.”

Merlin couldn’t help but agree, although there was nothing more he wanted at that moment than to drag Arthur into the bedroom and screw his brains out.

“But you do want to continue seeing me? Casually?” Arthur asked, so adorably unsure, that Merlin’s heart melted.

“Yes, Arthur. Definitely.”

With their talk behind them, they left for the restaurant. Arthur didn’t take Merlin to a place as expensive as The Abingdon, although Merlin knew he could afford it. But it was nice, and Merlin really preferred it. As they dined on steak, salad, and baked potato, they talked about different things. Arthur told Merlin that his last serious relationship ended years ago, and that it had been with a woman.

“I’d tried to deny being gay for a long time,” he confided, taking a sip of red wine. “But it finally became too much. My relationship with Mithian dissolved because I couldn’t wholly commit to her. I found myself fantasizing about men when we were in bed together.” He shrugged philosophically. “I simply had to face it and move on in a new direction.”

“So how many men have you been with?” Merlin asked, curious.

“Only a few, as far as dating goes. And none have lasted long.” Arthur watched Merlin’s face for a moment. “I’ve sort of had a…crush on you for a while.”

“What?” Merlin almost spilled his drink. “You have? But—why didn’t you approach me before?”

“There just was never a good excuse to,” Arthur said. “I mean, I rarely have a reason to be in your department. We have separate lounges…it was just pure luck when you came in there that morning. Of course, I had to talk to you, although I don’t think you were very impressed with the quote I’d memorized off Tumblr.”

Merlin laughed. “I thought you were either off the beam, or that was a come-on line you used all the time.”

Arthur tilted his head. “It worked, though, didn’t it?”

Merlin snorted. “Hardly. Well, maybe a little. It got me thinking about you, anyway. I couldn’t figure how anyone could be so cheerful all the time, least of all on a Monday.”

“And you are the grouchiest person I’ve ever seen on a Monday,” Arthur said, looking at him fondly. Something inside of Merlin turned over in a very good way.

Suddenly Arthur held up his glass. “I forgot we were celebrating—here’s to Merlin bringing closure to his relationship with his ex.”

“Here, here!” Merlin clinked his glass with Arthur’s before taking a drink. “It did feel very good to say goodbye to him. We really had a dysfunctional relationship. No one could make me feel like shit quite like Mordred.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Arthur told him sincerely. “You’re too good a person to be treated like that.”

Merlin shook his head. “You don’t know the half of it. Looking back, I can’t believe what I put up with. I’m really quite ashamed.” Merlin found he couldn’t meet Arthur’s gaze.

Arthur reached across the table and put his hand over Merlin’s. “You’re a loving person, Merlin. I don’t know all the details, but it sounds as though Mordred took advantage of your good nature and your feelings for him.”

“Maybe.” Merlin shrugged, uncomfortable thinking about it. His night with Arthur and the way Merlin had topped—the way it felt to be inside of Arthur, driving him to distraction—suddenly flashed before his mind and made all the blood rush to his groin. He took a large sip of wine and put all his attention on his food.

As if sensing Merlin’s discomfort, Arthur turned the conversation, telling him about how he’d helped his sister earlier that day with the garden she was planting. Merlin was a bit surprised—he couldn’t picture Arthur outside getting his hands dirty—but found himself endeared by the thought of it. They lingered over dinner and drinks for a long time, neither one seeming to want the evening  to end, a sharp contrast to the way Merlin had felt when dining with Percy the night before, although he’d had a nice enough time with the man.

Once outside, Arthur suggested they not hail a cab right away, but walk for a while instead. Merlin readily agreed, blushing a little when Arthur took his hand and held it as they strolled along, looking in shop windows. Merlin was surprised to learn that Arthur had a thing for antiques.

“I’ve always wanted to open up a shop,” Arthur confided.

“Why don’t you?” Merlin asked, genuinely puzzled. Arthur certainly had the money.

“My father would have a coronary, for one.” Arthur shrugged. “It’s just one of those silly dreams.”

Merlin looked over at Arthur, squeezing his hand that still nestled snuggly in his. “I think if it’s something that would make you happy, it’s worth doing.”

Arthur didn’t say anything, but Merlin thought his face looked very vulnerable. It made Merlin feel suddenly protective of him. He held his hand tighter.

When they’d walked several blocks, Arthur finally called a cab to Merlin’s building. He walked Merlin up to his flat, pausing at the door to give him a goodnight kiss, true to his word about taking things slowly. If Merlin got a bit carried away and grasped Arthur by the behind, pulling him closer, it was just one of those things, he told himself.

“Well, if this isn’t a slutty display, I don’t know what is.” The voice startled both men so much, their mouths came apart with a wet _smack_. Merlin looked over Arthur’s shoulder, both surprised and dismayed to see Mordred standing there. Arthur turned around.

“He used to kiss me like that, too, just before begging me to bugger him,” Mordred said nastily. “If I were you, I’d insist he be tested. Lord knows how many he’s been with.” Merlin could smell the alcohol on Mordred’s breath from several feet away. Mordred didn’t often drink heavily, but when he did, he became meaner than a snake.

“Mordred, go home,” he said tiredly.

“I suggest you do that,” Arthur added tightly.

“You think you’re special?” Mordred asked Arthur, a twisted little smile on his lips. “Merlin would let anyone fuck him.”

Merlin felt Arthur move forward and grabbed his arm. “It’s okay,” he told him. “He’s just drunk.”

“It’s _not_ okay, Merlin,” Arthur growled.

“One time he begged me to let my friend Lance come over and fuck him, too,” Mordred said, and Merlin felt all the blood drain from his face. It was true---but only because Mordred had wanted him to say it in the heat of the moment. It wasn’t something that Merlin had actually fancied doing or would have consented to, no matter what Mordred had said or done.

Arthur, seeing the effect the words had on Merlin, was on Mordred in seconds, plowing him to the floor, his hands about his neck.

“Arthur!” Merlin shouted, trying to pull him off. Mordred’s face quickly went from very red to shiny purple, his legs flailing helplessly. “Please, Arthur! Let go! He isn’t worth it, believe me!” His heart hammered in his chest. Arthur’s body felt like steel beneath his hands as he tried to wrench him away from the man on the floor.

Arthur’s face was a study of anger—veins standing out on his forehead and neck, features as hard as stone. At Merlin’s continued pleas, his grip eased a bit. Mordred took a staggering breath. His fingers were digging into Arthur’s wrists, trying to pry his hands from his neck. Arthur’s knee was planted solidly on the man’s chest, holding him down.

“Come on, Arthur,” Merlin said softly. “Let’s go inside.”

Arthur’s face relaxed a little, and he slowly let go of Mordred’s neck, allowing Merlin to coax him to his feet. They both stood staring down at the man heaving on the floor. Mordred rolled over and got to his knees, his head hanging.

“You’d better not come around Merlin again,” Arthur warned in a voice that shook with emotion. He ushered Merlin into his flat and shut the door.

Merlin led Arthur to the couch and sat him down, surprised that Arthur was trembling. “I’ll get us some tea, yeah?”

He went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Shaken by what had just happened, he took a moment to pull himself together. He was touched at Arthur’s protectiveness of him…he’d never had anyone take up for him quite like that. Well, except for Will. But Will, after spending months trying to get Merlin to break up with Mordred, had eventually backed off and basically stayed away. He couldn’t stand Mordred, and simply didn’t want to be around him. Added to that was the fact that Will’s animosity toward Merlin’s boyfriend was harming the men’s long-time friendship. Better to just keep their relationship separate and intact.

When Merlin brought the tea into the living room, he found Arthur slumped on the couch, his head tilted back and his eyes closed. “I’m not going to apologize for what I did,” Arthur said without moving. “The man’s a devil.”

“I don’t want you to apologize,” Merlin said, sitting on the couch and handing Arthur his tea. “I think what you did was wonderful.”

Arthur sat up, careful not to spill. “You do?”

“How could I not? You’re my knight in shining armor.” Merlin smiled.

“I love your smile,” Arthur said softly. “I think I’d do just about anything to see it.”

Merlin’s heart sped up and his insides melted. They stared at one another for a moment.

“What Mordred said…” Merlin felt compelled to explain.

“Merlin, you don’t have to say anything.”

“I want to.” Merlin took a sip of his tea and placed the mug on the table. “He had certain…er, fancies. It took certain things for him to get off, yeah? He’d want me to say this or do that.” He swallowed hard. “I just want you to know that I never really wanted someone else to come into our bedroom. It’s just what he liked me to say in the heat of the moment.”

Arthur placed his cup down and reached over, pulling Merlin closer to him on the sofa. “I wasn’t worried. I figured it was something like that.” He smoothed Merlin’s hair back from his forehead.

“Mordred also would never let me top,” Merlin found himself admitting.

Arthur looked surprised. “Really? In all the time you were together?”

Merlin nodded. “A little over two years.”

A frown line appeared between Arthur’s eyebrows. “I loved having you inside me.”

This confession nearly undid Merlin. He fought not to tear up. “I—loved being inside you,” he finally said when he could breathe again. “And I’d love to feel you inside me, too.”

Merlin could see Arthur’s breathing pick up, and his own followed suit. Shit, if they were going to take things slowly, this conversation had to stop.

Arthur seemed to think so, too, for he tore his eyes away from Merlin and stood. “I’d better leave. Not because I want to, but…you know why.”

Merlin stood, too. “I had a wonderful time, Arthur. Really.”

Arthur smiled, leaned in, and kissed him gently on the lips. “Me, too. Really. Be sure to lock the door behind me.”

“Don’t worry about me, honestly. Mordred never hit me. He’s all hot air.”

Arthur nodded, bringing his hand to cradle Merlin’s face in a way that made the latter feel undeniably cherished. He ran his thumb over Merlin’s mouth. “Goodnight, Merlin.”

He left, very reluctantly, Merlin thought.


	9. Playing the Field

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin gets a clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse the obvious fact that I know next to nothing about London.

Will phoned early the next morning. “I’ve set up your next date!” he announced proudly.

“What?” Merlin sat up and scrubbed at his face with one hand.

“I told you I had someone else in mind. And you know this bloke.”

“Who the fuck is it?” Merlin asked, bleary-eyed.

“Lance from The Griffin.”

“ _What?_ The bartender? Will, you moron, he’s a friend of Mordred!”

“Not a good one. Seems Lance thinks Mordred’s a real tosser but has always fancied you.”

“I didn’t even know Lance was gay!” Merlin reached into the bedside drawer for his glasses.

“He’s bi. It came up in conversation recently, and I immediately thought of you.” Will sounded immensely proud of himself. “He’s very eager to go out with you. In fact, I hope you don’t have any plans for the afternoon.”

“ _This_ afternoon?”

“Yeah. Seems he’d like to take you to some festival.”

“Festival? It’s bloody cold outside!”

“I don’t know if that was the word. It could be inside, for all I know. Anyway, he wanted you to meet him in front of the bar.”

“Shit.” Merlin flopped back down on the bed. It would’ve been nice to have just one day off. “Will, this will be my third date this weekend, you do realize that.”

“So how did it go with Percy? Did you like him?”

“He was nice. Very fit.” Merlin didn’t sound overly-enthused.

“Well now you can see if you like Lance better. Who did you go out with last night?”

Merlin told him about his date with Arthur, including the run-in with Mordred.

“Well, good on him!” Will said. “I’d like to have been a fly on the wall for that. You should have let Arthur kill him and rid the world of Mordred forever. So, I have to go…meet Lance in front of The Griffin at four, and for Christ’s sake, ring me up later and tell me how it went. I’m not doing all this work for nothing!” He rang off.

Merlin promptly went back to sleep.

He woke up two hours later, showered, and went about darning some of his socks while he watched reruns of bad television shows. Twice he poked himself with the needle and cursed a blue streak. He found himself thinking about Arthur. The way the sun shone in his blond hair. The way his eyes were a deep blue. The way his face could be haughty one moment and completely vulnerable the next.

He stopped himself, feeling that he might be inadvertently encouraging an infatuation. Diligently, he turned his mind to Percy. Hmm. Percy was quite tall. Very fit. Nice guy. Merlin hadn’t kissed him yet, so he couldn’t think about that.

However, kissing Arthur was thoroughly enjoyable. He had the softest lips, and the hottest tongue, and he knew how to make Merlin want more…

He was doing it again. “Fuck!” Merlin shouted, because he was alone in his flat, and he could. When he finished with the socks, he pulled out his drawings, remembering that Arthur wanted to promote him.  A warm feeling trickled throughout Merlin’s insides. _Arthur liked his work. He encouraged him._

Shortly enough, three-thirty rolled around and Merlin set off for The Griffin, spotting Lance waiting for him outside as soon as he turned the corner. When he reached him, they greeted one another with smiles. Lance was definitely handsome; Merlin had already known that. His dark looks leant him a mysterious air, but his soulful eyes put one at ease immediately. Soon they were talking as though they were long-time friends. Of course, they had a mutual dislike of Mordred in common.

“I really thought the two of you were friends,” Merlin said as they walked. Lance wanted to go to some kind of New Age thing at a local community center.

“We’re more like acquaintances,” Lance told him. “Mordred’s done some legal work for Connie, the woman who owns the bar. Since she’s from Spain and I know Spanish, I’ve interpreted for her a few times when she felt the legalese was getting too difficult for her. Honestly, I got a feeling sometimes that if I hadn’t been there, Mordred would’ve screwed her over fee-wise.”

Merlin muttered that nothing surprised him about his ex anymore.

“If you don’t mind my saying, I’ve often thought you were too nice of a guy for him,” Lance told him.

“I’ve heard that a few times. But, listen. Let’s not talk about him. I really couldn’t be any more over him, and I really want to move on.”

“Fine by me!” They arrived at the community center, and Lance gallantly held the door open for Merlin. The large room inside was filled with booths of people selling everything from scented candles to bracelets that helped with migraines. A couple of booths held palm readers.

“Fancy having your palm read?” Lance asked with a smile after having purchased a book on chakras from a girl with purple hair.

“You first,” Merlin said.

“Okay,” Lance replied and gamely sat down. The old woman sitting in the booth studied his palm, running her fingers over it. “You will meet the love of your life,” she said, and Lance cast Merlin a look that said, _Ooo, that’s a new one!_

“You have been looking in the wrong direction,” she continued, after slapping his hand at his inattention. “I see you working with liquid, but that is about to change, too. Your life will turn upside down, and you will turn someone else’s life upside down in the process.” She let go of his hand and held her own out for money. Lance gave it to her and stood up, shrugging.

Merlin took his place, offering his palm. When the woman ran her boney finger over it, he couldn’t stifle a giggle. “It tickles!” he explained when she gave him a look. Lance laughed from where he stood behind Merlin’s chair.

“Hmm. I see you are quite dense,” the woman said.

“What?” Merlin replied on a laugh. “Well, that’s rather insulting.”

“I see the dark and the light,” the woman told him, staring at his palm. She shook her head. “Your heart gets in the way of your head, and your head gets in the way of your heart. Quit burying your head in the sand!” She let go and held out her hand for money. Merlin sighed and gave it to her.

“Not very revealing,” he said to Lance when they’d left her booth.

“I agree. I wonder whose life I’m going to turn upside down?” he laughed.

Merlin found himself buying Arthur a tie pin. He didn’t know why—the booth didn’t even have anything to do with the holistic theme of the fair. The woman had lots of gold on display, and Merlin found himself pulled in by the unusual jewelry. The tie clip was an intricately made gold dragon with a tiny blue sapphire eye. For some reason he just wanted Arthur to have it.

“It’s very unusual,” Lance said when he saw it. They’d left the center and stopped to buy hot dogs at a stand. They found a bench and sat down, enjoying the warmth of the sun.

“I bought it for a friend,” Merlin said. “He, er, wears a lot of ties. And the blue…well, it just made me think of his eyes.” He blushed, suddenly aware he sounded like a thirteen-year-old girl.

Lance didn’t seem to notice. He just nodded, biting into his hot dog. Merlin found he enjoyed talking to Lance. It was easy and casual. He didn’t feel the discomfort and newness he’d felt with Percy. When they finished eating, they got up and wandered down the street, going into this and that shop.

When they stopped at a bookstore, Lance went inside to buy a bestseller, while Merlin remained outside to have a smoke. As he stood there with his cigarette, he caught sight of a blond head exiting a taxi a couple of stores down. His heart stuttered in his chest. For a moment, he thought Arthur was going to walk the other way, but after a moment a woman appeared out of a door nearby, and they turned and headed Merlin’s way.

Merlin took a drag off his cigarette, watching Arthur. He was dressed in jeans and a red hoodie, with sneakers on his feet. He spoke animatedly with his companion, who Merlin thought looked vaguely familiar. When they got close, Merlin caught Arthur’s eye and he stopped.

“Merlin!” he smiled his open, friendly smile that made Merlin want to smile, too. “I didn’t expect to run into you today.” He indicated his companion. “This is my sister, Morgana.”

Morgana was a very attractive woman, but she looked nothing like her brother. Her hair was quite dark, and her eyes very green.

“Hello,” Merlin dispensed with his cigarette and held his hand out. Morgana shook it, although her expression was not particularly friendly.

“We were just heading to Vanilla Black for lunch. Would you like to join us? The food is vegetarian, since Morgana won’t eat meat, but quite good.”

Merlin smiled. “I’m waiting for a friend, but thanks anyway. You two have fun.”

Lance chose that moment to walk out of the bookstore, of course.

“I got the last copy!” he said, smiling his bright, toothpaste-ad smile. Noticing Arthur and Morgana, he said, “Oh, hello. I believe I’ve seen you two in The Griffin.”

Arthur and Morgana exchanged glances, and then Arthur introduced them. “You’re the bartender there, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Lance smiled.

“Nice to meet you. Well, we’d best be off,” Arthur said, nodding and looking a bit uncomfortable yet determined not to show it. “See you at work, Merlin.” They walked away.

“He was a nice chap,” Lance said to Merlin. “Good friend of yours?”

“New friend,” Merlin said, not sure how else to put it. His eyes still hadn’t left Arthur’s retreating form.

“The woman was a bit standoffish.”

“This is the first I’ve met her, but yes, I’d have to agree,” Merlin said. He snapped back to attention with difficulty. “So, you found your book? Brilliant. Where would you like to go next?”

Lance suggested a movie, and Merlin agreed, although his mind simply wouldn’t leave Arthur. He did his best to give Lance, and then the movie, his full attention, but he kept thinking about Arthur’s smile, and Arthur’s voice. Arthur’s hair and Arthur’s fine, fine arse.

When they left the theater, Lance said, “Merlin, I’ve really enjoyed being with you, and I’d ask you over for a drink, but I get the feeling your heart wouldn’t be in it.”

“What?” Merin blinked, surprised. “I’ve had a very nice time, Lance!”

Lance smiled. “Let me ask you something…is that tie pin for Arthur by any chance?”

Merlin’s mouth fell open. “Um, yes?”

“I thought so. You seem very smitten with him.”

Merlin made a face. “I’m not _smitten_.”

“Yes, I think you are. Why don’t you just ask him out?”

Merlin scuffed his shoe on the pavement. “We’ve been out. I’m, er, trying to play the field.”

“What for?” Lance’s knit his brows.

“I just got out of that long relationship with he-who-shall-not-be-named. I don’t want to jump into another one with the first bloke I fancy. So Will’s fixing me up with various dates.”

Lance frowned. “That’s just barmy, mate. If you fancy Arthur, why go through a bunch of others?”

“Lance, would you do me a favor?” Merlin asked, a troubled expression on his face.

“Sure. What?”

“Would you kiss me? I know it sounds crazy, but just indulge me, please.”

Lance shrugged, leaned forward, and pulled Merlin into his arms, kissing him thoroughly.

It was nice. It felt good.

It did pretty much nothing for Merlin.

“Thanks,” Merlin said when they’d pulled apart.

“Did it answer your question?” Lance wanted to know.

“I think so, yeah.”

                                                                                                ~~O~~

The next day, Merlin got to work early. None of the usual crappy Monday things had happened to him so far, so he was in a relatively good mood. He dove into his work with surprising zeal, not even getting angry when Freya got locked out of her computer for the fourth time in an hour. 

Mid-morning Merlin was surprised by a text from Percy asking him to meet him for lunch. Merlin considered a moment before texting back that he would.

Finding the coffee pot empty, he got on the lift and went up to the larger coffee lounge. He was surprised to find Morgana there.

“Oh---so this is where I’ve seen you before—you work here,” Merlin said, feeling a bit stupid.

 “Yes,” Morgana replied, not smiling, “and I suspect you also saw me Friday night at The Abingdon. You were a bit busy with your date.”

Merlin frowned as he poured his coffee, realizing that she had been the woman he’d seen that he’d thought had been staring at him.

“Had you been watching me?” Merlin asked.

“Yes,” Morgana said flatly. “I love my brother, and I’d appreciate it very much if you wouldn’t break his heart.”

“I have no intention of breaking his heart!” Merlin informed her.

“Oh, yes? Then why are you stringing him along while you go out with a variety of men? None of which, I might add, hold a candle to my brother.”

Merlin sighed, rubbing his eyes with his finger and thumb. “I’m not trying to hurt Arthur. I’m simply trying not to dive into another relationship too fast.” When was he going to be able to stop explaining this to people? Didn’t others date without getting the third degree?

“Arthur really likes you,” Morgana said testily. “And he hasn’t been interested in anyone for a long time. He’s too nice to object to what you’re doing, but I’m not. Either date him exclusively, or tell him you’re not interested.”

With that, she turned on her spiked heel and walked out of the room, leaving Merlin staring after her.

When he met Percy for lunch, Percy had a dog with him. A very large dog.

“Sorry, I had to bring Butch because his owner didn’t pick him up in time. Okay with you if we grab something from a vender?” Percy looked even bigger in broad daylight.

“Sure,” Merlin said, eying Butch warily. They chose fish and chips and sat on a bench to eat. Fortunately, Percy was very adept at handling the dog. A command and a tug on the leash was all it took for Butch to lie down on the sidewalk and promptly go to sleep.

“I’m glad you agreed to meet me,” Percy said, eyes sincere. “I really enjoyed our evening together, Merlin.”

Merlin wanted to sigh, but held it in. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Lance, and then Morgana, had said.

“I’m very attracted to you,” Percy confided, taking a sip of his drink before setting it on the ground at his feet. “I found myself wishing all weekend that I’d had the nerve to kiss you.”

 

Merlin thought about his not-so-thrilling kiss with Lance, and wondered if it would be any more exciting to kiss Percy. “There’s no time like the present,” he suggested. Percy grinned, and they both leaned in, pressing their mouths together. The kiss tasted of vinegar and fish and wasn’t unpleasant. Still, Merlin’s toes didn’t curl, and he didn’t have the urge to jump Percy right there on the bench, as he had every time he’d seen Arthur to date. When they pulled away, Merlin licked his lips, wondering if he should try adding vinegar to his own chips. He turned and caught sight of Arthur standing outside the shop across the street, staring at them.

_Well, crap._

Arthur looked like he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. He glanced down at the bag of food he was holding, looked back at Merlin, turned and looked at the door of the shop, and then finally seemed to make the decision to keep walking in the direction he’d been going—straight past Merlin and Percy.

“Er, hello,” Arthur said, smiling a little wobbly. “Nice afternoon, isn’t it?” Merlin nodded, and Arthur continued walking down the sidewalk toward the office building.

“Wow. He’s certainly a looker,” Percy commented, unabashedly watching Arthur’s ass as he walked away from them. Merlin was annoyed, and not because Percy wasn’t paying Merlin any attention.

“He’s taken,” he found himself saying. “Listen, Percy. You’re a great guy and all, and I like you fine. But I really fancy someone else. In fact, I think I’m falling in love. So if you’ll excuse me?” He got up, threw the rest of his food in the bin, and followed Arthur down the street at a fast clip.


	10. On the Right Track

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps now things will settle down.

“Hey! Arthur, wait up!” Merlin called to him. Arthur stopped and turned around. Merlin skidded to a halt in front of him, finding he wasn’t at all sure what to say now they were face to face. He bit his lip. “Er…would you come over tonight? For dinner?”

Arthur looked surprised. “Tonight?”

“Yeah. After work…maybe sixish? Please?”

Arthur looked away, irritation playing over his handsome features. “Merlin, you’re going to wear yourself out at this rate. At least pace yourself.”

Merlin shook his head. “No, you don’t understand. I’m through with the random dating, Arthur.”

Arthur frowned. “I just saw you snogging a guy on the park bench.”

“I know, I know. Just trust me, okay? We’ll talk about it tonight, if you’ll come.”

“Okay,” Arthur sighed, turning to walk into their building. “I’ll be there. By the way, I’ve put in the paperwork for your transfer to advertising and design.”

Merlin’s face lit up. “That’s terrific!”

A smile played about Arthur’s lips. “I thought you’d be pleased.” They rode the lift together, separating when Merlin got off at his floor.

“Don’t forget about tonight,” Merlin said, pointing his finger at Arthur. “I’ll be eager to see you.”

The lift doors closed on a decidedly bewildered looking Arthur.

When five o’clock finally arrived, Merlin had to rush to get everything done. There would be no time to both grocery shop and cook, so he’d called ahead to order something from a favorite restaurant. He picked it up on the way home and hurried to take a shower. He’d just gotten the table set when the knock came at the door.

“Right on time,” Merlin said, opening it wide.

“Punctuality is important,” Arthur said, walking in. He looked freshly washed—his hair a little damp at the collar. “Something smells magnificent. My stomach’s been growling for hours.”

“Well, we’ll eat right away, then.” Merlin put a hand on Arthur’s chest. “But first…” he leaned in and kissed him. _Yep, toes curled._

“Merlin, I…” Arthur looked even more confused. Merlin took him by the hand and led him to the table.

“Sit. I’ll pour us some wine.”

When they were both seated and digging into the lasagna, Merlin said, “I’m really sorry I’ve been so difficult, Arthur. I mean, I told you the reason I didn’t want to jump into a relationship with someone.” He met his eyes over the table. “But the trouble with that, I’ve come to realize, is I don’t want to be with anyone but you.”

Arthur paused with his glass mid-way to his lips. “You don’t?”

Merlin shook his head. “So it’s pretty silly of me to keep seeing other men when I could spend that time with the one I really want to be with. Don’t you think?”

Arthur’s eyes went soft. “I do.” There was a long pause as the words hung in the air. Arthur startled. “Think that, that is. Yes, I agree. Wholeheartedly.”

Merlin smiled at a flustered Arthur. “So you still want to be with me? Exclusively, I mean?”

“Of course I do, Merlin, and after I finish eating this wonderful meal, I’ll show you just how much!”

The ‘showing’ part amounted to a lot of snogging with a bit of frottage. Every time Merlin reached for the zipper of Arthur’s pants, Arthur pushed his hand away, insisting that just because they were going to be exclusive didn’t mean they shouldn’t take their relationship slowly. Merlin whined a bit about this, but Arthur wouldn’t back down. They snuggled together on the couch, just enjoying being together.

“You know, your scary sister accosted me in the coffee lounge this morning,” Merlin said suddenly as he contemplated his and Arthur’s fingers laced together in his lap.

“She did? What did she say?”

“Basically that I was to choose between playing the field and being with you. So I guess we owe her some thanks.”

“Then how is it lunchtime found you snogging with steroid guy?”

Merlin laughed. “That was Percy. The one I went out with Friday night. I hadn’t kissed him then, and I just wanted to see if my toes curled when I did.”

“Huh?” Arthur dipped his head, moving his chin from where it rested on the top of Merlin’s head and burying his nose in Merlin’s hair.

“Well, see,” Merlin explained, “when you kiss me, my toes curl. But when Lance and Percy kissed me, they didn’t.”

“Is that right?” Arthur moved his mouth from Merlin’s hair to his ear, tracing the rim with his tongue.

“Ar—thur! My ears are sensitive!” A shiver ran through Merlin’s body. He jerked his head sideways and glared at Arthur. “If you refuse to go to bed with me, you can’t lick my ears! It’s cruel and unusual punishment!”

Arthur smiled and dipped his head down for a kiss. “Toes curling yet?” he asked into Merlin’s mouth.

“You’re going to be impossibly conceited about that bit of information, aren’t you?”

“Impossibly,” Arthur agreed, flicking his tongue into Merlin’s mouth. Merlin grabbed hold of it with his lips and sucked. Soon they were rolling about the couch, humping at each other like dogs in heat.

“I’d better go home,” Arthur groaned, rolling onto the floor, his pants noticeably tented. Merlin looked down at him from the couch.

“You could stay the night…”

Arthur smiled. “Taking things slow, remember?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Fine. See you at work tomorrow. Don’t let your woody get caught in the door on the way out.”

Arthur laughed loudly and got up. “I will protect my woody at all costs. I have plans for it, afterall.” He kissed him goodbye and left, leaving Merlin with his own tent in his pants.

                                                                                                ~~O~~

 

Tuesday evening found Merlin sitting in The Griffin having a drink with Gwen and Leon.

“I think you made the right decision, Merlin,” Gwen told him, folding her cocktail napkin into fourths before smoothing it out again. “It was just pure luck that you found The One on the first try. Why waste your time with those others?”

Merlin hid his happy grin in his beer. Arthur was working late that night. They’d managed to have a quick lunch together, but Merlin still felt he couldn’t get enough of being with him. It was odd, since he’d absolutely never felt that way with Mordred. In fact, most times he’d wished Mordred would find something else to do when they were together. At least, after the fog of stupid, self-torturing infatuation wore off, he had. That is to say—the last two months of their relationship. Anyway, he’d never exactly wished for Mordred’s presence—it was more that he’d felt he didn’t know what to do without it. Mordred had been so tightly interwoven in who Merlin was, that Merlin had found he couldn’t exist without him. He suspected that that was what Mordred wanted all along.

“Did you really go out with the bartender?” Leon indicated Lance at the bar, who was busily pouring drinks for patrons.

“Yeah, I did. He’s a great person. He actually encouraged me to be with Arthur. Said I was ‘smitten’ with him.”

“You are that,” Gwen agreed. “Still…Lance is terribly good looking.”

Leon stiffened in his seat. “Well, if you think so, why don’t _you_ have a go at him?”

Merlin frowned. Leon and Gwen had been snapping at each other a lot lately, and things just seemed to be getting worse.

“Maybe I will!” Gwen stood up with a flounce and headed for the bar.

“Why did you do that?” Merlin asked. “You goaded her right toward him!”

Leon gazed miserably down into his glass. “She’s been insufferable lately. I think she’s just looking for a reason to end things. Better to get it over and done with.”

“I’m sorry, mate,” Merlin said sincerely. He turned and glanced toward where Gwen was happily flirting with Lance. A second later a familiar face entered his field of vision.

“Oh, shit,” Merlin mumbled, turning back to Leon. “Maybe he won’t start anything up.”

“I think that’s a bit much to ask of a wanker like him,” Leon said, his eyes obviously tracking someone to their table.

“So, Merlin…without your blond guard dog tonight, I see. He’s lucky I didn’t press charges.” Mordred’s voice was like fingernails on blackboard to Merlin.

“Bugger off, Mordred,” Merlin said, taking a sip of his beer and not bothering to look at him.

“You chatting up Leon now?” Mordred asked. “Stealing slopping seconds from Gwen?”

Leon made to stand up, but under the table Merlin pressed his toe into Leon’s boot, giving his friend a look that clearly said, _Don’t give him the satisfaction._

Mordred sighed. “Honestly, Merlin.” He ran a hand through his dark, wavy hair, his expression suddenly changing from belligerent to unsure. “You really bring out the worst in me.”

“I think that’s part of our problem,” Merlin told him, giving him a frank look. “You do the same for me.”

Mordred shifted on his feet. “Well, then…” He seemed to be at a loss for words and surprised Merlin by walking away without saying anything more.

“That last bit was…strangely human,” Leon commented, watching him go.

“Despite what everyone seems to think,” Merlin said crossly, “I’m not so useless as to have spent two years of my life with someone completely devoid of feelings!” He couldn’t help the anger that rose within him. Everyone was always so quick to judge, but they didn’t have all the facts. Sure, Merlin was ashamed at having stuck with Mordred so long, but there had been a lot more to them than Mordred dishing out abuse and Merlin blithely taking it.

“Sorry, Merlin. Of course, you’re right,” Leon soothed. “It’s easy for us to just concentrate on the bad things, when I’m sure there was a lot of good, too.”

Merlin shrugged. “He’s not a demon. He has a few good points when someone bothers to look. The main thing is, we weren’t any good together.”

Leon put a hand over Merlin’s. “And you were wise enough to see that, and courageous enough to put an end to it. Now, question is—when am I going to get to know Arthur better? We should hang out.”

So the following Friday night Leon, Merlin, and Arthur did a pub crawl that ended with the three of them passed out at Arthur’s flat. Leon had been drowning his sorrows in shots—Upon hearing that The Griffin was changing ownership and Lance wanted to leave, Gwen had arranged a job for him in her office.

“It’s just a matter of time, now,” Leon had slurred at least once at every pub they hit. Merlin and Arthur had exchanged sympathetic glances and kept the shots coming.

When the three awoke Saturday morning, it was with much bemoaning, wincing, and swearing. Arthur passed out the water and pain reliever, and the three spent the day watching old movies on mute and groaning every time someone made a noise above a whisper.

Leon told Merlin later that Gwen had been stony-faced and quiet when he’d returned to the flat they shared after leaving Arthur’s. She didn’t approve of getting drunk to the point of passing out or vomiting, and she told Leon that in short order. She also told him that Lance didn’t drink.

“So after hearing earlier in the week about how Lance speaks fluent Spanish and is such an asset to the office, and then Gwen basically making me sound like a drunk compared to him, I got angry and we had another terrible row.”

“Leon, I’m sorry,” Merlin told him on the phone. “Maybe you two should take a little vacation together and sort things out.”

Leon had said he’d think about it.

 

On Wednesday of the following week, Lance came to Merlin’s new office on the fifth floor—his promotion had gone through, and Merlin was walking on air—and told him that he’d heard through the grapevine that Mordred had a new boyfriend.

“Oh, my God. The poor pillock. Who is it?” Merlin asked.

“I don’t know. Some younger guy, I hear. They were all over each other at the movies last night, my mate said.”

“Good news for me, I guess,” Merlin replied.

Lance nodded. “I thought so, too. See you, Merlin!” He smiled, waved, and left. Merlin leaned back in his chair, examining his feelings. It was odd thinking of Mordred with another man. Merlin wasn’t jealous, exactly, but it took a little getting used to.

Just as Merlin had settled back down to work, Arthur appeared, shutting the door behind him.

“Hi!” Merlin smiled widely. He hadn’t seen Arthur all day. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I was sitting at my desk, work piled up to my ears,” Arthur answered, advancing on Merlin, “and I had the sudden, most ridiculous urge to come and kiss you.” He put a hand on each arm rest of Merlin’s chair and bent over until they were nose to nose.

“Did you, now. And it couldn’t wait until after hours?” Merlin asked, looking into Arthur’s eyes, which he privately compared to two delicious pools of deep water.

“It could not,” Arthur said emphatically, shaking his head. “I cannot go on without a kiss from you. It’s imperative to my well-being.”

“Well. I suppose there’s nothing for it, then. You’ll have to kiss me.”

Arthur smiled slowly. “Yes.” He leaned in, meeting Merlin’s lips with a delicious slide of his own. Merlin couldn’t help trembling, it felt so good. So right. Reaching up, he threaded his fingers through Arthur’s silky hair, pulling him closer as he opened his own mouth to welcome Arthur’s questing tongue. The groan that came out of Arthur’s throat went straight to Merlin’s groin.

“There are reasons people don’t snog at work,” Merlin said, pulling away, “all of them having to do with the infeasibility of taking it anywhere.” They still hadn’t done anything more than kiss and fondle, and Merlin was beginning to consider using force if he had to. He reached over and tentatively stroked the bulge in Arthur’s pants with a finger.

“Shit, Merlin,” Arthur sighed, sounding a bit weak-kneed. “I have a mind to lock the door and take you over your desk.”

“I wish you would,” Merlin challenged, and Arthur swallowed.

“Fuck, Merlin.”

“Yes.” Merlin’s eyes never left Arthur’s. “That would be nice.”

Arthur straightened up, and Merlin’s heartbeat stuttered in his chest. He wondered if Arthur would do it…for a moment Merlin imagined him locking the door, pushing the files off Merlin’s desk, and bending him over it. Merlin’s dick stiffened painfully at the thought, crazy as it would be.

“I think…I’ll make you a special meal Friday night,” Arthur told him, and Merlin blinked, unable to connect the dots.

“What?”

“A special date, yeah?” Arthur’s voice was soft.

“Oh…okay. Friday it is then.”

Merlin watched Arthur back away, open the door, and disappear.

Merlin let out a breath. _Holy shit, how was he going to make it until Friday?_


	11. Waiting for Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Merlin meets the twink.

Merlin found himself thinking about Mordred as he cleaned his apartment that night. Although he knew it wasn’t any of his business, he just couldn’t help wondering who he’d hooked up with. Could it be Gwaine? But, no; Will had told him recently that Gwaine was seeing some Australian guy. Besides, Lance had said this man was younger. Merlin ran over the list of men he’d suspected Mordred of cheating on him with in the past. None of them would’ve been tagged as ‘young’ by an onlooker.

As Merlin scrubbed the kitchen sink, he asked himself why he even cared. He and Mordred were over. Merlin had chosen to break up with him, even though Mordred had immediately declared it mutual. (There was no way Mordred was ever going to admit to being _dumped_.) Merlin rinsed the sponge and wrung it out, searching his mind for any time in his relationship with Mordred that the man had been sweet and loving, because he had, Merlin knew. Somehow he felt the need to validate their relationship, even if it was just to himself.

There was that birthday when Mordred had surprised Merlin with an expensive art set, even though Mordred thought Merlin’s interest in art was rubbish. And there was that time that Mordred took Merlin to meet his parents, and he’d defended Merlin when his father had said Merlin was ‘void of culture.’ There were also the occasional pleasant evenings at home together, although those became fewer and farther between as their relationship went on. For the most part, Merlin had been enamored with Mordred and his ‘take charge’ attitude. He’d welcomed the fact that Mordred felt he could shape Merlin into something better, but as Merlin matured, he’d begun to feel stifled.

Merlin sighed and wiped his hands. He didn’t know why his thoughts were going down that particular road, but he needed to put a stop to it. He sent Will a quick text, asking if he wanted to meet for a bite to eat. Merlin hadn’t been spending as much time with Will as he usually did, and he felt that a catch-up was in order.

Forty-five minutes later, the two friends sat down at a local pizza place with their order.

“So, how are things with Morgause?” Merlin asked.

Will stuffed half a slice of pepperoni pizza into his mouth and began to talk while chewing. “Oh, that ended. Turns out she likes birds. I’ve been seeing a girl in data processing some. She’s nice enough. You sure you don’t want to meet the third guy I had lined up for you? I hear he’s really hung…”

“Will!” Merlin stopped him, actually reaching out and putting a hand to his friend’s mouth. “I am very happy with Arthur, thanks. I don’t want to play the field any longer.” He took a bite of his pizza. “Um, I happened to hear Mordred is seeing someone.” _Fuck, why couldn’t he just let it alone?_

“Yeah? Who’d have him? Oh, sorry, I guess you would.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “I don’t know who it is. I was just curious.”

“I know how you might be able to find out, if you really want to know,” Will told him, wiping his mouth with a paper napkin.

“How?” Merlin frowned.

“I saw him on my way here. He was going into The Griffin. Maybe the guy’s meeting him there.”

Merlin thought about it. Purposely running into his ex wasn’t something he relished, but his curiosity pushed him. “I guess we could stop in for a peek when we’re finished.”

Will nodded, and talk turned to work and Merlin’s new position.

“Maybe I should try fucking the boss,” Will mused.

“That is not how I got the job!” Merlin told him. “We’ve only done it once, anyway. We’ve decided to go slowly.”

“What the hell? That’s just crazy!”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Only to someone like you who can’t stop thinking with his dick. And if you’re considering joining the other team in order to fuck the boss for a promotion, you’d best be talking about _Uther_ Pendragon!”

Will wrinkled his nose. “Ugh. No thanks, mate. I’ll just stay a hetero in lowly accounting.”

“It’s not lowly. It’s better than what I was doing, and it’s what you wanted. I, on the other hand, have been languishing in a job I hate. All that analyzing and researching gives me a headache; you know that. I only took the spot because I wanted my foot in the door.”

“And then stubbornly refused to apply for anything else,” Will put in with a knowing look, finishing off his third slice of pizza.

Merlin made a face, reached for his wallet, and laid some bills on the table. “Come on, let’s go to The Griffin.”

They walked down the street, hands seeking their pockets as the cold wind whipped around them.

The Griffin was fairly crowded for a weeknight. Merlin noticed the new bartender was a female,—a tall brunette whom Will zeroed in on immediately. He strutted over to get them a couple of pints while Merlin found a seat in the back, trying not to be too obvious when he looked around for Mordred. Finally he spotted him in the corner, his head close to a man Merlin didn’t recognize. The man was definitely a lot younger than Mordred.

“There ought to be a law against married bartenders,” Will grumbled as he sat down and handed Merlin his pint.

“There he is,” Merlin motioned to the corner. Will turned and looked, making Merlin sigh in exasperation. “For God’s sake, can’t you be a little less obvious?”

Will shrugged. “He’s not paying us any attention. Is your curiosity satisfied? The guy appears to be over the age of consent. Only just.”

“Yeah,” Merlin replied. “I just couldn’t help but wonder what type Mordred would pick after me.”

“Looks like he picked young and hip,” Will noted. “Just this side of a twink, though.”

Merlin let his eyes wander over to the corner again. The man with Mordred looked around twenty-two or three, had longish brown hair and an earring.

“Hip, huh?”

Will leaned close to Merlin. “You aren’t jealous, are you?”

“What? No!” Merlin was affronted. “It’s just weird, that’s all. He’s probably _trying_ to make me jealous, don’t you think?”

“O-o-or he really likes this guy. Look, Merlin, seems to me that Mordred’s always on your mind no matter what. When are you going to be finished with him?”

“That’s ridiculous!” Merlin exclaimed before lowering his voice. “So untrue! How could you say that?”

“The man is like a disease. You need to purge him from your system. I suggest some serious fucking.”

“You would.” Merlin drank his beer.

“I’m telling you, Merlin,” Will said knowingly. “You were with him a long time. You’ve only had sex once since. You need to lock yourself in a room with a guy --Pendy Jr. if you insist-- for a couple of days and have at it until old Mordred the Minge is just a distant memory.”

Merlin couldn’t help a sly smile. “That just may happen tomorrow night. Arthur’s invited me over, and it seems we’re going to take the next step in our relationship.”

“Brilliant!”

Merlin laughed. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps you’ll find out he’s Bendy Pendy—What are you looking at now?”

 “Merlin, Will,” Mordred approached the table, holding his twink by the hand.

“Hello, _Mordred_ ,” Will drawled, giving the name the connotation _shit on a stick_.

“This is Garvin,” Mordred told them. The twink smiled and waved.

“Hi, Garvin,” Merlin said, thinking _oh, you poor sap_. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Garvin and I met at the opera,” Mordred told them, and Merlin almost choked on his beer. _This kid was at the opera?_ Will must’ve been having the same thoughts.

“Oh, were you there with your dad?” Will asked Garvin. “Perhaps Mordred was fucking him during intermission and you held his pants.”

“Will!” Merlin said, aghast, although he badly wanted to laugh.

Mordred scowled. “Come on, Garvin. Will has the manners of a slavering dog. Merlin, maybe we’ll meet up with you another time.”

They disappeared into the crowd, and Merlin cracked up. “You’re terrible, Will.”

“And that’s why you love me.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ~~O~~

Merlin found his hands were sweating on the cab ride to Arthur’s Friday night. He’d been unable to get any work done that day, what with his imagination running wild and the X-rated looks Arthur periodically sent him when he passed Merlin’s office. Merlin felt the temperature ratch up a notch every time Arthur came near him. By the end of the day his suit was damp with perspiration.

His ring tone went off and Merlin fumbled for his mobile. It was Gwen.

“Hi, Gwen,” Merlin answered, his eyes landing on what had to be a vomit stain on the floor and shifting his feet away from it.

“Oh, Merlin,” Gwen sniffled.

“Are you crying?” Merlin sat up straighter. Gwen never cried. Well, unless it was during some particularly sappy movie they were watching.

“Merlin…” Gwen’s voice was watery. “Can you come over?”

“Um—“

“Leon’s left.”

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh, Gwen. Sure, I’ll be there shortly.” He ended the call and gave the driver new directions. Scrolling through his contacts, he found Arthur’s name and selected it.

“Merlin, you’re already ten minutes late, so this call better be to ask me what flavor massage oil I prefer,” Arthur answered. “Or else to tell me you’re on the stairs and need my help because your hard-on is making it difficult to walk.”

Merlin huffed a laugh. “Shit, I wish, Arthur. I’m in a cab, and Gwen called crying because Leon left her. She wants me to come over there, and I just couldn’t say no.”

Arthur sighed into the phone. “Well, there’s nothing for it, then. You think you’ll be there all night?”

Merlin echoed his sigh. “Probably. I’m sorry, Arthur. You don’t know how much.”

“I understand. It’ll keep. I’ll just go put my clothes back on.”

“Arthur!”

“Or maybe I’ll take a cold shower first. No—first a wank, then the shower. Or maybe a wank _in_ the shower…”

“Arthur, you aren’t making this easy.” Merlin was getting a bit breathless.

There was a definite smile in Arthur’s voice. “That’s the idea.”

Merlin put his phone back in his pocket and started thinking of unattractive old women. Sporting a woody while on an empathy visit wouldn’t exactly be polite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. A Friend in Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin tries to be there for both Gwen and Leon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who continue to read and let me know they are enjoying it! So nice to come home to the lovely comments.

Merlin found Gwen with mascara all over her face and her nose running. He immediately enveloped her in a hug. “What happened?” he asked into her hair.

“He just said he couldn’t do this anymore,” Gwen mumbled into his shoulder. “He said all I do is talk about Lance!”

“Is that all you do?” Merlin asked, pulling her away and looking into her face.

“No. Well, I talk about him some, but…”

“Gwen.” Merlin sighed. “Why don’t you sit, and I’ll make us some tea, yeah?”

Gwen nodded and headed for the living room. “Put some bourbon in mine!” she called to him.

When they were situated on the sofa, Gwen sniffled, drank some tea, eyed Merlin and said, “Why do you look so nice?” She took a big sniff of air. “And why do you smell so damn good?”

Merlin made a face. “Are you saying I usually look bad and stink?”

“No, but you don’t usually look this good and smell so especially yummy,” Gwen said. “Do you have a date?” Her face changed. “Oh, God, did you break it for me?”

“You’re one of my best mates. Of course I broke it for you.”

Gwen had calmed somewhat, but at this statement she started crying fresh tears. “Oh, Merlin! Leon’s a really great guy, and I know I’ve hurt him.”

“You can’t help how you feel. You need to do what’s right for you.” Merlin patted her hand. He reached for the tissues he’d brought into the room and handed her a few. “Blow your nose.”

Gwen did. Merlin felt his phone vibrate and took it out. A text from Leon.

**At your place. Need somewhere to crash. Where are you?!**

Merlin hurriedly texted a reply.

**Key is over door. Make yourself at home. Not sure when I will be there.**

“I don’t even know if Lance is interested in me,” Gwen wailed from beside him. “I may have ruined everything with Leon for nothing!”

“You don’t want to stay with Leon if you have feelings for someone else! It’s not fair to either of you.” Merlin smoothed Gwen’s hair out of her face.

“You’re such a good friend, Merlin.” Gwen’s breath hitched.  “Who did you have a date with?”

“Arthur. It’s okay,-- we’ll just do it another time.”

Gwen swiped at her blotchy, black-streaked face with the wadded tissue. She took a sip of the tea liberally laced with bourbon. “Oh!” she wailed, looking at the green mug with Yoda’s face on it. “This is Leon’s cup!” She began crying anew.

The doorbell rang, and Merlin got up to answer it. He found Elena standing uncertainly in the hall, a paper sack in her arms. “Gwen called. Something about a breakup?” She walked in.

“Yeah. Leon left.” Merlin shut the door.

“Oh, well, can’t say I didn’t see it coming, the way Gwen’s been mooning over that Lance fellow.”

“I HEARD THAT!” Gwen shouted from the living room, and both Merlin and Elena jumped.

“I brought Hagan Dazs!” Elena called back to her.

“Bring it in here with spoons!” Gwen’s voice trembled.

Merlin went for the silverware and joined them in the living room, where they opened several pints of ice cream and began eating and moaning between bites of shared flavors.

“Merlin,” Gwen said after a while, licking Mint Chip off her upper lip. “If you want to go to Arthur’s, I’ll be okay. Elena’s here…and we have ice cream.”

“You’re my friend, Gwen, and I’m here for you,” Merlin told her around a spoonful of Strawberry. “Although Arthur did say he was naked…” He temporarily became distracted by the thought.

Gwen’s eyes grew wide. “Oh! I’d really like to see that!”

“Who’s Arthur?” Elena wanted to know as she stuffed a huge spoonful of Rum Raisin into her mouth.

“He’s our boss,” Gwen told her, smacking her lips—at the ice cream, Merlin was pretty sure. “Tall, blond, blue eyes…the tightest arse you’ve ever seen…”

“Gwen!” Merlin was a little shocked.

“And unfortunately gay,” Gwen added. “Or is he bi, Merlin?”

“I know he used to be with women, but I think that was just him trying to be conventional,” Merlin answered, reaching over her and getting a spoonful of Caramel Cone.

“Do you think he’d be willing to do a threesome?” Gwen asked, making Merlin almost drop his spoon.

“Make that four!” Elena chimed in.

“Oh, my God, _no_!” Merlin stared at them, his mouth open. “And you do realize I’d be part of that group? I can’t think of anything more awkward. Not to mention the fact that I don’t want you two touching him!”

Gwen laughed. “Oh, Merlin! You’re so funny.” She considered a moment. “I would like to see you two having sex, though. I bet it would be hot.”

“Gwen!” Merlin could feel his face growing red.

“Maybe you could film it? Or I could hide in the closet?”

“GWEN!”

“Okay, okay,” Gwen smiled evilly, glancing at Elena, who quickly averted her eyes from Merlin’s crotch. Merlin crossed his legs.

After they finished off the ice cream, the three lay in the floor, unzipped their pants, and moaned about how stuffed they were and how many calories they must have consumed.

“Leon loves Hagan Dazs,” Gwen said suddenly, her eyes tearing up, then suggested they drink the bourbon without the tea.

“I thought you didn’t like to drink heavily, Gwen,” Merlin pointed out a few drinks later when he noticed her eyes getting blood shot.

“Shut up, this is an emergency.”

“What will you miss most about Leon?” Elena asked her, then quickly dodged the pillow Merlin threw her way. Gwen burst into an explosion of tears.

“Don’t ask her that! What’s wrong with you?” Merlin demanded.

“I’m curious, that’s all!” Elena defended. “Come on, Gwen. This is a time to release it all so you can start fresh.”

“Women,” Merlin said disgustedly when he saw that Gwen was actually pondering the question.

“I’ll miss the little red hairs in the wash basin,” Gwen finally answered in a shaky falsetto.

“Ew!” Merlin cringed. “I hope you mean from his beard!”

“Of course I do, Merlin!” Gwen scolded, a frown marring her face. “You think he’d shave his _groin_ in my sink? What kind of sick freak are you?”

“Sorry!” Merlin held up his hands. “ _Does_ he shave his groin?” he asked curiously.

“That’s none of your business!” Gwen snapped, and Elena broke into a fit of giggling.

“So, are you going to ask Lance out?” she poked Gwen in the side after a moment.

“I don’t know.” Gwen contemplated the ceiling. “Sometimes I think he flirts with me, and sometimes not. Anyway, Leon just left…I probably should observe some appropriate time of mourning.”

“You broke up, Gwen. He’s not dead,” Merlin pointed out. “And you do realize that I’ve been out with Lance and kissed him, right?”

Gwen narrowed her eyes at her friend. “What’s your point?”

“Just wanted you to know I got there first,” Merlin grinned. “And to think about that when you do get to kiss him.”

“I told you, I don’t even know if he’s been flirting with me or not!” Gwen huffed.

“Call him and ask him, Merlin!” Elena suggested, getting up onto her knees. “Go on!”

“What am I supposed to say, for fuck’s sake?” Merlin asked.

“Just if he fancies Gwen.”

“But don’t let him know you’re here with me,” Gwen told him.

“And act casual. Like the answer doesn’t even matter,” Elena put in.

Merlin looked at the ceiling. “If it doesn’t matter, then why am I calling him up to ask?” He sighed. “How did I get into this?”

He pulled his phone out, scrolling through his contacts before remembering he didn’t have Lance’s number. “I’ll have to call Will,” he announced.

“Don’t tell him why!” Gwen ordered. “He’ll say something to Lance.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t get your knickers in a wad.” Merlin dialed. “Will? Hey, yeah. I need Lance’s number. What? Well, no, something came up, and I had to cancel. No, I’m not going to screw Lance. Come on, just fork it over. Will, dammit! None of your business!” Merlin rolled his eyes, cupped his hand around the phone, and turned away from the girls, whispering, “I’ll tell you later.”

“Merlin!” Gwen hissed, kicking him.

Another moment, and he had Lance on the phone. The conversation was short. Merlin asked him if he fancied Gwen. Lance said she was quite pretty and very nice. Merlin asked if that meant he would consider going out with her. Lance said yes, why do you ask? Merlin said he just wanted to know; it wasn’t important.

“Well?” Merlin said to Gwen when he’d disconnected. “Is that good enough for you?”

Gwen wiped her eyes and gave him a wobbly smile. “Yeah, thanks.”

Merlin settled back on the floor, listening to Elena and Gwen natter on about Lance and how good looking he was. He remembered Leon alone in his apartment and thought perhaps he should leave, but he didn’t want to tell Gwen that Leon was there. He waited until Gwen again suggested he go back to his date, and then he told her that, if she was sure, he thought he would.

Instead, he took a taxi home.

On his way there, Merlin phoned Arthur. “Leon’s at my place. Gwen’s friend Elena is with her, but I’m sure Leon could use some cheering up.”

“Why do you have to be so nice?”  Arthur asked on a groan. “Never mind, it’s one of the things I like about you.”

Merlin tucked the phone to his ear as he climbed out of the cab and paid the driver. “What are you wearing?”

Arthur’s voice became velvety soft. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“R-really?” Merlin asked, missing a step and almost falling as he walked into his building.

“Actually, I have on a pair of sweat pants and a rugby shirt,” Arthur answered in his normal voice.

“Tosser. Well, I guess I’ll see you later. Sorry we couldn’t get together tonight.”

“Tell Leon I said hello.”

When Merlin saw Leon’s wrecked face, he was glad he’d returned to his apartment. Leon was a good bloke, and he deserved Merlin’s attention at such a time.

Two days later, when Monday morning rolled around and Leon had still not stirred from Merlin’s flat, Merlin faced Arthur in the lounge over coffee, seriously rethinking things.

“Surely you can get away tonight, Merlin,” Arthur pleaded in a tone that did crazy things to Merlin’s libido.

“I swear, every time I’ve even hinted at going out, he’s looked at me with these sad eyes, and I can’t even think of leaving him!”

“But…I’m desperate, Merlin!” Arthur leaned toward him, and Merlin could smell him—God, _smell_ him! He smelled so _fucking good_!

“Maybe we could just go over in that janitor’s closet for a bit?” Arthur suggested, and Merlin actually turned and contemplated the small room. But no, they deserved more than that. Plus there was no lock, and the janitor was scary.

“We just have to get him on his feet. A place to live. And maybe a girl.”

“Oh, is that all?” Arthur said testily.

“Arthur, you’re taking over the title of King of the Monday Grumps. Aren't there three thousand people having babies and four thousand eating Skittles or something like that? Come on, I’m wracking my brain here. Surely you know a lovely lady who might like to go out with Leon?”

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the counter. Merlin could see he was thinking, so he left him to it while he refilled his cup. When he looked back up, Arthur’s eyes were on the door and his face alight. Merlin turned to see Morgana standing there.

“Morgana! You’ve come just in time.” The smile on Arthur’s face was pure delight.

Morgana immediately looked suspicious.

“What are you up to?” she asked.

“Nothing at all! Merlin and I were just discussing how nice it would be if you had dinner with us tonight. At his place.” He looked at Merlin, and they both smiled.


	13. A Good Shag is Worth Its Weight in Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin get busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sex. :D

“I’ve never had a set up work so well,” Arthur said with satisfaction as he watched Leon and Morgana talking in the living room, so obviously taken with one another.

Merlin wrapped an arm around Arthur’s waist. “Brilliant, that’s all I can say. Now we just have to find him a place to live, and I think I’ve done that.”

Arthur turned to look at him. “Really? Where? And how did you do it so fast?”

Merlin grinned. “Will’s decided to get a flat mate. His rent’s going up, and he doesn’t want to feel the crunch. I spoke to him today over lunch.”

Arthur leaned in and kissed Merlin. “If they hadn’t just met, I’d leave them here together and drag you over to mine,” he whispered into Merlin’s mouth.

“Mmm,” Merlin pulled Arthur back into the kitchen and began kissing him earnestly, his hands tangling in his soft hair. Arthur planted his own palms firmly on each of Merlin’s arse cheeks and tugged him as close as possible, his mouth moving desperately as he tried to devour him whole.

“What happened to taking it slow, Arthur?” Merlin teased.

“I must’ve been crazy…”

The sound of someone clearing their throat brought them apart in an instant. Morgana and Leon stood in the doorway, coats in hand. “We’re heading out for a bit,” Morgana said. “I was going to say ‘hope you don’t mind,’ but I get the feeling you won’t.”

“That’s fine, run along,” Arthur waved a hand toward the doorway. Morgana laughed, and they left the apartment.

“Fuck, I can’t believe it!” Merlin groaned. “Alone at last!”

Arthur already had his shirt half-off.  “Merlin, I haven’t been able to get your mouth out of my mind,” he stared at it hungrily.

“Bedroom,” Merlin demanded, reduced to single word commands by the fact that all the blood had left his brain to travel southward. He unbuttoned his own shirt and slid it off his shoulders as he followed Arthur down the hall.

When they fell onto the bed, it was in a tangle of naked limbs. Merlin couldn’t stop sucking on Arthur’s neck—it tasted so fucking good. He had to touch every part of him-- Arthur’s hands on his skin were making Merlin shake with need. Their bodies fit together so perfectly. After that first night they’d been together, Merlin had found himself wondering if maybe he’d romanticized it a bit in his mind, but once again he found himself lost in Arthur; the way he tasted, smelled, felt…Merlin just had to put his mouth all over him. There wasn’t any part of him he didn’t want to taste.

Arthur began to pant. He had Merlin pressed into the mattress, and Merlin could feel every breath the other man took. Their hearts pressed together, both rapid. Skimming his hands over Arthur’s smooth back, Merlin reached down and stroked the soft globes of Arthur’s ass.

“Oh, fuck,” Arthur groaned before taking Merlin’s mouth in a demanding kiss.

“Come up here,” Merlin invited, and Arthur crawled up the bed until he was straddling Merlin’s chest. Slowly, feeling deliciously wanton, Merlin opened his mouth wide, inviting Arthur in.

Breath coming faster, Arthur seemed mesmerized by the sight of Merlin’s open mouth. Merlin clasped the backs of Arthur’s thighs, nudging him forward. When the tip of Arthur’s cock passed Merlin’s lips, Arthur’s head fell back, and he cried out. Merlin sucked, loving the feeling of soft velvet skin over steely hardness. He reached up with one of his hands and stroked Arthur’s crack. Arthur began to move, and Merlin encouraged him by humming around his cock. Arthur trembled and slowly began to fuck Merlin’s mouth. Merlin pressed on Arthur’s thighs, urging him to give up on restraint and do as he wished. Arthur let out a small noise before beginning to pump in earnest. It wasn’t easy, but Merlin took it. He’d done similar things for Mordred, but it had been at Mordred’s insistence, not because Merlin wanted to, as he did with Arthur. He enjoyed the submission the act implied. He liked the feel of Arthur kneeling over him, almost chocking him with his prick. But more than anything, he liked the way the act made Arthur moan and suck his breath between his teeth. Arthur placed his hands on Merlin’s shoulders, and they were gentle in spite of his passion. His eyes stayed glued to the sight of his prick thrusting in and out of Merlin’s mouth. Merlin relaxed his throat, allowing Arthur’s cock to hit the back of it, sticking his tongue out as far as he could, trying but not quite succeeding to touch the base with the tip. Arthur shuddered violently, cum shooting down Merlin’s throat. Merlin swallowed, wrenching another moan out of Arthur.

Arthur’s hands threaded through Merlin’s hair, stroking lovingly. Merlin tasted more cum spurting into his mouth, loving it because it was Arthur’s. Arthur finally withdrew, and Merlin licked his lips appreciatively.

“Fuck, Merlin… that was…so…”

Merlin smiled. “Lie down,” he told him.

Completely wrecked, Arthur thankfully sank into the mattress. Merlin crawled up behind him pushing Arthur’s knees up to his sides.

“Merlin!” Arthur gasped when Merlin touched his hole with his tongue. “Holy shit! Are you t-trying to kill me?”

“Want to eat you, Arthur,” Merlin said against his skin. “Taste every bit of you. Then, later, I want you to fuck me senseless.”

Arthur’s moan was barely audible, but Merlin heard it and smiled, his tongue flicking against the puckered flesh. He found he loved to bury his face in Arthur’s ass. He loved the way Arthur bucked against the bed and whimpered into the pillow. He loved the way he clenched his opening around Merlin’s tongue when it pierced him. He loved the sob he pulled from Arthur’s throat as he pointed his tongue and fucked him with it.

When Merlin was good and finished, satisfied that he’d fulfilled every one of his fantasies concerning Arthur and that particular sex act, Arthur was reduced to a mass of whimpering manhood. Before getting up, Merlin sucked love bites onto each of Arthur’s pretty ass cheeks, branding him. His own cock was dribbling. He’d come the first time Arthur had cried out his name, his voice hoarse with desire and his body humping helplessly against the sheets.

Falling to rest beside Arthur, Merlin threw a leg over his body possessively as he listened to Arthur’s breathing evening out. Something blossomed inside Merlin, then, and he sighed contentedly, dropping into sleep.

                                                                                                ~~O~~

Merlin awoke to the singular feeling of being fucked into the mattress. Arthur was inside him up to the hilt, his body draped over Merlin’s back, his tongue tracing Merlin’s ear.

“Oh, shit!” Merlin groaned. “Man, Arthur—uuh!” The fact that Merlin’s legs were almost closed and the angle at which Arthur was pounding into him made it feel so damn good…

Even as it slowly came apart, Merlin’s mind registered that it was dark outside. Everything was quiet except for Arthur’s breaths in Merlin’s ear and the slick sounds of Arthur’s cock plowing into Merlin’s ass. Sensation tightened inside Merlin before slowly beginning  to unfurl, Arthur cresting along with him, both men grappling at the sheets and then for each other’s hands before entwining them as they rode out their powerful orgasms.

Sweating and replete, they lay side by side in the darkness. “That’s some way to wake a fellow,” Merlin chuckled breathlessly. “I need you on Monday mornings.”

“I woke up and saw you…and I just had to have you,” Arthur confided softly, making Merlin’s heart go all soft. “I hope you don’t mind…you said you wanted me to, earlier.”

Merlin smiled, reaching out to stroke a finger down Arthur’s sweat-dampened arm. “Of course I don’t mind. It was wonderful.”

When Merlin had thought about it earlier, he’d been a bit worried about being with Arthur in the bed he’d shared so long with Mordred, but as it turned out, his ex had been the furthest thing from his mind. And Mordred was no cuddler, as Arthur was. Merlin found himself growing very fond of being pulled into Arthur’s side, his head cradled against Arthur’s chest.

The faint tones of Merlin’s mobile drifted from outside the room.

“Is that Yazoo?” Arthur asked as Merlin scampered into the hallway to find his jeans. “I love that song.”

Merlin smiled as he came back fumbling in the pocket. “Yeah, me, too.” He answered the phone. “Yeah? Oh, hi, Leon. Um…sure. We’ll talk tomorrow. Yeah. Bye.” Merlin looked at Arthur. “Well, I guess Leon and Morgana hit it off—he’s staying at hers tonight.” He grinned before joining Arthur again on the bed.

Arthur kissed him thoroughly. “I just hope Gwen doesn’t hate you for fixing Leon up,” he said when he’d pulled away.

Merlin froze, his mind slowly changing gears after the distracting snog. “Shit, I didn’t think about that! I won’t mention it.”

“She’ll find out. Women always do.”

“Buggers. But Gwen’s interested in Lance…”

“Won’t matter. She still won’t like the duplicitous hand you played in finding Leon a girlfriend.” Arthur tucked his arm under his head. “Sorry, but you’re screwed.”

“I’ll blame it on you! It was your idea to get Morgana, after all.”

Arthur feigned surprise. “Throwing me under the bus, are you? And here I thought you cared.” He smiled. “Well, I’ll do it for you. But I still think Gwen will be angry with you even if it’s just for being associated with me.”

And Arthur was right about that. The minute Gwen heard that Leon was seeing Morgana, which was less than twenty-four hours after it happened, she zeroed in on Merlin like a heat-seeking missile.

“You did this, didn’t you?” she seethed, having cornered Merlin in his office and shut the door.

“Did what?” Merlin tried to look as innocent as possible.

“Don’t play dumb! You played a part in getting Leon hooked up with gorgeous, voluptuous, Morgana Le Fay! You complete, utter _arse_!”

“Um…Arthur did that.”

“And Arthur’s your boyfriend, so you’re just as guilty!” Gwen looked around the room, finally grabbing a coffee mug off Merlin’s desk and throwing it. They watched as it landed on the carpet with a rather disappointing thud. “Merlin, you’ll be lucky if I ever speak to you again!” Gwen rounded on him. “What if I want to get back with Leon?”

“But you don’t, Gwen!” Merlin objected.

“Don’t tell me what I don’t want!” Gwen stomped her foot and flared her nostrils in a way that reminded Merlin of a horse. He knew Gwen wouldn’t appreciate the comparison.

“Would it help that I got you a date with Lance?” Merlin asked. He hadn’t, but he would as soon as BAMF!Gwen left.

Gwen’s expression immediately changed, going from terrifying to beatific in seconds. “You _did_? Oh, Merlin!”

“Yes, now details later, I’m right in the middle of some important work.” Merlin ushered her out before she could say another word, leaning against the closed door and taking a deep, cleansing breath.


	14. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their relationship grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the comments and kudos. I love reading what you have to say!

“What’s this?” Arthur asked later that week. It was the first time he’d been back to Merlin’s since the weekend. He sat in the kitchen chair, Lolly winding in and out of his legs, and held the piece of paper Merlin had been reading before rushing off to work that morning. “Sorry—I was attracted by the hospital header.” He put the paper down. “You’re all right, aren’t you?”

Arthur’s concern touched Merlin, along with the fact that he didn’t read the letter.

“It’s just a clean bill of health. After Mordred, I had a complete physical.” He colored. “I suspected him of being unfaithful. I just wanted to make sure I was clean.”

Arthur smiled. “That’s brilliant! And not just because you’re healthy, although that’s the best part of it.” Arthur stood. “I always have myself checked at my yearly physical, and I’m clean, too.” He stepped forward. “I can show you the papers, if you like.” He pulled Merlin toward him, pressing their foreheads together. “What I’m saying is, we can dispense with the use of condoms if you want.”

Merlin thought about having Arthur inside him with nothing between them. “I definitely do want,” he answered, his lips seeking Arthur’s as a joyful feeling mounting inside him.

Later, after he’d assured Arthur he didn’t need to see the paper, Merlin had fucked him slowly against the shower wall, almost delirious with the feeling of his bare cock inside Arthur’s rectum. He bit Arthur’s neck and pinched his nipples until Arthur moaned helplessly, pushing back onto him. Merlin was high on the feeling of power he had when taking Arthur. He loved driving him over the edge—making Arthur’s beautiful mouth make nonsensical sounds. He’d never felt this way before, and when the practical part of his brain tried to tell him that he didn’t have a hell of a lot of experience to draw on, his heart pushed it aside and told him he was falling in love.

As they lay in bed, Arthur too spent to get dressed and go home, Arthur ran his fingers listlessly over Merlin’s bare back, pressing intermittent kisses to his still-damp hair.

“I happened to notice the other morning as I was drying off after a shower that I have some rather filthy love-bites on my arse,” he said bemusedly.

“Really? How strange,” Merlin murmured into his chest. “Perhaps you were abducted in your sleep by naughty arse-loving aliens.”

“Perhaps,” Arthur replied, hugging Merlin to him. “But I do have a boyfriend who loves to latch onto my neck with his teeth when he fucks me…”

Merlin couldn’t help the bubble of pleasure that arose within him at the word ‘boyfriend’ coming out of Arthur’s mouth, even as another part of him absurdly balked at the thought of being claimed again by a man so soon after Mordred.

“You know, Merlin.” Arthur’s hand stopped moving over his back, and he reached with his other hand to tilt Merlin’s chin toward him so that their eyes met. “You don’t have to mark me. I’m already yours. I think I have been from the moment I saw you.”

Merlin’s face colored, his heart speeding up at Arthur’s words. Leaning up on an elbow, he pressed his lips to Arthur’s, his tongue wandering into the other man’s mouth, searching. Arthur met it with his own, sliding them together in a slick dance that made Merlin want him all over again. Merlin climbed on top of him, pressing him down with his body, skin against skin, warm and inviting. Arthur seemed to understand Merlin’s need for dominance, just as he always seemed to understand Merlin. Although Merlin had thoroughly enjoyed being fucked by Arthur the other night, he found he vastly preferred to have Arthur yield to him. He knew there were psychological reasons for this, and could only hope that once satisfied, he would be able to revert to a more give-and-take relationship with Arthur. In the meantime, Arthur didn’t appear to have any complaints.

Merlin kissed his way down Arthur’s body, and Arthur’s mobile rang just as Merlin sucked one of Arthur’s balls into his mouth. Arthur felt for it on the nightstand and answered, Merlin smiling around his prize, jostling it a bit with his tongue just to hear Arthur’s voice waver as he spoke. When he hung up, Arthur peered down at him, his face lax with pleasure.

“Thanks, Merlin, you just gave my—aahh!—sister a month’s worth of ammo.”

Merlin allowed the soft sack to drop out of his mouth as he smiled evilly. “What did she want?”

“For us to meet her and Leon for drinks after work tomorrow. Oh, God, Merlin!” Merlin took the other testicle into his mouth and sucked on it lovingly. Arthur put a finger to Merlin’s lips, rubbing them. Merlin turned his head and took the finger in, tonguing it playfully as Arthur’s breath sped up. Arthur had told him recently during lunch that Merlin’s enthusiasm while giving him head was an extreme turn-on. That he always looked as though he was having the time of his life sucking Arthur’s cock. Merlin had replied that there was good reason for that---he _was_ having the time of his life—which had made Arthur so horny, he’d had to go into the men’s room for a wank.

Merlin moved his attention to Arthur’s cock, licking it while making “um, delicious” noises before sucking it in and bobbing over it, slurping filthily as Arthur watched him with lust-heavy eyes. When Merlin had Arthur almost there, he backed off, kissing his thighs softly until Arthur calmed down.

“Fuck, Merlin! Please!” Arthur groaned. Merlin smiled and started the process all over again, reducing Arthur to a quivering mass within seconds. But when Arthur started begging him brokenly, and Merlin automatically asked him “for what,” Merlin was suddenly seized with such a strong feeling of shame, he pulled away from Arthur and sat up.

Chest heaving, Arthur looked at him, bewildered and panting. “What? What’s wrong?”

“I’m, er…” Merlin swallowed, moving off the bed. “I’m sorry.” He grabbed his robe and headed for the living room. It took several minutes for Arthur to follow, and Merlin imagined he’d had to take care of the raging hard-on Merlin had left him with. Merlin sat on the couch, pondering the darkness around him, listening to Lolly licking and nibbling at her fur over on the chair.

When Arthur did appear, he simply sat beside Merlin, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close. He’d put on a pair of Merlin’s sweat pants, and they were obscenely tight. Merlin leaned into him, his heart full.

“Want to talk about it?” Arthur asked quietly, kissing Merlin’s head.

“I just…” Merlin began. “Um, I don’t know. I sort of had a flashback. To, um, all the times…Mordred, well…” he couldn’t go on.

Arthur squeezed him closer. “It’s okay. You’ve told me enough about the dynamics of your relationship for me to get the jist. But Merlin…you making me beg for it doesn’t bother me in the least. In fact, it’s hot as hell.”

“Really?” Merlin looked up at Arthur, admiring the sharp line of his jaw, the tossled boyishness of his hair.

“Definitely. And if you’re honest with yourself and really think about it, I’m sure you’ll realize there’s a big difference between what you were doing to me and what I’m assuming Mordred did to you.”

Merlin considered. Mordred had demanded, maliciously withholding Merlin’s pleasure for Mordred’s own gratification. Merlin had simply asked. He would have given Arthur everything he wanted regardless.

Merlin snuggled into Arthur’s side. “You’re right. I just couldn’t stand that sudden feeling that—I’d become him.”

“You couldn’t possibly,” Arthur replied, pulling the throw from the back of the sofa and covering them, moving so that they were stretched out together, Merlin’s head cradled on Arthur’s bare chest. Lolly hopped up and joined them, curling into a ball between their legs. After a while, they fell asleep like that.

                                                                                                ~~O~~

Several weeks went by, with quiet holidays among them. Merlin and Arthur exchanged simple gifts and went out New Year’s Eve with all their friends, including Leon and Morgana, who had become increasing inseparable.  Lance and Gwen had been with them also, but the discomfort between the two couples had grown to the point that Lance had suggested they take off for his parents’ house, where they were having a party. Will had acquired a new girlfriend by the name of Sophia. She seemed a little self-absorbed to Merlin, but it was a little early to judge. Midnight had brought a glorious kiss from Arthur, and Merlin had never felt happier.

As the new year settled in, Merlin attempted to show Will a bit more attention, since he’d been very wrapped up in Arthur since they began dating exclusively. They began meeting once a week at The Griffin after work.

“Your Arthur seems very even-tempered,” Will remarked during one of these get-togethers. “Does he ever get mad?”

“I’ve seen him go off on employees,” Merlin replied, stirring his drink. “It’s quite hot, actually. But he’s never really been angry with me. We get along well.”

Will smiled. “I’m glad you’re happy, mate. You deserve it. Which reminds me…Maniacal Mordred seems to have dropped his twink. I’ve seen him lately with an older man.”

“Older?” Merlin asked, a little surprised. “Like how much older?”

Will smiled. “Like grey hair older. Can you believe it?”

Merlin couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried. That simply didn’t fit Mordred’s m.o.

“They seem quite close,” Will continued. “Mordred looked happy.”

Merlin raised his brows. “Well, I guess I’m happy for him, then.”

Will cocked his head. “No jealousy?”

Merlin considered. “None.” He grinned, and Will grinned back at him.

                                                                                ~~O~~

When Valentine’s Day rolled around, Merlin found himself choosing red satin boxers as Arthur’s gift. He admittedly had a fixation on Arthur’s arse—finding himself staring at it at odd times. Was it any wonder, with the pleasure it brought him? Gwen had caught him doing it at work and had given him a filthy grin, as if reminding him that she thought it spectacular, too.

Merlin had found himself relaxing into his relationship with Arthur as time went on, feeling less and less like he had to mount him just to prove something to himself. He’d begun bottoming more often, and he’d noticed that Arthur had taken to making love to him rather than fucking him. Their couplings were slow and languorous of late, often moving Merlin to tears.

And he was happy. So happy.

However, when Arthur asked him to move in with him over a bottle of Valentine’s Day wine and dinner at Gordon Ramsay, Merlin found himself panicking.

“Um, don’t you think it’s a bit soon?” Merlin asked, playing with the food on his plate.

Arthur regarded him. “If I thought so, I wouldn’t have asked. But…if you think it is, I guess we’ll wait.”

Merlin looked miserably at his hands. “I…, that is, well. Can I think about it?”

Arthur smiled. “Of course. It’s not like I’m going to change my mind.”

Merlin smiled uncertainly. “It’s not that I don’t know how I feel, Arthur, it’s just…”

“I know. I get it. I was a little afraid you’d react this way, but I had to ask.” Arthur pressed his lips together. “It’s just important to me that you know I’m in this for the long haul, okay?”

Merlin nodded, unable to drag his eyes from Arthur’s. They shone in the light of the candles like two pools at midnight. A movement behind him caught Merlin’s attention.

“Merlin! Imagine seeing you here!” Mordred stood behind Arthur. He wore a suit and tie and was accompanied by an older, distinguished-looking man.

“Frederick, this is my ex, Merlin. I’ve spoken about him to you, I’m sure. Merlin, this is Frederick Lemings.”

The older man smiled and held out his hand. Merlin rose and shook it. “Nice to meet you. This is Arthur Pendragon, Frederick. Er, Mordred, I believe you and Arthur have met.” Frederick didn’t seem to notice the antagonistic head nods given between Arthur and Mordred.

“Pendragon? Are you by any chance Uther’s son?” Frederick asked, his eyes lighting up.

“Yes, I am,” Arthur smiled.

“Uther and I go way back,” Frederick told him. “Please tell him I said hello. Well, Mordred, shall we? I’ve reserved a place in the back.” The two walked away, and Arthur and Merlin resumed their seats.

“Seems a bit old for him, doesn’t he?” Arthur asked.

“Yes,” Merlin agreed. “He’s not at all the type Mordred usually goes for. I wonder what happened to the twink he was dating? Gordon or something like that.”

Arthur shrugged, taking a sip of his wine. “Let’s forget about him before he makes it difficult to digest our food. How is the romance between Lance and Gwen going? I keep seeing them making cow eyes across the room and sometimes talking in the corridor.”

“Gwen is basically head-over-heels for him,” Merlin replied. “And I think Lance feels the same. I expect them to marry and have a dozen children one day.”

“Sounds nice,” Arthur said softly, staring into his glass and not meeting Merlin’s look of surprise.

Later, when Arthur took Merlin back to his flat, Merlin was shocked to find it completely lit by candles. Soft music played over the sound system, and a path of red rose petals led to the bedroom where they were sprinkled liberally over the white comforter. A bottle of champagne chilled on the dresser with two flutes beside it.

“Oh, Arthur!” he gasped, awestruck. Merlin turned and gazed at him where he stood leaning against the door frame, so blond and beautiful in the candlelight, his blue tie pulled askew and the top button of his white shirt undone. Arthur stepped toward him, holding out his hand.

“Dance with me?” he asked. Merlin smiled, settling into his arms. As they pressed together, swaying to the music, Merlin thought he’d never been happier.

That night Arthur made love to Merlin until he tingled all over, every nerve ending in his body taut and thrumming. There wasn’t an inch of him that didn’t experience Arthur’s attention, his fingers, lips, and tongue eagerly exploring every nook and crevice Merlin had.

They fell asleep entwined about one other, sweat glistening on their bodies in the dwindling candlelight.


	15. Trouble in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything can't be perfect.

Months passed. Spring arrived, along with its temperate winds and budding trees. Merlin’s life seemed to have fallen together; he was doing well at work, even attracting the attention and praise of Uther Pendragon. And his love life was spectacular. Merlin sometimes caught himself wondering how his relationship with Arthur could be so perfect. He often felt he couldn’t ever get enough of the man. He wanted to be with him all the time, and it was a bit frightening. When Arthur had to go out of town unexpectedly at Uther’s behest, Merlin found himself at loose ends and unable to calm himself, while at the same time wanting to kick himself for being so needy.

Gwen noticed him fidgeting when she brought him his mail one morning on the third day of Arthur’s absence. “Merlin, Arthur’s only been gone a few days, and your hair’s sticking up, your eyes are a bit wild, and your suit jacket looks like it’s been run over by a car.”

Merlin looked down at his jacket. He slipped out of it and hung it on the back of his chair. Gwen closed the door to his office and sat down. “What’s the problem?”

“I’m just so used to Arthur being around,” Merlin said miserably. “I can’t sleep!”

“But you two don’t even live together, although I can’t imagine why. Lance and I are moving in together this weekend.” She gave him a shy smile.

Merlin’s answering grin was wide. “That’s wonderful! You two are a brilliant fit.”

“So are you and Arthur. Any reason you aren’t living together yet?”

Merlin sighed, rubbing at his eyes. He wasn’t kidding when he said he couldn’t sleep. He and Arthur spent most nights together, and when they didn’t, they spoke on the phone before bed—something that calmed Merlin and made him feel all was right with the world. This stupid trip Arthur was on kept him so busy, he was unable to phone him at all. Merlin had received a few rushed text messages that were so garbled in their haste, they were laughable. Merlin couldn’t wait to show them to Arthur when he returned.

“He asked me to move in with him back in February,” Merlin admitted. “I just couldn’t do it. Not after Mordred.”

Gwen looked at him pityingly. “Oh, Merlin. Arthur is not Mordred.”

“I know.” The phone on his desk rang and Gwen picked it up for him.

“Merlin Emrys’s office,” she said in her professional executive secretary tone. “Why yes…he’s right here.” She held the phone out with a cocked eyebrow. Merlin took it, watching her disappear out the door, closing it behind her.

“Merlin Emrys,” he intoned.

“Merlin! God, it’s good to hear from you!” Arthur’s voice was like balm to Merlin’s wounds. His body relaxed.

“Arthur! I miss you so much!” he breathed.

“Me, too, love. I’m in a bit of a rush, but I had to speak to Father and had the operator connect me with you. I’m so sorry I haven’t had any time to talk. Things here are awful. If I can’t convince this company to stay with us, it’s going to be disastrous. Father is really counting on me.”

“You will,” Merlin said sincerely. “Who could resist you? I certainly couldn’t.”

“I’m not exactly using the same tactics with Mr. Cavendish as I did with you,” Arthur laughed.

“You’d better not be!” Merlin teased.

“Oh, fuck…I have to go. Listen, I hate to tell you this, but I won’t be home Saturday as planned. In fact, I’m not sure when it’ll be. Cavendish wants me to spend the weekend on his yacht with him, which translates to being a prisoner while I listen to him drone on about his racing horses, wanting to puke every minute but having to keep an interested face. I’ll call you as soon as I can get time, but it won’t be over the weekend.” Merlin heard him cover the receiver and speak to someone before getting back to him. “I’m sorry, Merlin. You don’t know how much. I love you.” His voice was sincere and regretful. He rang off before Merlin could reply.

Merlin’s heart had taken a dive when he’d heard that Arthur wasn’t going to be back on Saturday, only to burst forth like a rocket when he’d told Merlin he loved him. _He’s never said that before,_ Merlin thought wonderingly. It wasn’t as though Merlin hadn’t suspected it and certainly felt it many times, but still. Hearing it was brilliant.

He knew he must look love-sick and girlish, sitting at his desk, Arthur’s words ringing in his ears and Merlin’s fingers itching to grab the nearest pen and doodle hearts all over his desk calendar. Instead, he buzzed Gwen. The moment she was inside the office, Merlin grabbed her into an enormous hug and twirled her across the room.

“Arthur said he loves me!” he trilled into her shocked face. “He loves me, Gwen!” His grin was irrepressible.

“That’s certainly no surprise to me!” Gwen told him, grasping his arms to keep herself steady. “What surprises me is that it’s new information to you!”

“I suppose I haven’t given him a lot of encouragement to say it,” Merlin replied. “And I haven’t even said it back to him. He had to go—and he isn’t coming home Saturday after all!” In his euphoria, Merlin had forgotten this bit of information. He slumped onto the leather sofa.

Gwen’s mouth thinned. “I was afraid of that when I heard Uther talking about the lack of progress on Arthur’s end. Sorry, Merlin. Perhaps you could come for dinner Saturday night…Lance should be all moved in Friday, and I can make a roast.”

“No offense, Gwen, but seeing you and Lance in domestic bliss isn’t going to help me. Thanks, though.”

What Merlin ended up doing Saturday night was going to The Griffin with Will. His friend had had a nasty break up with Sophia and wanted to drown his sorrows in whiskey.

“I thought she was it, Merlin,” Will said melodramatically into his drink. “I’m going to turn gay and forget women altogether.”

“Okay, mate,” Merlin said sympathetically. “I’ll fix you up with someone. How about that bloke over by the door? He’s a looker.”

Will turned bleary eyes that way. Merlin watched with barely suppressed humor, fully expecting Will to make a face and back down. Merlin knew the man by the door—his name was Steve somebody. He was rather flamboyantly gay and certain to turn Will off.

“Sure,” Will surprised him by saying.

“Will, you’re trashed,” Merlin told him. “You aren’t gay.”

“I’m serious, Merlin!” Will told him, drinking more whiskey and slumping into his chair. “Women just hurt me. And it’s not as if I’ve never had an occasional thought about men.”

“You have not!” Merlin reared back, astounded. “You have never thought about men, or I would’ve heard about it.”

Will smiled mischievously. “You don’t know everything about me, you know. I wasn’t going to tell you I sometimes got hard at the gym…you’d never let me live it down!”

“Will!” Merlin had to be dreaming.

“Come’ere.” Before Merlin knew what was happening, Will grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss.

“Ew! God, Will!” Merlin wiped his mouth. “Have you gone mad?”

Will laughed mirthlessly, getting up from the table. Merlin watched in horror as his friend made his way across the bar, stopped to speak to Steve, and then disappeared with him out the door.

Merlin’s mouth was still hanging open when someone sat down across from him. He blinked and looked back, more than a little dismayed to see Mordred sitting there, looking fresh and handsome in jeans and a green jumper.

“Hi,” Mordred said, sprawling into his chair in a manner that was very familiar to Merlin and brought their time as a couple back with a slam.

“Hi,” Merlin said, pressing his lips together. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been busy. Seeing a lot of Fred.”

“Thought it was ‘Frederick’,” Merlin replied with more than a little sarcasm.

Mordred shrugged. “So maybe I was being a bit pompous that night. I don’t care for your boyfriend.”  
  
“I noticed. The feeling is mutual, I assure you. So where _is_ Fred tonight?”

“Had to go to his granddaughter’s sweet sixteen.”

“Oh my God, Mordred, the man’s ancient!” Merlin gushed before thinking. He clamped his mouth shut, fully expecting Mordred to lay into him for his words.

Instead, Mordred surprised him by laughing. “He is a bit older than I am, but we click.” He looked steadily at Merlin. “I really did care for you, Merlin. It drove home when you broke things off between us. Now that I’m in a relationship that’s a bit healthier, I can see things more clearly.”

“Is this your way of apologizing for being an utter dick?” Merlin asked doubtfully.

“I wasn’t that bad,” Mordred said, eating a few nuts out of the bowl on the table. “We had some good times.” His boyish face brightened. “Remember the road trip we took our first summer together? Remember those horrible geese?”

An entire gaggle had chased them out of the field where they were having a picnic. Mordred had had to go back for his shoes, looking over his shoulder in fear the entire time. Merlin laughed at the memory.

“You’ve never been very good with farm animals. Remember the petting zoo?”

They became lost in shared memories, and before Merlin knew it, the bar was closing.

“This has been nice,” Mordred told him. He reached over and squeezed Merlin’s hand before getting up and stretching. “I’m heading to Fred’s. He should be home asleep, but I promised I’d slip into bed with him.”

Merlin couldn’t help thinking that Fred was probably in the sack by nine most nights, but he refrained from saying so. He smiled at Mordred, said goodnight, and watched him go.

The bartender wiped up the bar and waved to him when Merlin passed, one of the last to leave. As he walked down the street, enjoying the balmy night air, he thought about how good it felt not to be on poor terms with Mordred. Their talk had felt like a turning point for them. He felt Mordred was growing as a person, and that made Merlin surprisingly happy. Old feelings for him that had been trampled and kicked to the side by nastiness and resentment sprang forth and clicked into place, giving Merlin a sense of completion. He didn’t imagine that he and Mordred would ever be besties, but it was a start. He couldn’t help smiling as he walked.

Remembering Will, he fished out his mobile and dialed him. Will sounded half-asleep.

“What happened with Steve?” Merlin asked.

“Mutual hand job,” Will answered in his typical get-right-to-the-point fashion. “Not too bad. Are you at home?”

“Almost. I ended up having a conversation with Mordred, of all people. He really seems happy with this Fred guy.”

“The old man? Will wonders never cease.” Will yawned. “Well, thanks for checking in on me. You’re a great friend. Be safe.”

“In sight of my place now. ‘Night, Will.” Merlin hung up and hurried home.

                                                                                ~~O~~

As good as Merlin felt about having a friendly conversation with his ex, Arthur was not amused when Merlin mentioned it during one of their few phone conversations the following week.

“I don’t know why you’re so upset about it,” Merlin said honestly. In fact, he didn’t think he’d ever heard Arthur use that particular tone with him.

“You really don’t know why?” Arthur asked tightly. “Merlin, think of what the son of a bitch has put you through!”

Merlin bristled. “I think I know more than anybody what he’s put me through, Arthur, and if I’m willing to get over it, then I don’t see why you should be bothered.”

“I’m bothered because I love you!” Arthur burst out. “Fuck, Merlin. I don’t want to leave things like this, but I have to go. I’ll call you when I can.” Once again, he rang off before Merlin could digest his words or tell him he felt the same.

Being at odds with Arthur made Merlin feel like he was wearing his shoes on the wrong feet and his clothes inside out. He just didn’t get why Arthur was so riled up about Mordred, of all people. Merlin wasn’t in love with Mordred!

 Merlin was in a terrible mood for the rest of the day. Arthur didn’t call him back, and Merlin thought about texting him but was unable to come up with anything to say. He didn’t want to get into a deep discussion that way, or tell Arthur his feelings in a text. He wasn’t even sure of his feelings. Not about Arthur—he knew he loved Arthur. But he didn’t know how that love translated. He was still afraid to take a bigger step with him, and he didn’t care for Arthur trying to dictate his relationship with his ex-boyfriend. In fact, every time Merlin thought about that, he became more and more indignant. When he found out that Arthur would be home that Friday, he didn’t know what he was going to say to him. Arthur hadn’t called him—he’d gotten the information through Gwen. Merlin stewed about that for a while, only slightly mollified when a text came through from Arthur with his flight information, asking Merlin to meet him at the airport.

Merlin concentrated on his excitement about seeing Arthur again and decided to leave the rest to happen on its own.


	16. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin struggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Severe smugness on Will's part.

When Merlin laid eyes on Arthur coming toward him in baggage claim, he felt such a rush of love and relief it overwhelmed him.

  
“Arthur…” he said, eyes wide. Arthur stopped within a foot of him, placed his hand on Merlin’s cheek, and then leaned in. Their kiss was soft and spoke of a million things. Arms wrapped about one another, they walked out of the airport.

  
They took a taxi to Arthur’s.

  
“Did everything work out with Cavendish?” Merlin asked Arthur when they’d gotten inside and Arthur had set his bag in the bedroom.

  
“Yeah, it did. I honestly think the man just wanted to keep me on pins and needles.” They stood looking at each other a moment. “I really missed you, Merlin,” Arthur said with such sincerity in his voice, Merlin was moved to step forward and wrap his arms around Arthur, holding him close.

  
“I missed you, too, you prat,” he said into Arthur’s shoulder.

  
Arthur gave him a squeeze but then stepped away. “I didn’t like being angry with you on the phone, but…Merlin, I just can’t stand the thought of you talking to that prick!”

  
“Mordred?” Merlin asked.

  
“Oh my God, yes, Mordred! How many pricks do you know?” Arthur agitatedly ran his hand through his hair. “Merlin, the man has scarred you! You know he has. I’ve spent months trying to erase the trauma he’s put you through!”

  
Merlin bristled at that. “You make me sound like some kind of charity project!”

  
“Of course not, Merlin.” Arthur frowned, looking at the floor. “I want…” he raised his eyes and looked at him softly. “I want so much more with you, Merlin. So much more.”

  
And although these words warmed Merlin’s heart, they turned his gut to ice. He didn’t say anything, just looked into Arthur’s gorgeous blue eyes and waited.

  
Arthur reached out and touched his arm. “I want…God, Merlin! I want to be with you for the rest of my life! I want a house…a dog…maybe kids!” His brow furrowed at Merlin’s blank expression.

  
“Lolly wouldn’t like that,” Merlin tried at levity because he honestly didn’t know how to react.

  
“What, the dog or the kids?”

  
“Dog.” Merlin bit his lip. “I don’t think I would like the kids part.” Merlin turned away and could swear he felt his words pierce Arthur’s heart.

  
There were several beats of uncomfortable silence in which Merlin took deep breaths and tried to think how he could salvage the situation. Their relationship. Because although he balked at taking things to a more serious level, he knew he didn’t want to lose Arthur. Couldn’t lose Arthur.

  
“Arthur…I’m trying. Really.” He turned around and pressed his palm to Arthur’s face. “There isn’t anyone in the world I’d rather be with than you.”

  
Arthur’s shell-shocked expression slowly adjusted to one of acceptance and determination. Merlin could almost see the innate patience that was so a part of Arthur’s character taking over, and a piece of Merlin felt immeasurably sad that Arthur had to go through this. Because of him. When Arthur pulled him close and kissed him, Merlin shuddered, his feelings threatening to overwhelm him. Clutching at Arthur’s hair, Merlin kissed him back, trying to convey with his touch how he felt about him, because although he’d told himself that he really, really wanted to return Arthur’s declaration of love, he found that he couldn’t do it.

  
Thinking back on it later that night as he lay beside Arthur in the darkness listening to the fish tank gurgle and the traffic sounds outside the window, Merlin mentally flagellated himself over and over again, asking why he couldn’t just give the wonderful man beside him what he wanted and needed. Merlin glanced over at him, watching the moonlight illuminate Arthur’s naked skin. Merlin’s eyes travelled over the expanse of Arthur’s body, from his golden blond hair and lush eye lashes, down his patrician nose and chiseled jawline, to his defined pectorals and flat belly and over his muscled thighs between which his cock nestled limp and beautiful in a nest of blond curls, down his tanned legs covered in fine hair to his fine-boned feet. Merlin remembered pressing kisses to the arches of those feet less than an hour ago as he slowly moved inside Arthur, watching his face change as release overtook him. Merlin’s heart squeezed almost painfully, and it was a long time before he was able to fall asleep.

  
                                                                                     ~~O~~

  
A couple of months passed without incident. Merlin’s life went on as usual: work, Arthur, and occasionally Will and/or Gwen. Oddly, the few times Merlin had found himself alone at The Griffin, either when whomever he was with had left and Merlin was finishing a drink or when he was waiting to meet someone, Mordred seemed to appear out of nowhere and sit down to talk. These conversations were strangely easy, and Merlin found himself settling into a new kind of relationship with his ex. A sort of friendship. And if felt good…it healed the wounds that Merlin had been carrying, scarring them over with something fresh and comfortable.

  
Mordred told Merlin about his relationship with Frederick. It surprised Merlin that Fred seemed to take the lead in it, and made him wonder if what Mordred had needed all along was someone to guide him and rein him in when necessary. He certainly seemed more relaxed and happy than he had been when he was with Merlin. The one time Arthur had arrived to meet Merlin after work only to find him chatting with Mordred at the bar, Merlin had seen Arthur stiffen, read the disapproval on his face before Arthur could mask it, but Arthur had said nothing and refrained from bringing it up when they were alone. Part of Merlin appreciated it, but another felt resentful that Arthur obviously had a problem with it and was making some sort of martyr-like attempt to conceal his disapproval.

  
Merlin brought it up with Will one night when his friend came by to see him.

  
“Mordred’s a tool, Merlin,” Will replied matter-of-factly while lounging on the sofa and scratching behind Lolly’s ears.

  
“Exactly how is that supposed to help things, Will?” Merlin retorted irritably. “I’m asking you what you think of the situation.”

  
“And I told you. Mordred is a tool. If he’s causing problems in your relationship with Arthur, you should kick him to the curb.”

  
“I don’t think that’s exactly fair, Will. It’s done me a lot of good to set things right with Mordred after all the horrible feelings our break-up left me with.”

  
Will leaned forward a little, dislodging Lolly. She jumped off his lap and stalked off to sit in the middle of the floor, her back to him. “Let’s get this straight right now,” Will told him, his hazel eyes intense. “The break-up didn’t leave you with horrible feelings; it left you with relief. It was the relationship itself that was horrible, Merlin. And don’t you forget it again!” He settled back on the cushions, his hand searching for the cat he hadn’t realized he’d dislodged.

  
Merlin stared at him, unable to form a retort to that because, dammit, Will was right. It had been the relationship itself that had done a number on Merlin, and forming a new relationship, while perhaps making Merlin feel like a big boy for finally being able to look at Mordred across a table without wanting to either cry or punch him, was neither here nor there.

  
“You wanker,” Merlin grumbled, and Will grinned hugely.

  
“Don’t look so self-satisfied,” Merlin remonstrated. “You haven’t exactly solved all my problems.”

  
“So, name them so I can do so,” Will suggested with a superior nod of his head before clasping his hands behind his head and leaning back into the sofa.

  
Merlin gave him a disgusted look. “Arthur wants to get serious. He wants us to move in together, be a real couple. Maybe even more. Will, you know what I went through with Mordred. I just can’t do it.” Merlin found himself wringing his hands.

  
“Is your relationship with Arthur anything like the one you had with Mordred?” Will asked.

  
Merlin frowned, seeing exactly where that was going. “Oh, shut up.”

  
Will grinned again. “You’re creating obstacles for yourself, Merlin. There’s no reason for you to worry about something that isn’t going to happen. Arthur isn’t going to magically turn into Mordred the Maggot just because you two move in together.”

  
Merlin scowled. “How is it you can be so annoyingly intuitive about my relationships, yet be so clueless in your own? Have you even figured out if you like men or women?”

  
Will pursed his lips. “Not yet. I need to experiment a bit more, I think. Perhaps I should try one of each at the same time.”

  
Merlin rolled his eyes. “Good luck with setting that up.” Merlin was quiet a moment. “Do you really think I should move in with Arthur?” he finally asked.

  
“I think you should do whatever makes you happiest. But leave Mordred out of the equation, yeah? Think on this, mate. Are you willing to risk losing Arthur to hang on to Mordred?”

  
Merlin opened his mouth to object—He was not hanging on to Mordred! But the words died in his throat. He was. Of course he was. Maybe he didn’t want the man as his lover, but he’d made room in his life for him as a friend, even though it was the one thing Arthur made clear to him he didn’t like. He wasn’t sure that his speaking with Mordred occasionally on friendly terms would push Arthur away, but it certainly made Arthur unhappy. Merlin had been concentrating on his feelings of indignation at Arthur trying to control what he did in any shape or form rather than the fact that Arthur was hurting. And wasn’t that the craziest thing? That Merlin should learn to stand up for himself only to assert it in the entirely wrong way with the entirely wrong man?

  
“Sometimes, William, I think you missed your calling.”

  
The smugness in Will’s smile was only this side of tolerable.


	17. One Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changes in the group's dynamics.

Summer rolled in, and Gwen and Lance bought a house. When they set a date for a dinner party, friends got together and decided to make it a house-warming, with everyone bringing gifts. Merlin found himself thinking that nothing was quite as sugary-domestic as Lance and Gwen ensconced in their new home. He had to admit that there was something cozy and wonderful about it all. He felt suddenly that they were grown-up while he was still a struggling adolescent, blocked by his insecurities and weaknesses, holding Arthur down with him.  It made Merlin a bit uncomfortable, even as he enjoyed being with those he cared for the most. Adding to that feeling was the fact that Elena brought a date—Gwaine Achard. The very same Gwaine that Merlin had caught Mordred with shortly before their break-up. However, if Gwaine realized that he’d offended Merlin  in any way, he didn’t show it, and seeing Elena all starry-eyed over him didn’t make Merlin want to tell her about it. He supposed it was very possible that Gwaine had been in the dark about Mordred’s non-availability at the time. Mordred wasn’t exactly a paragon of veracity.

Merlin had been avoiding Mordred ever since his discussion with Will. This fact hadn’t escaped Arthur’s notice, and Merlin was pleased to see that Arthur seemed more relaxed and happy, even though nothing had changed in their relationship. They still saw each other several times a week, stayed a night or two at one or the other’s flat most every weekend, and hung out together with mutual friends. Arthur continued to tell Merlin he loved him even though Merlin still had yet to say it back. He found the longer he put it off, the more difficult it was for the words to come out. He really didn’t even know what his problem was. As he watched Gwen open the bottle of expensive wine Morgana and Leon had brought them, he mused that perhaps he should ask Will the next time they were alone.

Another change in their group…Morgana and Leon had disappeared one weekend and come back married. It soon grew apparent why—Morgana’s power suits began expanding.

Somehow, Gwen and Leon had made things up between them and managed to be friends, happy in one another’s happiness. The two couples were now inseparable. Morgana and Leon were even buying the house next door, only waiting for construction to be finished to move in. One day Arthur had pointed out that people were snapping up the houses in the new development like crazy, and Merlin had detected a wistfulness in his voice that brought a picture into Merlin’s mind of he and Arthur living down the street from the others with a dog and two and a half children, possibly adopted from foreign countries.

Merlin had almost wet himself.

Arthur had become a fanatic uncle-to-be, even going so far as to accompany his sister and her husband to their sonograms and posting one of the stills on his refrigerator. Merlin found it endearing, but also scary as hell. He fought a panic that overwhelmed him almost daily that Arthur would wise up and leave him for some mature bloke who would appreciate a man like Arthur, and that they would marry and start a family while Merlin remained in emotionally-stunted limbo for the rest of his life, with only the memories of the perfect man to sustain him.

He snapped out of his reverie when Arthur handed him a glass of wine. “A penny for your thoughts,” Arthur said, taking a seat beside him and resting his arm on the back of Merlin’s chair.

“Oh, I don’t think they’re worth that much,” Merlin quipped, taking a sip of the wine. He noticed that the glass was one of the set he and Arthur had bought for Gwen and Lance’s house-warming. He’d somehow missed the opening of their gift. If he wasn’t careful, Arthur would leave him out of sheer boredom at the lack of conversation and the added frustration of having to watch Merlin constantly stare into space. He forced himself to snap out of it and focus on the discussion around him.

“And they’re going to build a community swimming pool,” Lance was saying to a group nearby. Morgana sat on a large chair covered in some floral pattern that looked just like Gwen. Merlin imagined her and Lance combing the stores until they found the perfect one. Leon hovered over Morgana with a protective air that Merlin found endearing. Merlin’s eyes roved over to where Elena and Gwaine stood talking with Will and his new boyfriend, Cenred, of all people. Every time Merlin looked at Cenred, all he could think of was Angry Birds. Merlin had actually tried to fix his friend up with Freya, which had led to Cenred in a round-about fashion, since they traveled in the same circle. Merlin hoped that Will had not tried his three-some idea there. Still, he couldn’t help but see that Will and Cenred seemed a good fit.

“Hey,” Arthur had evidently been speaking to him, and Merlin turned his head.

“Sorry, what?”

“Why are you so far away?” Arthur smiled. “I haven’t been able to hold your attention all night. I’m beginning to get a bit of a complex.”

Merlin reached out and pushed back the golden strand of hair that had fallen into Arthur’s eyes. “No need. It’s just my head is full of thoughts this evening.”

Arthur looked like he wanted to ask about them, but since Merlin had already brushed him off once, he wasn’t going to try again. Merlin smiled.

“I don’t know, Arthur. I’m just thinking how nice this is.” He gestured to the room, the house, their friends. “I’m just sort of wanting it for us, too, but feeling all the old anxiety that comes with it,” he explained truthfully.

The hope that rose in Arthur’s eyes was painful to see and made Merlin feel about two inches tall. Would it really be so bad to share a place with Arthur? To spend all his time with him? To wake up with him every morning and go to sleep with him every night? A warm feeling unfurled inside Merlin, and he opened his mouth.

“Maybe…” he licked his lips. “I mean, well, perhaps letting go of my flat wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I’ve never liked it much anyway.”

A smile began to play around Arthur’s mouth. “Really?” he asked, his eyes almost glowing. “You mean it?”

Merlin found himself answering the smile, excitement growing within him. “Yeah. I do.”

Arthur almost bounced in his seat but caught himself. Was he afraid Merlin would snatch the words back moments after they were out? The thought bothered Merlin.

“Hey, guess what, everyone?” he called out to the group at large. When heads turned, he clasped Arthur’s hand and said, “Arthur and I are moving in together!”

There was a general gasp and murmur, with a smattering of applause that started with Morgana. Merlin’s eyes met Will’s, and Will gave him a nod of approval along with a self-satisfied grin. Arthur’s hand gripped his own, and Merlin turned to see the happiness in his boyfriend’s eyes. Merlin was thrilled that he was the one who put it there.

                                                                                                ~~O~~

The move took weeks, as Merlin was a bit of a pack rat, and he had to go through a lot of stuff and get rid of more than half of it.

Arthur spent a lot of time making fun of the various take-out menus, restaurant receipts, playbills, and greeting cards that Merlin had saved, until he found the box full of things commemorating Merlin’s relationship with Arthur, including the tickets to the first movie they’d been to together.

“Oi, Merlin,” Arthur said after spending an inordinate amount of time going through them with a sappy look on his face that gave Merlin an equally sappy feeling in his chest. He stood by the shelves wiping off and packing books, glancing at Arthur now and then where he sat on the floor with the box.

“Oi,” Arthur said again with wonder, and Merlin left his task and walked over to kneel on the floor in front of him. Gently he took Arthur’s hands in his and looked him in the eyes. “Arthur, don’t be so surprised.” He held his gaze for several beats. “I love you.”

Arthur’s mouth moved into a half smile, and he blinked rapidly, pulling his eyes from Merlin’s gaze. Merlin reached up and prodded his jaw so that Arthur looked at him again. “I know I’m shite at this, Arthur, but never doubt it. I do love you. So much.” He leaned in and kissed him, pressing forward until he was sitting in front of Arthur, his long legs wrapped around Arthur’s waist.

The kiss was all-consuming, their mouths moving hungrily over one another. In all the activity of clearing Arthur’s flat to make room for Merlin, and de-hoarding Merlin’s place so he could pack, they’d not had sex in a week.

“Mmm…want you,” Arthur murmured against Merlin’s lips before nibbling enthusiastically on them. Arthur reached and pulled Merlin’s shirt over his head, resuming their kiss with smooth swipes of his tongue into Merlin’s eager mouth. Merlin reveled in the feel of Arthur’s hands over his back gently loving his skin. He scooted closer so that their groins touched, and both men moaned into their kiss. Merlin threaded his hands into Arthur’s hair, something he never tired of doing because it was soft and silky and smelled like heaven, before pulling his mouth away from Arthur’s and burying it into his sweet-tasting neck. Arthur moaned, the sound sending tingling sensations down Merlin’s spine.

“Love you, Arthur, love you, love you.” Now that he’d said it, Merlin found that he couldn’t stop. Arthur fumbled with the fastenings of Merlin’s shorts, opening them up, and Merlin did the same to Arthur’s, moving his hands around and down, cupping and squeezing Arthur’s ass, pulling him forward. Merlin lay back, tugging Arthur with him until Arthur was lying on top of him, and Merlin’s hands played with his luscious rear end while they kissed, clenching the cheeks and running fingers tentatively along the crack. Arthur squirmed over him, needy sounds escaping his mouth as he kicked his shorts downward and off, spreading his legs invitingly.

Merlin smiled, a finger finding the entrance it sought, pushing gently.

“You drive me crazy, Merlin,” Arthur huffed, his face close and warm.

“The feeling is oh-so-mutual, Mr. Pendragon,” Merlin answered.

Arthur propped himself on his elbows, sprinkling kisses over Merlin’s face while pressing back on Merlin’s insistent finger until it pierced him. Merlin wiggled into the tight warmth, searching as Arthur’s rigid, leaking prick brushed purposefully against his stomach. He watched Arthur come undone as Merlin found what he was looking for and stroked it relentlessly.

“Ahh! Oh, God, Merlin!” Arthur cried out, shuddering helplessly as he spilled over Merlin’s stomach, and Merlin shushed him, removing his finger and raining kisses over Arthur’s reddened face.

Arthur swallowed, resting a moment in the nook between Merlin’s shoulder and neck before moving downward and taking Merlin into his mouth. Merlin watched the blond head bobbing over him with lust-laden eyes, rolling with each wave of pleasure Arthur brought him with his talented tongue. The sight of him kneeling there, his mouth full of Merlin’s dick, was so beautifully filthy that Merlin came with a harsh cry, thrusting upward, his breath stuttering as Arthur sucked him dry.

They lay together on the floor, the cat coming to investigate and walking all over them, pressing her cold nose to their skin and purring until Merlin pushed her off and away.

“Oh, fuck, Merlin!” Arthur suddenly said, lifting his head and looking at Merlin with anguished eyes.

“What is it?” Merlin asked, suddenly afraid.

“My…my flat. I can’t have animals!”

“What?” It took Merlin a moment to process. No animals. No—Lolly. “Oh.”

Arthur struggled to sit up. “We could get another flat somewhere together, yeah? Maybe…could Will look after her until we do? Or if he can’t, perhaps Morgana and Leon.”

“I guess that would work.” Merlin reached out and touched Arthur’s bare chest, wondering if he’d thought Merlin would call it all off over a cat. Start unpacking the boxes and putting things away. It made him sad that Arthur might. “We’ll figure it out.”

Arthur visibly relaxed and moved closer to Merlin. “Have I told you I love you?”

“Not in a while,” Merlin smiled.

“Well, I do.” Arthur kissed his nose. “And I can’t wait for you to move in with me.”


	18. Taking a Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin reaps the rewards of taking a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mention of BDSM (not between Merlin and Arthur).  
> Stupid fumbling on my part trying to realistically depict life in London/London suburbs. If I make any terrible errors likely to make Brits reading this cringe, please email me for ways to fix.  
> pregnancy, more rimming, shameless smut and the like. (But you're probably used to that by now.)

With the help of their friends, the move went smoothly. True to his word, Arthur immediately started looking for something a little bigger that allowed animals, while Merlin left a great deal unpacked in anticipation of moving again.

“Have you thought about a house, Merlin?” Arthur asked him one night when they’d stopped at The Griffin for a drink. Merlin had only been living at Arthur’s flat with him for a week, but already he was addicted to it. There wasn’t anything better than seeing his face first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Sundays spent reading or watching television while wrapped up together on the sofa seemed pure bliss to Merlin. But a house?

“I—don’t know,” Merlin said hesitantly.

“Well, we have to move so we can get the cat back from Will, and it seems to only make sense to get a house…I mean, if we might be doing that in a year or so anyway.” Arthur eyes were uncertain. Merlin wanted to reassure him, but right then his heart was beating so fast, he couldn’t quite catch his breath.

Arthur reached out, taking Merlin’s hand in his. “Hey, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about this now.”

“Arthur, I’m sorry,” Merlin gasped. He got up and headed for the men’s room, his mind in a jumble.

When he came out of the stall, he almost ran straight into Mordred.

“Merlin! Hello. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been rather busy.” Merlin crossed to the sinks, a little uncomfortable. “How have you been?”

“Good. I’ve missed you, though. I thought for a while there we might be able to be friends, but I get the feeling you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Um. I guess it’s not such a good idea.” Merlin’s gut twisted. He honestly couldn’t say whether Mordred himself made him nervous or if it had more to do with Arthur’s disapproval of Merlin talking to Mordred. A third possibility would be Merlin’s dislike of Athur’s disapproval. Whatever. All Merlin knew was that his insides were in knots.

“Is that you talking or Arthur Pendragon?” Mordred asked, frowning. “Merlin, we have a history. I hate to see us become utter strangers. I mean, if the guy’s insecure, just remind him that I’m in a happy relationship myself and not a threat.” 

“Arthur’s not insecure. He’s just concerned for me, that’s all.”

“Concerned?” Mordred stepped toward him. “Merlin, I don’t understand. What’s the harm in the two of us being friends?”

Merlin dried his hands, avoiding meeting Mordred’s gaze in the mirror. “There’s no harm. It’s just that a clean break is better.”

Mordred touched Merlin’s shoulder, turning him around. “I know I was being a real dick to you after the break-up. I’m sorry about that.” Mordred’s eyes were sincere. “Merlin, I don’t want to lose you completely. Say we can be friends.” When Merlin didn’t answer, Mordred’s hand dropped to his arm. “If it was so bloody awful having me tell you what to do, why are you letting this guy dictate whom you can and cannot see?”

“He’s not dictating!” Merlin shook off his hand. “I can see you if I want to. I’ve just decided I don’t want to.”

Mordred stared at him. “I don’t believe you! You’re letting him tell you what to do. For all your talk, you’re in the same boat you were in with me. Have you ever thought that maybe it’s _you_ that has the problem, Merlin?” Mordred walked out the door, almost running into Arthur coming in.

Arthur watched Mordred disappearing into the crowd before stepping into the room and letting the door swing shut. “I came to see if you’re all right,” he told Merlin.

“Yes, I’m fine! And I wasn’t meeting Mordred in here secretly, if that’s what you’re thinking!”

“Of course I wasn’t thinking that!” Arthur exclaimed. “You just seemed very upset at the table, and you were taking so long…”

“Can’t I spend a few extra minutes in the bathroom if I want to?” Merlin asked heatedly. He put a hand to his head. “Let’s go home.”

Arthur was quiet on the way to their flat, and Merlin’s stomach remained in knots. When they walked into their place, Merlin announced he was going to take a shower and headed for the bathroom, not wanting to talk just yet. He was confused. Mordred’s words rang in his ears--had he consigned himself to another relationship where he had to be controlled by someone else? Stripping off his clothes, Merlin stepped into the large shower stall and turned on the water.

But no, Merlin thought, picking up the soap and washing his body under the pounding spray. Arthur and he had a relationship that was give and take. Arthur may suggest something, but he never told him what to do. Merlin sighed, rinsing off. Why was he listening to Mordred, anyway? He knew better than anyone how manipulative he could be.

Drying off, Merlin took his robe off the hook Arthur had added to the back of the door next to his own—just one of the many things Arthur had done to try to make Merlin feel at home—and padded into the bedroom where Arthur was lying on the bed, propped against some pillows, his face closed off. Merlin sat down next to him.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. You don’t deserve the way I treat you sometimes.”

Arthur’s dark eyes watched him, his aristocratic mouth turned down. He didn’t say anything.

Merlin took a deep breath. “I need to grow up. Stop worrying about every step I take. I love you, Arthur. I think we should definitely look for a house.”

Surprise took over the unhappy expression on Arthur’s face. “I’d more or less prepared myself to hear you tell me you’re moving out,” he admitted.

“What? Oh, no, Arthur. No.” Merlin climbed up to sit beside him, laying his head on Arthur’s chest.

Tenderly, Arthur brought his hand up and stroked Merlin’s hair. “I don’t want you to agree to a house just to make me happy. We can lease a flat. I’m pushing you too hard.”

Merlin made a negative motion with his head. “No. You’ve been more than patient. It’s not as though I think I’m going to change my mind about you. It’s just me being silly.” He rose up and looked at Arthur. “We’ll start looking. Or—we could claim one of those being built in Morgana’s neighborhood.”

The smile that lit Arthur’s face was worth every difficult word. Merlin pressed a kiss to Arthur’s sternum. “It’ll be brilliant,” he whispered, hoping he was right.

~~O~~

Merlin and Arthur sat in Leon and Morgana’s spacious living room, watching the construction going on across the street. Their house would be finished within the week.

Morgana’s belly was now quite large, and Merlin marveled at how good she looked pregnant. Some women became swollen and ungainly, but Morgana somehow managed to look ripe and…sexy. Not that Merlin could get turned-on by a woman in any condition, but he could look at her and see how someone could. And it was evident that Leon found her delicious by the way his eyes never left her and he was always touching her.

When Leon and Arthur left to cross the street and investigate progress on construction, Morgana sat back with her tea and studied Merlin. They’d become fairly good friends, although until recently Morgana had seemed to be keeping a slight distance between them.

“You know, Merlin,” she began, her green eyes intent upon him. “I really thought you would break my brother’s heart. I never expected you to come this far with him.”

Merlin could feel his face coloring under her scrutiny. “I love him,” he answered simply. “I’m not perfect, though.”

“Oh, I know you’re not. And neither is he. He’s just as capable of messing things up between you are you are, but I’ve seen a miraculous change in Arthur since he met you.” At Merlin’s surprised expression, she continued. “He’s not always been the patient, understanding man you know and love. Arthur tries harder for you than he has for anyone else in his life.” She paused, letting the words sink in. “I hope you never forget that.”

“Morgana, I don’t know what to say to reassure you. It’s not in my heart to hurt Arthur. I love him. I’ve—had a rough time and Arthur’s been incredibly understanding about it. I’m doing my best to move on.”

Morgana smiled, leaning forward to pat his knee. “I believe you, Merlin. I couldn’t have been more shocked when you two bought the house across the street. It’s going to be wonderful.”

Merlin nodded. The past several months with Arthur truly had been wonderful. They’d fallen into a pattern together that felt right. They cooked and cleaned together. Read and watched telly together. They took runs and went to The Griffin together. Visited friends and went to work together. And they never got tired of it. It seemed crazy, but it was true: the two of them were joined at the hip, and they both loved it.

Merlin found himself looking forward to the move into the new house. Autumn had brought the first biting chill to the air, and Merlin counted the days until construction was complete and they could move in. The master bedroom was spacious, and they planned to buy a huge bed. There was a fireplace in there, as well, and Merlin imagined nights lying naked in one another’s arms while a fire blazed, throwing shadows on the walls as the snow fell outside their balcony doors.

“You do love him,” Morgana said softly, and Merlin snapped back to attention, unaware that he’d slipped off into his daydreams. He stood, unwinding his long legs from their sitting position and set his and Morgana’s cups on the table. He held out his hand. “Let’s go join them, shall we?”

Morgana took his offered help and pulled herself to her feet. Grabbing a shawl off the hall tree, she wrapped it around her shoulders, and the two of them set off across the street. Merlin heard a shouted greeting and looked over his shoulder to see Gwen waving from her porch, a pot of mums in her grip. He waved to her and motioned her over.

“If Gwen wasn’t so lovely, I would hate her for being Leon’s ex,” Morgana told Merlin as they continued toward the house. “It’s kind of amazing that we’ve become such good friends.”

“There’s no one quite like her,” Merlin agreed. They found Leon and Arthur in the back yard, surveying the planting of some shrubbery. Arthur’s face lit up when he saw Merlin coming around the corner with his arm around Morgana’s shoulders.

“It won’t be long now,” he told Merlin happily. We should be able to move in by the last week in October.”

Merlin grinned. “That’s wonderful! Will is going to be happy to hear it. He loves Lolly, but he said he’s sick of changing the litter box. Not to mention the fact that Cenred is allergic to cats. We’ve put a serious crimp in his love life.”

Arthur moved to slide an arm around Merlin’s waist and draw him closer, nuzzling his nose into Merlin’s neck.

Gwen appeared from around the house, joining the group standing in the yard. “I’m jealous; your backyard is bigger than ours! And you have a maple!”

“Sorry about that, Gwen,” Arthur said. “You’ll have to have Lance plant one for you.”

“Little likelihood of that,” Gwen pouted. “He hates getting his hands dirty.”

“I’ll plant one for you, if you like, Gwen,” Merlin told her.

“You can plant trees?” Arthur asked him with interest. “How is it I didn’t know about this talent?”

“There are still a few things you don’t know about me,” Merlin said cheekily. Arthur pulled him closer, kissing him on the cheek.

“I have no doubt.”

 

Two and a half weeks later, they were fully moved in. Boxes were everywhere, and the cat stayed hidden under the new bed, unable quite yet to adjust, but they were home. Merlin got his fires in the fireplaces, and the small maple in the backyard was aflame with colour.

“I’ve never been happier,” Arthur told Merlin during one of their breaks from unpacking. He stood looking out the window at the birdfeeder he’d places on the back porch, his hands buried in his pants pockets. “I’ve always wanted a home like this.”

“It really is marvelous,” Merlin said, coming closer and sliding his hands in between Arthur’s arms and his sides, wrapping them around Arthur’s waist and resting his chin on Arthur’s shoulder. He watched a pair of cardinals extract seeds from the feeder.

“Are you happy, Merlin?” Arthur asked softly. “I mean, really happy?”

Merlin squeezed him. “Of course, you dolt! I’m extremely happy.” He kissed Arthur’s neck before taking a tiny bite.

“Ouch!” Arthur turned around in Merlin’s embrace. “You cheeky bastard!” He kissed Merlin softly and then more aggressively, bucking their groins together suggestively.

Merlin smiled against Arthur’s lips. “Arthur, it’s only mid-afternoon!”

“So? We’re in our own house.” He wrestled with Merlin’s jeans until he had them undone. “We’ve taken the day off, and we’ve been unpacking all morning. We deserve this.” Sliding his hand inside Merlin’s boxers, he took hold of his cock.

“Oi!” Merlin gasped. “Your hand’s cold!”

Arthur laughed, taking Merlin’s mouth in another kiss, loving it with his lips until Merlin opened wide, allowing his tongue inside. “What do you say we christen each room in turn, beginning with this one?” Arthur asked between kisses.

“Sounds like a plan,” Merlin answered, making a grab for Arthur’s zipper. A few moments later, and their pants were pooled about their feet, Merlin was draped over the back of the sofa, and Arthur had his face buried between the cheeks of his arse.

“Ahh! Ah, shit, Arthur, _fuck_ fuuuck!” Merlin’s legs trembled at the onslaught of Arthur’s tongue, laving and sucking at his hole. His body was jack knifed, completely folded over the back of the couch as Arthur knelt behind him making all sorts of filthy, wet noises as he feasted upon him.

The doorbell halted their activity like a cold bucket of water to the face. Arthur sprang to his feet, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, and Merlin jerked away from the sofa, grabbing his pants from about his feet and hopping around the room, trying to pull them up.

“Fuck! Who the hell can that be?” Arthur exclaimed, jerking his own pants up and buttoning them. The doorbell rang again just as Merlin tripped and went sprawling onto the sofa.

Arthur made his way to the door, yanking it open to find his sister standing there, a large cake in her hands.

“Hello!” she said pleasantly, her eyes raking over her brother’s disheveled appearance with ill-concealed amusement. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, no, we were just unpacking,” Arthur replied, trying for a casual lean against the door but managing only to look wiped out and in need of support.

“I’ve brought you a cake,” Morgana swept past him into the foyer, her gaze wandering to the living room where Merlin’s head suddenly popped up from behind the sofa.

“Hello, Morgana!” he grinned.

Morgana handed the cake to Arthur and walked into the living room. “Hello, Merlin! You look flushed.”

“Oh, um, it’s all the unpacking. The bending over and--erm—“ He turned scarlet as Arthur’s mouth fell open and he flashed Merlin a disbelieving look.

“I see,” Morgana laughed. Merlin jumped up.

“Arthur, I’m going to the hardware store and get those hooks we were talking about.” He grabbed the keys up off the table and hurried into the garage, Morgana’s laugher following him. Raising the door and getting into the black Ford Fiesta Sedan he and Arthur had purchased together a couple of month previous, Merlin backed out of the garage and zig-zagged his way out of their quiet neighborhood.

The drive downtown was pleasant with the windows open and the chilly breeze hitting Merlin’s face, still hot with desire and embarrassment. He reached down and adjusted himself in his jeans, remembering what Arthur had been doing to him when Morgana arrived. It was an activity the two of them enjoyed so much, they’d taken to having the area waxed. At first Merlin had found this procedure embarrassing as hell, but this was where having a rich boyfriend had come in handy. Arthur paid to have a woman come to their place and do it. They always had the same one—an older woman named Alice—and after a while it stopped making Merlin want to throw up simply anticipating her arrival, although he never found himself chatting pleasantly with her while she did her job as Arthur often did. She also cut hair, and she would give them a pleasant facial shave, as well as the anal wax.

Merlin found a parking space close to the hardware store and several other shops, and went in, taking his time perusing the shelves to give his ‘sister-in-law’ plenty of time to visit with Arthur and then leave. He idly wondered what kind of cake she’d brought as he paid and left the store, heading for a book shop.

Browsing casually, he found two books he thought Arthur might like and was just heading for the mystery section when he was surprised to run into Mordred.

“Oh—hello,” Merlin said a little stiltedly. He hadn’t seen Mordred since their conversation in the men’s room months ago. “What are you doing on this end of town?”

“Hi, Merlin,” Mordred greeted him with a wide smile. “Fred found us a flat just up the road. He moved his office. I’m glad to see you—I didn’t like the way we’d left things.” He glanced at the books Merlin held. “I didn’t know you enjoyed sci-fi.”

“That would be Arthur,” Merlin told him. He looked down at his feet and then back up again. “We’ve moved in together—found a place a few miles from here. A house.”

“A house? My, you’ve really gotten serious then, haven’t you.” Mordred studied his face. He held up his book. “I’m doing a bit of research. How would you like walking back to our flat with me? We could have some tea." At Merlin's prolonged pause, he added, "Unless…you’re afraid Arthur will get angry. I just assumed that now that you’ve gotten a house, things are probably more secure between the two of you.”

Merlin bit his lip. He didn’t see the harm in it. “That would be nice, actually.”

Mordred looked pleased. “All right, then. Let’s pay for our books, yeah?”

When they left the book store, they walked companionably a few blocks down the street until they came to a nice building with a doorman. The man waved casually at Mordred as they entered, and they took the lift up to the twentieth floor, where Mordred entered a code and the doors opened into the penthouse.

“Oi, posh!” Merlin breathed. The room was all glass, black and white, and had a wonderful view of the city.

Merlin looked about at the various art work on the walls by the front door. There were several modern black and white photographs of nude men in various positions. Nothing lewd, just artful body displays that Merlin actually found quite attractive. There was, however, a rather odd iron sculpture of an erect phallus with a protruding ball sack on the hall table.

“Interesting,” Merlin said, observing it curiously.

Mordred laughed. “That was done by a good friend of Fred’s. It’s called ‘The Phallus,’ not surprisingly.” He reached out and wrapped his hand around the large, cold, metal shaft. “When you feel the solid steel, it brings to mind the sex act.” He smiled at Merlin, raising a brow.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Merlin replied, stepping away.

Heading for the kitchen to put the kettle on, Mordred called over his shoulder, “Go and make yourself comfortable on the couch.”

Merlin stepped down into the sunken living room and made his way over to the black leather sofa, taking a seat on it. Mordred had tossed his purchase onto the glass coffee table on his way to the kitchen, and Merlin picked the book up. It was a guide to BDSM.

“Are you really into this stuff?” he asked Mordred when he came in with the tea. Merlin had looked through the book, a bit put off by the illustrations and frank descriptions.

“I am now,” Mordred answered, handing Merlin his steaming mug. “It was all Fred’s idea, but I’ve found it quite therapeutic.” He eyed Merlin as he seated himself on a nearby leather chair. “You know better than anyone that I’ve struggled with issues of dominance. I find letting Fred take the dominant role in our sex play has helped me to submit.”

Merlin swallowed, uncomfortable. “Well, that’s good…I guess.”

“It’s very good,” Mordred smiled. “We have a place all set up in the exercise room.  Rings on the walls and all that to hang from. It’s very sexy.” He tilted his head. “You know, it might be fun if you and Arthur joined us sometime. A foursome.”

Merlin almost spilt his tea as he swallowed the wrong way and began coughing and spluttering.

“No,” he said hoarsely. “I don’t think so.”

“Merlin, you could be dominant—it would do you a world of good.”

Merlin shook his head. “No, thanks, really. That’s not our thing at all.” He looked around for a change of subject, but there was nothing to focus on except the bizarre artwork. “So, is Fred at work?”

“Yes. I have the day off today. What about you?”

“We took the day to finish unpacking.” Merlin set his tea down. “In fact, I’d better get home. I only left to pick up some things at the hardware and went into the book shop as an afterthought.” He stood, grabbing his bags. “Thanks for the tea, Mordred.”

“Well, you’ve hardly had any, but you’re welcome.” He walked Merlin to the door. “It was great seeing you, Merlin. And let me know if you change your mind about the foursome, yeah?”

Merlin thought it would be a cold day in hell before that ever happened, but he smiled and nodded before making his escape.


	19. Various Happenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This, that, and the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: slight mention of BDSM. Digusting pregnancy talk.

Merlin found himself telling Arthur about his encounter with Mordred while they lay in bed that night, moonlight shining on them from the double-doored balcony. When he told him he’d gone with Mordred to the penthouse he shared with Fred, Merlin felt Arthur tense beside him. Merlin went on to describe the sculpture and then the book, hoping Arthur would find it funny, but it seemed to only irritate him more.

“The sick _fuck_!” Arthur finally exclaimed.

Merlin hadn’t even gotten to the part about Mordred asking them to join them, something Merlin found more amusing every time he thought of it. The very image of Arthur tied to a wall with Merlin in leather, a whip in his hand, particularly with similarly-clad Mordred and _Fred_ anywhere in the vicinity, was frankly ludicrous.

“Oh, I don’t know, Arthur, some people are into that kind of stuff. And if it helps Mordred with his bossy, domineering issues, then more power to them.”

Arthur sat up, his back to Merlin. Merlin’s eyes ran over him--the wide expanse of his bare shoulders narrowing down to a trim waist before dipping to two luscious dimples above his arse. He laid a hand on the middle of Arthur’s back. “Don’t be angry, Arthur,” he said softly. “Please. It was nothing…just a cup of tea.” He took a breath, adding, “Don’t make me feel I can’t tell you these things.”

Arthur turned to him, pinning Merlin with his stare. “Merlin, I don’t trust him. And I just don’t understand your need to be around him.”

Merlin huffed a laugh, bringing his arms up to pull Arthur close. “I don’t _need_ to, Arthur. It’s not like I’m seeking him out or anything. Every time I’ve spoken to him, I’ve run into him by accident. Tea seemed pretty harmless, and I was trying to waste a bit of time until Morgana left.”

“Yes, and isn’t it awfully weird that you seem to run into him so often?” Arthur muttered, laying his head on Merlin’s shoulder.

“Now, don’t get all ridiculously suspicious. There’s nothing at all odd about running into him at The Griffin.”

“No, but we’ve moved to the other side of bloody London, and here he is again!” Arthur complained.

Merlin chuckled, amused at Arthur’s jealousy in spite of himself. “I saw his flat, Arthur. He was telling the truth—he and Fred moved, and it’s just a coincidence that it’s within fifteen minutes of our new house. Honestly, I’m glad I went. I just feel better about things somehow. Like I’ve turned a page.”

At that moment, Lolly decided to come out of hiding and jumped up on the bed with them, meowing plaintively.

“You have food down in the kitchen, Miss,” Merlin told her. Lolly ignored him, climbing onto Merlin’s chest and kneading her nails into his skin.

“Ouch! Oi, you dumb cat!” Merlin pushed her off, and she scampered away. “I think she’s become more ornery since staying with Will!”

“That’ll do it,” Arthur replied, lifting his head and resting his chin on his hand. “Merlin, do you really want to be friends with Mordred? I mean, not just on pleasant terms, but friends as in get–together-with-occasionally?”

Merlin thought about it. “I don’t really know. When he asked me to his flat, I think I just wanted to prove to him that I could do it without it being a big deal.” He thought about Mordred and Fred and their odd sex-play and kinky exercise room. “I guess I don’t want to spend time with him or Fred.” He sighed. “I think now that I’ve proven a point, I can let it go.” He looked at Arthur, bringing his hand up to comb through Arthur’s hair.

“Okay, then.” Arthur crawled up to kiss Merlin softly, latching onto his pouty bottom lip and pulling invitingly. Merlin held him tightly and returned the kiss, tongue eagerly entering Arthur’s warm mouth. Love, pure and simple, filled him to the brim.

It wasn’t long before heated kisses turned into amorous touches, and then they were sweaty, panting, Merlin’s fingers buried deep inside Arthur, driving him wild with desire. Merlin sprawled on his side, his hand moving rhythmically, watching, mesmerized, as Arthur slowly came undone. He leaned forward, slipping Arthur’s hard cock into his mouth, and Arthur writhed on his fingers, breath quick and thready, hands reaching for him, tugging fretfully at Merlin’s hair. Merlin tormented him with long, curled fingers, prodding Arthur’s prostate over and over again as Arthur began to keen in the still night air. Merlin heard Lolly scramble from wherever she’d been sulking and go careening out of the room, claws clacking on the hard wood floor.

Merlin slipped his mouth off Arthur. “Come on, baby, cum for me,” he whispered, and Arthur jerked, exploding, ropes of semen hitting Merlin on the side of the head. Merlin scrunched up his face and laughed. “Guess I got what I asked for,” he said, leaning down and wiping his cheek on Arthur’s still-heaving stomach.

“Ugh, towel,” Arthur said hoarsely, and Merlin jumped off the bed, grabbing one from the laundry basket and wiping off his face and fingers before returning to clean up Arthur. Grabbing the lube, Merlin quickly slicked up his throbbing cock before crawling up to the head of the bed and sitting down.

“Come on, love,” he invited, stroking himself until he was steely hard.

With a contented sigh, Arthur rolled over and climbed atop Merlin, lowering his now relaxed and wet opening onto Merlin’s waiting cock. Merlin leaned his head back and moaned appreciatively at the tight, hot feel of Arthur’s body encasing his sensitive member. “God, Arthur…so fucking perfect… you are…,” he let out a long breath before beginning to pump his hips.

Arthur wobbled a bit, riding Merlin with the languid movements of the recently shagged.

“Jesus, it’s like fucking a wet noodle!” Merlin chuckled breathlessly, grabbing onto Arthur’s hips to steady him and then moaning as a tremor of pleasure ran through his frame.

Arthur reached back and held onto Merlin’s thighs while Merlin pumped harder, whimpering because he was so close…so fucking close…

He slammed in one last time, calling out as he came, holding onto Arthur as waves of sensation rolled over him. It wasn’t long until they were both face-down in the sheets, legs entwined, fast asleep.

                                                                ~~~~~OOO~~OOO~~~~~

The following day Merlin spent most of his time in his office, trying to catch up on all the work he’d missed the day before. Gwen paid him a visit around lunch, asking if he was going to order in. “Arthur’s gone to a series of meetings—he said he’d see you tonight, as he probably won’t be back in the office. His father will drop him off home.”

“Sure, I’ll have whatever you’re ordering,” Merlin replied distractedly.

Gwen perched on the edge of the desk. “Are you settling in well in the house? Is it as terrible as you were afraid it would be?”

Merlin looked up from his sketches. “Hmm? Terrible? Gwen, I never said it would be terrible. I was only afraid…”

Gwen arched a brow. “Yes? Just exactly what were you afraid of, Merlin? I never could quite catch that.”

Merlin sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Is this your way of telling me I’ve been wasting time refusing Arthur’s advances when I could have been in domestic heaven?” He tossed his pencil onto his desk. “I don’t know what I was afraid of, actually. I guess just that this perfect thing Arthur and I have will blow up in our faces.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe how good it really is sometimes.”

His phone buzzed, and Merlin picked it up, surprised to find a text from Mordred, asking him to lunch.

“Hell.” He filled Gwen in on what had happened the day before.

“Ew! They tie each other up? Mordred and that _old man_?” Gwen’s face was almost comical.

“Is that what you’re focusing on? He’s asking me to have lunch! What do I say?”

“You don’t want to go, do you?” Gwen asked.

Merlin didn’t. And he’d also told Arthur that he didn’t want to hang out with Mordred as a friend. So why was he hesitating? What was it about Mordred that made him feel about seven years old?

He took a breath and typed in a text -- _sorry, no can do_.

A moment later it buzzed again, Mordred saying, _maybe another time_.

“Perhaps you should just tell him straight out that you don’t want to be friends, Merlin. Otherwise, this is going to drag out.” Gwen had her no-nonsense look on her face.

“I can’t text a person that!” Merlin exclaimed. “That’s something I really should’ve said yesterday. Now I’ll have to wait until I’m face to face with him again.”

“Call him,” Gwen suggested. “Just tell him it’s for the best.”

Merlin frowned. “Ugh, Gwen,” he waved his hand about. “Order us some Chinese, would you? I’ll have whatever.”

Gwen stood and left the room, confident that Merlin would do as he was told, he had no doubt. He hesitated just a second or two before dialing.

“Merlin!” Mordred greeted him, and Merlin was relieved not to feel the old stirrings within him that he used to feel every time he heard Mordred’s voice. “Have you managed to get away?”

“Erm, no. I’m calling because I need to just be honest with you, Mordred. I don’t want to meet with you. See, I just don’t feel we can be friends. I’m sorry, but it’s too late for that. I should’ve told you yesterday. I went to your place just to—well, prove that I could, I guess. And it brought me some closure that I hadn’t even realized I needed. But now I think we’d best avoid one another.”

Silence drew out on the other end, and Merlin bit his lip to force himself not to fill it with inane chatter. Finally, Mordred spoke, his tone regretful.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I really do miss you quite a lot, Merlin. Are you certain Arthur didn’t yell at you for seeing me?”

“Arthur doesn’t yell at me,” Merlin told him, bristling. “He’s not you. Goodbye, Mordred.” He ended the call and sat back with a relieved sigh.

Merlin felt so much lighter, the rest of the day virtually flew by. When he arrived home, Arthur wasn’t there yet. He grinned at the new sonogram photo stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet as he got a bottle of water and twisted it open. The thing was looking more and more like a baby, he mused, staring at the image. He headed upstairs to change clothes, Lolly at his heels.

It was close to ten when Arthur let himself in the front door.

“You look knackered,” Merlin told him, coming out of the kitchen and unwrapping Arthur’s scarf from his neck. He took Arthur’s cheek in his hand and kissed him. “And your nose is cold!” Merlin rubbed his against it. “Meetings that bad?”

“Worse,” Arthur answered, shrugging out of his coat and hanging it in the closet.

“Go upstairs and get comfortable,” Merlin suggested. “I’ll bring you something to eat.”

“You’re the best,” Arthur smiled, heading that way.

Merlin brought a tray with wine, cheese, biscuits, and fruit, finding Arthur lounging on their bed in a pair of white pyjama bottoms.

“This is perfect,” Arthur told him, popping some brie into his mouth. They sprawled on the mattress, the tray between them. Merlin had turned on the gas fireplace earlier, and it flickered in the dim light.

“The business lunch was ages ago, and I never got any dinner,” Arthur told him, choosing a cracker.  
“Father wouldn’t let up until all the stock holders agreed on all the points, and I thought my head was going to explode!”

“Poor baby,” Merlin pushed a fat, purple grape past Arthur’s wet, red lips.

“I really am,” Arthur said pitifully before chewing up the grape and swallowing. “And what’s more—I’m probably going to have to go out of town soon, for a weekend. Father insists I be with him for a contract signing in Dublin, even though he really doesn’t need me at all.”

Merlin didn’t like the sound of that. He never wanted to spend a night without Arthur. Ever. He told Arthur as much, and Arthur gazed at him all dewy-eyed, and then Merlin simply had to crawl over the tray, almost spilling the wine, and kiss Arthur’s luscious mouth.

Merlin’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, and Merlin carefully climbed back over to his side of the bed.

“Whoever it is, tell them to bugger off,” Arthur suggested.

Merlin grinned and looked at the screen. He couldn’t believe it; Mordred.

_It occurred to me that the 4some invite may have frightened you off. Don’t worry—I understand it’s not for everyone._

Merlin thought about ignoring it, but knowing Mordred, he’d just keep texting him.

_That wasn’t it. I’m serious. Stop._

 He put the phone back and got comfortable again.

“Who was that?” Arthur asked curiously as he spread more brie on a biscuit. He fed it to Merlin.

As Merlin chewed, he considered evading the answer but decided against it.

“It was Mordred. He texted me today, wanting to meet for lunch.” Merlin met Arthur’s eyes, which were wary and dark. “I called him and told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. I told him I should have made that clear when I was at his flat.”

The tightness that had appeared around Arthur’s mouth began to relax. “So what’s he texting you for now?”

Merlin took a drink of wine before answering. “He evidently thought he’d put me off by something he’d said when I was there.”

Arthur raised a questioning brow and waited for Merlin to continue.

“He asked if we’d be interested in joining him and Fred in a BDSM foursome.” Merlin waited while Arthur digested this. It took a while.

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” Arthur finally replied, a look of utter distaste on his face.

Merlin wrinkled his nose. “I know. Gross, isn’t it?”

“I can’t think of anyone I’d be willing to do that sort of thing with,” Arthur declared after another moment.

“Gwen and Lance?” Merlin suggested, and when Arthur made a face, he said, “Leon and Morgana?”

“Ew!” Arthur shuddered. “Merlin!” He removed their wine glasses and made a lunge for him, pinning Merlin to the bed and showering his face with kisses. “Take…that…back….right….now, you _wanker_!”

Merlin couldn’t stop laughing. “It’s not that difficult to picture Morgana as a dominatrix!”

“Oh. My. God. Merlin. Shut _up_!” Arthur dug his fingers into Merlin’s ribs and tickled him mercilessly, only stopping when Merlin declared he was going to piss his pants.

An hour later, when they were comfortably ensconced in bed, Arthur with his glasses on, reading one of the novels Merlin had gotten him, and Merlin snuggled beside him, watching the fire, Merlin thought about where he’d been a little over a year ago. Unhappy and in a horrid relationship with someone who couldn’t possibly have really loved him. He’d never in a million years imagined then that he would have all he had now. And he’d certainly fought hard enough _not_ to have it, but fortunately for him, Arthur was a determined, stubborn man.

Merlin fell asleep extremely content and happy.

                                                                                                ~~~OOO~~~

Christmas lights twinkled on the gigantic tree in the middle of the shopping centre as “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas” played over the speakers. Merlin kept a hand on Morgana’s elbow, afraid she might trip and squash her unborn child, which jutted obscenely from her torso like a huge growth.

“Thank you again for helping me with this, Merlin,” she huffed as they made their way through yet another gift boutique. “I swear, Leon is so selfish! I can’t believe he’s off having drinks with Lance while I get our gift shopping completed! And I’m the one with the swollen ankles! He certainly has no idea how it feels to carry nine pounds of baby with all sorts of fluid added to that. And did you know that pregnant women have double the blood supply they normally do? Of course you don’t; you’re a man. Sweet as you are, you can’t help being dense as a doornail due to your unfortunate gender handicap.” She put a hand to her back. “Oh, my aching back!”

“Come sit down.” Merlin steered her out of the store and toward a bench, setting her packages beside her. “I’ll go get you some nice ice cream, yeah?”

Morgana smiled grudgingly. “Thanks. That would be lovely.”

Merlin went to stand in line at Hagan Dazs, reflecting at the strange turn of events that had brought him to being at the overly crowded shopping centre at two o’clock on a Saturday afternoon with a hormonal and cross Morgana.

Arthur was in Dublin with Uther. He’d left Thursday night, and Merlin was miserable without him. This weakness, no doubt, was partly what had led him to open his mouth and offer to let Leon off the hook when Gwen had come down with the flu and cancelled on Morgana. Leon had whined about not being able to take another afternoon with his cranky wife and her incessant bitching, and that, coming out of his mild-mannered friend’s mouth about the wife he adored, was what fully convinced Merlin that Leon was at the end of his tether. What choice did Merlin have, really?

Arthur told him over the phone that morning that Merlin had most certainly had a choice—he should have said ‘no.’ Merlin was too nice for his own good, and he would remember that later when he got home with blisters on his feet and a headache from Morgana’s constant snarking. Still, Merlin supposed that it was better than staying at the house staring forlornly at everything that reminded him of Arthur, but frankly he was having a bit of trouble not just abandoning Morgana at the shopping centre at this point. They’d been there _five_ hours! Surely the woman was almost finished with her shopping.

When Merlin returned with her ice cream, Morgana set to eating it like she hadn’t just consumed two huge slices of pizza just an hour ago. He watched bemusedly as she plowed her way through the double scoop with relish. When she’d finished, she sat for a moment, content. Then a strange look came over her face.

“Merlin, I have to use the ladies room,” she announced. “Be right back.” She got up with difficulty and waddled toward the facilities. Merlin watched her go before looking at his phone for the time. He noticed he had a text message, and opened it up.

_I really need to talk to you. Please._

Mordred. What the fuck? Couldn’t the man just let him alone? He hadn’t heard from him since he’d told him to stop. He’d really thought Mordred had got it this time. With a sigh, he decided to ignore it, and instead texted Arthur.

_Morgana in the loo after eating her way through the shopping centre._

He sent it.

_Your cue to make a run for it._

Merlin smiled.

_And what if niece/nephew makes an appearance? U would nvr 4giv me!_

He pressed send.

_True. Stay put._

Morgana came out, looking a bit green. “I think I’m ready to go home. I don’t want to have another episode like that in a public rest room.”

“Threw up all the ice cream, did you?” Merlin guessed, gathering up the bags.

“Let’s just say it was worse. You really don’t want to know. The good news is, I lost my mucus plug and managed to save it in a baggie I had in my purse!”

Merlin’s face contorted almost painfully in horror. “What the fuck does that mean? No, never mind, I don’t want to hear it. Please don’t tell me. Or show me.” He hustled Morgana to the nearest exit.

Once home, a refreshed Leon welcomed his bride with warmth and affection, and Morgana immediately melted into his arms as though she’d never been a raving lunatic.

Merlin went home and soaked his feet, texting Arthur.

_Morgana lost some sort of phlegm plug?? Put it in baggie. Don’t ask._

He sent it, then laughed out loud at Arthur’s almost instant reply.

_OMG just threw up in mouth!_

At half past eleven, just when Merlin was thinking about going to bed with a good book, he picked up his mobile to call Arthur and saw three missed calls from the past couple of hours. Evidently, he’d inadvertently turned off his ringer. Checking, he saw that they were all from Mordred. Annoyed, Merlin threw it onto the love seat across the room. Arthur would probably already be asleep anyway.

He was just getting into the best part of his novel when the doorbell rang.

“What the fuck?” Merlin got up, almost tripping over the cat. Padding down the stairs, he flung open the door to find none other than Mordred standing there.

“How did you know where I live?” he asked, annoyed.

“Merlin, why haven’t you answered my calls?” Mordred asked, leaning against the door frame. Merlin looked him over—he was a wreck. His clothes looked as though he’d slept in them—several times. His hair was disheveled and perhaps a bit dirty. There were dark circles under his eyes.

Cold air was creeping in around the door, so Merlin stepped back and let Mordred in, shutting it behind them.

“What’s wrong?” Merlin asked, a little more kindly.

Mordred turned to face him, looking more upset than Merlin had ever seen him. “Fred. He—he’s dead, Merlin.”

“What? Oh, my God! I’m so sorry!” Merlin brought his hands to his mouth in shock.

Mordred swayed a bit on his feet, and Merlin took him by the arm and led him to the couch. “What happened?”

“A heart attack,” Mordred answered, sniffling before succumbing to a coughing fit.

“Go ahead and take your coat off. I’ll get you some tea—you look half frozen.”

When Merlin returned with a mug of hot ginger tea, Mordred was sitting in the same position with his coat still on. Merlin helped him out of it and handed him his cup.

“It happened a week ago. The funeral was yesterday,” Mordred said. “It really wasn’t much of a funeral, actually. Fred didn’t want a fuss. I had him cremated.”

“I’m so sorry,” Merlin said again. Tentatively, he reached out and rubbed Mordred’s arm. This seemed to be the other man’s undoing, for Mordred instantly burst into tears, jagged sobs wracking his body. Merlin didn’t know what else to do but encircle him in his arms and hold him while he cried.


	20. The Real Difference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it all comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Arse waxing. A bit of fun.
> 
> It's been a wild ride! Thank you for taking it with me! I truly appreciate the kudos and comments, particularly from those who have stuck with this story as it progressed. Hope you enjoy the ending.

When Mordred got hold of himself, he stood and restlessly walked about the living room, looking at photos on the mantel of Arthur and Merlin, Leon and Morgana, before crossing the room to admire the tree.

“Very elegant,” he said, touching one of the dangling glass ornaments.

“Some of Arthur’s heirlooms,” Merlin answered.

“You seem to have a very domestic set-up here,” Mordred smiled faintly. “You deserve that after what I put you through.” He sighed, running a hand through the waves of his hair. “I’d really hoped to have the same with Fred. Not a house like this, but…the penthouse. And maybe a pet or something.” He sounded so lost; Merlin couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

“Have you spoken with your sister? You shouldn’t be alone,” he told him.

“She moved to Amsterdam with her husband last May,” Mordred answered, gazing out into the dark back yard. “It probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise to you, but I really don’t have any friends. You’re one of the few people who have ever put up with me. That’s one of the reasons your friendship is so important to me now.”

Merlin bit his lip, cleared his throat. He stared at his feet another moment before arriving at a decision. “It’s late. I’ll get some sheets and fix up the couch for you. We can talk in the morning.”

“What about Arthur? Is he asleep?” Mordred asked, turning away from the window. “He won’t like it.”

“He isn’t here,” Merlin replied, standing up. He went to the linen closet and brought back a pillow, blanket, and some sheets. While he made up the couch, Mordred stood watching.

“There. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. There’s a bathroom down that hall.” Merlin pointed in the general direction. “I’ll talk to you in the morning, yeah?” He turned off the tree lights. “Try to get some sleep.”

“Thank you,” Mordred said quietly as Merlin headed upstairs. “It’s nice not to be alone.”

Once in his bedroom, Merlin shucked his clothes and climbed into the bed, pulling Arthur’s pillow close to his chest. He missed Arthur so much. Merlin couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to lose him the way Mordred had lost Fred. It would devastate him, he knew. He didn’t know how he would go on. Arthur had become such a major part of his life…

Merlin rolled onto his back, unable to drift off. Just two mornings ago he and Arthur had made love in this bed. Arthur had spread himself over Merlin like a blanket, covering his back as Arthur’s cock moved inside Merlin, driving him to scream out Arthur’s name several times before coming all over the sheet beneath him. It had been hot, electric and powerful. Arthur had entwined his fingers with Merlin’s as he pumped into him, and Merlin had felt owned—and it had been brilliant.

Reaching down to touch himself with that memory fresh in his mind, Merlin stroked his cock, twisting and pulling at it until he gasped and came onto his belly. Spent and cozy underneath the downy comforter, Merlin wiped his hand on the sheet, promising himself he’d change them in the morning. He thought about his mobile all the way across the room on the loveseat, where he’d tossed it earlier when he’d seen Mordred’s missed calls. He was too comfortable to get up and fetch it, but he didn’t expect to hear from Arthur until morning anyway. Rolling over, he fell into a deep sleep.

                                                                ~~~~~~~OOOOOOO~~~~~~~

Merlin awoke, blinking groggily in the early morning sunlight shining through the windows he and Arthur had not yet covered with drapes. He’d migrated over to Arthur’s side of the bed during the night, most likely chasing his lover’s lingering scent. Reaching up, Merlin rubbed his eyes and looked toward the door, stunned into complete wakefulness at finding Arthur standing there, suitcase in hand.

“Arthur!” Merlin propped himself up on an elbow, a welcoming smile forming on his face. “What are you doing here?”

Arthur was pale, and his expression—Merlin immediately knew something was very wrong. “Are you all right?” Merlin sat up, cold fear seizing his heart. “Arthur, answer me!”

When Arthur didn’t move, his eyes still pinned to the bed, Merlin turned, jerking visibly when he saw Mordred lying beside him, half naked and asleep.

“Fuck!” Merlin jumped, scrambling off the bed and to his feet.

Arthur finally pulled his gaze to rove over Merlin’s nude body, settling on the crusty white remnants of semen all over Merlin’s stomach. He turned abruptly and left the room.

“Arthur! Wait!” Merlin went after him, nabbing his jeans off the floor and racing down the stairs to where Arthur stood shrugging into his overcoat.

“I never thought…” Arthur said hoarsely, turning pain-filled eyes on Merlin. “I never thought you’d do something like this.”

“Arthur, fuck, I have no idea why he’s in there! I made him a bed on the couch!” Merlin gestured toward the living room. Both turned their heads, but there was no pile of sheets on the sofa; everything was neat and orderly. Arthur shook his head, and Merlin groaned, stepping into his jeans.

“Arthur, I swear to God! He came here last night because Fred—he _died_!”

“And of course you had to comfort him,” Arthur seemed to be fighting to control his emotions.

“Yes…no! I let him stay here last night. On the couch!”

A noise on the steps alerted them to Mordred’s presence on the landing.

“Mordred, tell him!”

Mordred shifted his feet. He was wearing only boxer shorts, and his hair was mussed. “Merlin, it’s time Arthur knew the truth about us,” Mordred said slowly, and Merlin thought he had to be hearing things.

“What the hell, Mordred? There is no _us_!”

“Merlin.” Mordred shook his head in a reprimanding manner that had once been very familiar to Merlin.

“Tell him the _truth_!” Merlin yelled, blood rushing to his face.

“I’m leaving,” Arthur turned toward the door.

“No, Arthur, no!” Merlin rounded on Mordred. “ _You_ get out! Get out! Oh my God, I tried to be nice to you! I tried to _help_ you! Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just let me be happy?” Merlin pressed his fist to his mouth and turned beseeching, tear-filled eyes on Arthur, who had paused in the doorway, obviously affected.

Merlin shifted toward the man on the stairs. “Mordred,” he said unevenly, “If you ever loved me…even a little. Please, _please_ tell Arthur the truth.” He stared into Mordred’s shuttered eyes, his own spilling tears that made wet tracks down his cheeks, and realized he was begging the devil for mercy.

The unbearable silence following Merlin’s words hung in the air like a stifling cloud, the three men seemingly frozen in a tableau of high emotion. It wasn’t until Mordred, who had been thoughtfully studying Merlin’s face, turned to Arthur and opened his mouth to speak that Merlin felt he could breathe again.

But Merlin never knew what Mordred was going to say, because Arthur stopped him.

“You don’t have to say anything. I believe Merlin. Get your clothes and get out.”

Mordred’s eyes widened. He glanced at Merlin and then back to Arthur. “You don’t know him like I do. You’ll regret ever getting entangled with him in the first place,” he promised Arthur. “He can’t stay away from me. He’s been harassing me for months! Sending me texts. Following me!”

“Get. Out.” Arthur demanded through clenched teeth. “Do it now, or I’ll kick you out into the cold without your clothes.”

Mordred growled, but turned and walked toward the living room where he had left his things. Arthur watched him put them on, but Merlin couldn’t take his eyes off Arthur. Tears spilled down his cheeks, but he let them fall. All he could think about was the fact that Arthur believed him. No matter how bad it looked, and it looked _bad_ , Arthur believed him when he said that nothing happened.

Merlin had never loved him more than in that moment.

After Mordred stormed out, Arthur slammed the door and leaned against it. Merlin’s body shook, and he knew his face wore a pinched grimace of despair, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop his tears. Opening his mouth, he took a long, trembling breath, started to say something, then found he couldn’t as more tears came. He turned away, feeling Arthur’s eyes upon him.

“I’m so s-stupid,” Merlin finally managed to get out on a wave of anger at his stupidity. Enraged, he slammed his hand against the wall, shaking the pictures hanging there. Pain, sharp and fierce shot through Merlin’s arm, making him cry out. Leaning over, he cradled his hand in his other palm.

“ _Mer_ lin,” Arthur admonished, pulling him around to rest against his chest. “Don’t break your fingers, for God’s sake. He isn’t worth it.”

“You were going to leave!” Merlin sobbed into Arthur’s shoulder, so frightened at the thought, yet so happy to be in Arthur’s arms again.

“I would’ve figured it out and come back,” Arthur spoke into Merlin’s hair. 

Merlin sniffed. “Arthur, I swear…on everything important to me…I did not invite Mordred into our bed, or even think about being with him in any way! He was so destroyed last night—so different from just now! He said Fred had died, and that he had no one to turn to. I left him on the couch!”

“Shh,” Arthur stroked Merlin’s hair. “I said I believe you. It was just a terrible shock for me to see him there. In our bed. And you naked—”

Merlin laughed a little hysterically. “I’d beaten off last night after leaving Mordred down here on the couch. I’d fallen asleep right after. How much worse could things look? Oh, my God.” He pulled Arthur tighter to him. “Do you think he planned the whole thing? And why did he get in bed with me but not touch me?”

Arthur moved away from Merlin, frowning in thought as he took off his coat and hung it up.

“I called you late on your mobile to tell you that I’d told Father about that…thing….Morgana had said she’d lost and saved in a baggie. Father said that often happens shortly before giving birth, and he insisted that I take the next flight home. I couldn’t get you on the mobile, so I left a message on the home machine.”

Merlin knew the answering machine connected to their home number was set to pick up after only one ring, since he and Arthur rarely used that phone. They just checked it every so often for the blinking red light heralding a message.

He watched Arthur cross to the living room and look at the machine. “No light,” Arthur told him before pressing the PLAY button. Arthur’s voice filled the room, telling Merlin he loved him and would be home by daylight.

Arthur looked up at Merlin. “He heard the message and staged the whole thing by putting away the bedclothes from the couch and climbing into bed with you. That fucking, manipulative bastard.”

Merlin took a deep breath. “He miscalculated on one point. Your belief in me and in my love for you. Thank God.” He smiled at Arthur, and Arthur smiled back at him.

 

**Epilogue:**

Five months later, Merlin hung up the phone and turned to Arthur, who stood sweating in his old, sleeveless jersey after having spent the past hour mowing the lawn. He and Lance had somehow entered a competition of who could mow their yards in the most perfectly even and precise diagonal rows.

“Morgana wants us to babysit Rachel tonight. Are you up for it?”

“Since when am I ever _not_ up to spending time with our niece?” Arthur asked with a raised brow as he pulled his jersey off and mopped his face with it.

“I suppose never, since you hand her over to me every time her nappy’s filled or she spits up,” Merlin replied. “I already told Morgana we would anyway, so I don’t know why I’m even consulting you about it.”

“Probably just to give me the illusion of having some say in things rather than being the completely whipped man we both know I am.”

“You are _not_ whipped,” Merlin told him, stepping forward and pulling him close. There hadn’t been a moment since the awful night that Mordred had set him up and Merlin had thought he’d lost Arthur for good that Merlin didn’t appreciate having him for his own. “I’m the whipped one. Completely and utterly. You could come home and wipe your feet on me.”

Arthur pulled back. “You’re no doormat, Merlin.”

Merlin smiled. “I guess not anymore. But I’d do absolutely anything for you, and you know it.”

“See that it stays that way,” Arthur replied, leaning in for a kiss. “So when is the little princess coming over?”

“In about an hour. Leon’s taking Morgana to some fancy restaurant that doesn’t allow babies. Even beautiful ones with red curly hair and big blue eyes.”

Arthur grinned, obviously aware that Merlin was just as besotted with baby Rachel as he was.

The doorbell rang.

“Who could that be?” Merlin wondered, peeking out the window. “Arthur, it’s Alice! Today isn’t our ass-waxing day, is it? Oh, my God…it is!”

“What are you getting all in a ruffle about, Merlin? Let Alice in! I’ll just jump in the shower.”

“Arthur, I can’t just have my ass waxed at the drop of a hat! I have to be ready for that kind of thing! Psyche myself up a bit!”

Arthur looked at him oddly and shook his head. “You are so weird.” He turned and jogged up the stairs.

Merlin straightened his shoulders and opened the door, standing back so the older woman could maneuver inside with her large bag and portable table.

“Good afternoon, Merlin!” Alice greeted him with a matronly smile.

“Er, hello, Alice! I’d forgotten that today was our standing appointment day.”

“Every fourth Monday at six,” Alice replied, waddling into the living room and unfolding her table. She liked to be very professional, even on her home visits, and insisted on using her table. “Will you boys be wanting a shave today, too?”

“I don’t think so, no. Uh, Arthur will be down in a second, and then I’ll pop in the shower while you, um, do him.” Merlin winced at his own choice of words.

“That will be fine, Merlin,” Alice said pleasantly, humming a lively tune as she took various things out of her satchel and set them on the coffee table. Merlin took the stairs two at a time, arriving outside the bathroom just as a damp, freshly washed Arthur appeared, pulling his robe around him.

“She’s setting up,” Merlin said, blushing fiercely.

“Will you never get used to it?” Arthur asked indulgently. “She’s seen your ass close to a dozen times now.”

Merlin shuddered. “Don’t remind me.” He went into the bathroom, quickly took off his work clothes, and hurriedly, yet thoroughly, washed himself. When he arrived downstairs ten minutes later, he found Arthur on his elbows and knees on Alice’s table, laughing away at some joke she’d told while she yanked wax strips out of his ass crack.

Merlin didn’t know how he did it.

Then it was Merlin’s turn. He was thankful that Arthur took a seat across from him, conversing jovially with Alice while she waited for Merlin to get into the incredibly humiliating position she required and then started applying wax with individual dippers. As always, the hot wax felt odd yet titillating on the sensitive skin of his crack. Will had once asked Merlin if he ever got hard during the procedure, and Merlin explained that just knowing that grandmotherly Alice was staring at his anus and that all his junk was hanging down between his legs was enough to head off any burgeoning erection, thank you very much.

The doorbell rang, and Arthur stood.

“What the fuck, Arthur—excuse me, Alice—don’t get the door!”

“Let me just see who it is.” Arthur disappeared, and Merlin buried his face in his hands, wishing Alice would hurry the fuck up, but she was applying wax and stripping it off as meticulously as always.

“It’s Morgana with the baby!” Arthur called back.

“For pity’s sake, Arthur, don’t let her in!” Merlin yelled.

“Be still, please,” Alice told him before ripping off a strip of wax. Merlin winced.

“I can’t hear what she’s saying!” Arthur replied. “Oh, I’ll call her mobile.” After a moment, Merlin heard Arthur talking to his sister via cell phone. “Yes? Well, I can’t let you in right now because Merlin’s in the middle of something. Yeah. He’s having his ass waxed.”

“ARTHUR!” Merlin yelled.

“What? Oh, well, okay.” Merlin heard Arthur unlocking the door.

“Arthur! Oh, my God! I am going to kill you for this!”

“She has to leave Rachel with us now!” Arthur called back to him. “Hi, oh—hello, my little princess! Yes, come to Uncle Arthur!”

“Is that your niece?” Alice said. “Oh, I’d love to see her!”

“Alice, don’t you dare move until you’ve finished!” Merlin said far more harshly than he’d ever spoken to the woman before.

Alice huffed and ripped off more strips, a little more aggressively than warranted, Merlin thought.

“And don’t forget to give her a bottle around eight,” Morgana’s voice carried into the living room. Holy fuck, was she getting closer? Merlin wiggled, earning him an ass slap from Alice.

“Be still, man!”

“Morgana, don’t you dare come in here!” Merlin yelled.

“For God’s sake, Merlin, what’s the big deal?” To Merlin’s utter mortification, Morgana appeared from around the corner, thankfully on the side he was facing. “ _Please_ …you all saw me with my legs spread wide and a baby coming out of my fanny…so I’m not supposed to witness you on all fours getting your bum hair removed?”

Merlin moaned, casting a baleful glare at Arthur, who stood behind his sister holding the baby and looking decidedly amused. Finally, Alice patted Merlin’s butt and announced herself finished.

Merlin jerked his body upward, flashing his entire package at Morgana. “Shit!” he screeched, doubling over, and Morgana laughed outright.

“Absolutely nothing I haven’t seen on my husband, I assure you,” she told him. “Although I do think you have an inch or two on Leon. Don’t tell him I said that.”

Merlin twisted around and grabbed his robe. Alice made a b-line for the baby, cooing at her as Arthur transferred her into her arms.

“Poor love. I'm sorry; my sister really has no boundries." Arthur pulled Merlin close, kissing his temple. “Your face is completely red, Merlin. ” He leaned toward his ear, whispering seductively, "I’ll make it up to you later; I promise,” before nipping at the lobe. Merlin’s knees buckled. Arthur well knew how sensitive his ears were, and often used it to his advantage.

“Remember how much you used to hate Mondays?” Arthur asked as Morgana and Alice chatted away about the baby. “You were such a grump.”

“And you fed me that terrible line about all the wonderful things that happen on that day of the week,” Merlin remembered, relaxing into Arthur’s arms. “I thought you were so weird.”

Arthur threw his head back and laughed. “Best come-on line, _ever_!” he announced. “It got me you, didn’t it?” Leaning in, he kissed Merlin lovingly.

“Right,” Merlin agreed. “And more importantly, it got me _you_.”

_finis_


End file.
